Livestream Matchmaking: My Intel Infinitely Refreshes

Chapter 22: Chapter 22: It’s True, Someone Like You Can’t Get Married

Zhang Zhe still couldn’t figure it out, even after the other person left the call.

Why would that older ”voice squeezer,” Liu Shuyao—the boxing master who’d returned from studying abroad—think so highly of him?

’Is this my protagonist’s halo at work?’

Then he saw a comment in the stream:

[Came here from Xiaohongshu. Is this streamer the super-smart host of the Matchmaking Live Stream Room?]

At first, Zhang Zhe thought it was just a joke.

He often saw people online using that kind of sentence structure:

”Here from [Pop Star]’s fan page. Who was just saying his songs suck?”

”Here from [Influencer]’s fan page. Is the streamer illiterate too?”

”Here from Xiaohongshu. You’re the one who said my sisters are brainless, right?”

’So this comment has to be a meme, right?’

That was Zhang Zhe’s initial thought.

But then he was shocked to see his viewer count suddenly start to climb.

Before, the count was hovering around 500, slowly ticking up by single digits—typical organic traffic.

But for some reason, it jumped directly from 500 to 800. Then the tens digit started changing nonstop, and in a moment it was at 900, then 1,000+.

The number of comments in the live stream exploded as well:

[Is this the live stream Sister Yaoyao was talking about?]

[The host really doesn’t seem that greasy.]

[It’s amazing that Sister Yaoyao managed to find one normal person among all the streamers on Douyin.]

[Which one of you sisters still has fantasies about marriage? Get on the mic and ask him!]

What Zhang Zhe didn’t know was this:

In a thousand-member fan group called the ”’Sisters’ Mutual Aid Group,” their leader had just recommended his live stream.

She had added a brief introduction:

”Sisters, I’ve already checked him out. This streamer is very objective. For those of you who still harbor fantasies about marriage, you can go give it a try.”

”He’ll make you understand what I’ve been saying all along—that the current matchmaking market is rife with paternalism and unsuitable for normal people.”

”I hope that after you all connect with him, your convictions will be strengthened.”

”...”

What Zhang Zhe knew even less was that the viewer who had just posted ”Came here from Xiaohongshu” was a whistleblower lurking in that thousand-member mutual aid group.

He was there to warn Zhang Zhe about the kind of troops that would soon be arriving.

That’s right: Xiaohongshu. The one and only supreme temple for the exchange of modern female martial arts.

Weibo used to be a contender because it was home to many influential Big V’s, but after the relevant authorities cracked down on it, it was no longer the powerhouse it once was.

Plus, the presence of young, obsessive fangirls from stan culture on Weibo meant the ”boxing” that went on there wasn’t as pure.

So, Xiaohongshu became the last Shanghai Fortress (the movie version).

Although Zhang Zhe hadn’t imagined there was such a complex story behind the sudden explosion in his viewer count...

...reading the comments, he could already sense that something was off.

”All the new viewers were recommended to come here, right?”

”Let me make a declaration: This is a legitimate Matchmaking Live Stream Room. The purpose is to help people analyze their prospects in the dating market.”

”It’s just that because I’m a man and a professional in the matchmaking industry, I can offer the service of acting as a mock blind date...”

Zhang Zhe hadn’t even finished his introduction when his co-streaming request list on Douyin was already maxed out.

A single glance revealed that every profile picture and name was female.

[Streamer, let me go first!]

[Pull me up, thanks. I have some marriage questions I’d like to ask.]

[Help a girl out, I’m so lost right now.]

Seeing these comments didn’t make Zhang Zhe happy in the slightest. On the contrary, he found the whole situation absurd.

He quickly added another declaration:

”Service A is currently suspended. The host just got his feelings hurt on his own blind date. If any of you are interested in me, please come back tomorrow.”

”Today, I’m only taking Service B.”

”If you’re here for Service A, please cancel your co-stream request now!”

Zhang Zhe repeated himself, but not a single name on the request list moved.

Apparently, not one of them was here for him.

’Uh, what? Is this right?’

But on the bright side, Zhang Zhe felt a lot more at ease. ’No problem. As long as they’re not interested in me, I’ll have plenty of room to maneuver.’

It didn’t matter where these people came from.

He was confident he could handle them.

’What’s so scary about going on blind dates with a few hundred women in a row?’

Zhang Zhe could already see the [Points] waving at him.

”If no one is canceling their place in line, I’m going to start connecting.”

”I’ll assume by default that you’re here for Service B.”

”Once you’re on the mic, state your basic information frankly and honestly. After I’ve recorded it, you can tell me what kind of blind date you’re looking for.”

”Okay, the first person is [Qinghe].”

”Hello.”

”Hello, streamer! Phew—I can’t believe I managed to snag the first spot.”

The woman’s voice was quite pleasant, with a slightly husky, smoky quality, but it was thin and not what you’d call authentic:

”Let me start by introducing myself.”

”I have a bachelor’s from a Tier 1 university and also a master’s from a top-100 QS university. I’m currently working at a major tech firm, with an annual salary of around 300,000-plus...”

The longtime viewers in the stream were taken aback.

They felt like they had just heard something very similar.

[How is there another top-100 QS? Is that something really amazing?]

[That’s not good enough, miss. You only went to a Tier 1. The last one went to a Top 3 university, remember?]

[I get it now. Everyone in this stream works at the same company, right?]

When Zhang Zhe heard the woman say she ”also” had a degree from a top-100 QS university, he instantly understood. This was traffic funneled over by the previous woman.

He immediately interrupted her with a question:

”May I ask your age?”

”I was born in ’94.”

”Okay, please continue.” Zhang Zhe nodded. ’Just as I thought,’ he mused. ’Her profile is also that of an older, single woman from a big tech company. In the real world, these types love to stick together.’

”Um, my family’s at about an 8.2 to 8.3 level, meaning 20 to 30 million in assets.”

”I’m 165 cm tall, which is about average height for a girl.”

”I have a really great personality. No one in my life has ever said I have a bad personality. Anyway, everyone seems really happy when they’re around me, hehe...”

Hearing this, Zhang Zhe looked up in surprise.

The woman didn’t have her camera on, but she certainly didn’t sound as grating as the ”squeezer” from before.

’If she has such a great personality, why is she still single?’

Just as Zhang Zhe was wondering, the woman proactively revealed the reason: ”But I have one really major shortcoming. I’m... 220 pounds.”

”How much?” Zhang Zhe asked subconsciously, repeating her.

Sometimes, you ask again not because you didn’t hear, but because you’re in shock.

”220 pounds?”

”Yes.” The woman laughed, a bit embarrassed. ”I’m a little bit fat.”

[You’re not a little bit fat, you’re very fat.]

[What a sunny personality, sis!]

[I’ve met this sister before, she’s a really great person.]

[I’ve seen her too. She has good features, you can’t even tell she’s 220 pounds.]

[Is everyone in the comments being passive-aggressive? In that case, let me join in. Sweetie, you’re a super, super cute big piggy.]

The ratio of ”sisters” to normal people in the stream was now 50-50.

The comments section seemed completely fractured.

Zhang Zhe didn’t dare to laugh, because he was afraid her weight might be due to a medical condition. If he laughed, he could get flamed online.

He treated it as a normal weight:

”Okay, do you have any relationship experience?”

”Yes, yes, I’ve been in several relationships before, but how should I put it... they weren’t the serious kind, the ones heading toward marriage.”

”I was just playing around with them.”

”Understood.” Zhang Zhe said ”Understood” out loud, though in his heart he was thinking, ’I do not understand in the slightest.’

’Why would a 220-pound girl think *she* was the one just playing around with *them*?’

’Couldn’t it just be that the guys were chubby chasers?’