Livestream Matchmaking: My Intel Infinitely Refreshes

Chapter 18: Chapter 18: The Rope Used to Tie Crabs

”You don’t have to be local to join the call,” Zhang Zhe replied to the chat’s question. ”If you’ve taken a liking to the streamer, feel free to join the call.”

”I’m willing to fly anywhere in the world, but the prerequisite is that I have to be interested in you.”

The words had barely left his mouth when Zhang Zhe received a call request from a user named [Little Pig is George].

”Hello? Are you the one who just posted in the chat?”

”Yes, yes, that was me.” The woman’s voice was quite magnetic. ”Actually, I wanted to join before the last girl did, but I tend to hesitate.”

”I’m going to a matchmaking event tomorrow and I’m a little nervous. I was hoping you could give me some pointers.”

”Don’t call me Teacher, there’s no need to be so formal.” Zhang Zhe waved his finger. ”If everyone called me Teacher, wouldn’t my ’Service A’ turn into a bunch of teacher-student affairs?”

”Haha, okay.”

”But I’m here for ’Service B.’ Streamer, could you pretend to be my blind date for tomorrow? When I give my self-introduction in a bit, you can help me pick out its flaws.”

”Oh, so like a mock interview. No problem, I’m good at that.”

Zhang Zhe and his close friends often acted as interviewers for each other, so they were quick to spot flaws in resumes and self-introductions.

This way, there was no need for her to register her information.

What Zhang Zhe had to do next was act as if he were the man sitting across from this woman on a blind date, and then critique her.

”Let me show you my photo first, then.”

This woman was very open. Even though she didn’t turn on her camera, she sent Zhang Zhe a photo of herself with no makeup on.

When Zhang Zhe saw the photo, his vision went dark.

It was way too plain. It looked like a driver’s license photo, completely devoid of any aesthetic appeal.

”You do wear makeup normally, right?”

”Mhm, I usually wear light makeup.”

”Alright, then. Whatever you do, don’t let your blind date see this photo. You have a decent foundation to work with; with makeup, you should be around a 5.”

[Is the streamer the only one who can see the photo?]

[A 5 with makeup? Then she’s probably a 3 without it.]

[Are male streamers just allowed to publicly rate women’s looks now? I’m shaking with rage. The world is a cold, cold place.]

[I bet the streamer would be a 5 if he cross-dressed, too.]

”Okay, thank you, Teacher,” the woman answered out of habit.

”So, shall we start the blind date now?”

”Yes, let’s begin.” Zhang Zhe made a welcoming gesture. ”You can start with your self-introduction.”

”Okay. Hello, my date. I’m 29 years old, and I have a master’s degree from studying abroad in the United States. I’m currently a freelancer, and my annual income is around 100,000 to 200,000.”

After finishing that part of her introduction, the woman immediately asked Zhang Zhe:

”Teacher, was there anything wrong with that part?”

”It’s not that there’s a problem, it just feels a bit off,” Zhang Zhe analyzed carefully. ”You only said you studied in the United States, but you didn’t say which school. So, I’m going to assume you got one of those fluff master’s degrees.”

”A fluff master’s is for rich kids who spend money to go abroad just to gild their resumes.”

”But if your family is rich, how is your annual income only 100,000?”

Zhang Zhe added an explanation, ”Usually, when a woman states a range, we always assume the minimum value. So 100,000 to 200,000 means 100,000. The only exception is weight; for weight, you always assume the maximum.”

[Simple. Her family ran out of money after she finished studying abroad.]

[Maybe she was on a government scholarship? Or got in through connections?]

[I think her reputation at the school was probably trashed, that’s why she won’t say the name.]

”I can explain that,” the woman replied. ”I don’t rely on my family much now; the income is what I earn myself. But my family has assets in the nine figures.”

After she finished explaining, Zhang Zhe just nodded and didn’t say much.

Because the system had already explained everything clearly:

[High-Value Intelligence]

[The Host’s current blind date partner, Zhai Jing, was in a romantic relationship with a professor during college. The professor later pulled some strings to give her a spot to study abroad, but she cut off all contact with him as soon as she left the country.]

’Well, well, if it isn’t an academic femme fatale.’

’That professor was really something else. She burned that bridge the second she got to the other side.’

Zhang Zhe had only ever seen this kind of thing in the news before.

Now, it seemed this kind of thing might be quite common; it’s just that most cases are handled discreetly and never come to light.

Seeing that Zhang Zhe didn’t seem inclined to comment further, the woman continued her self-introduction:

”I’ve been single for almost two years and haven’t been able to find a suitable partner. It’s because I’m quite picky. I hope my other half is handsome, but his financial situation also can’t be worse than mine.”

”He can’t just come and expect a share of my family’s money, right?”

”If I can’t find someone suitable, I’d rather stay single than settle.”

”Teacher, was there anything wrong with that part?”

”Nothing wrong with it. So, that’s your summary of why you’re 29 and still going on blind dates, right?” Zhang Zhe felt like he’d gotten to the heart of the matter.

”Yes. I’m all about looks. Back when I was younger, to be honest, I wouldn’t have even given someone with your level of attractiveness a second glance, Streamer.”

”I see. You must have dated a really handsome guy before.”

”Yes!” the woman exclaimed in surprise. ”How did you know, Teacher?”

[Trying to be Guo Xiang, are we? One look at Yang Guo and she was ruined for life.]

[Nine times out of ten, someone obsessed with looks has been played by a hot guy.]

[The streamer is a professional Matchmaker. He understood your whole spiel the moment he heard it.]

”Because you sound like you have a brain,” Zhang Zhe analyzed simply. ”Some idiots will insist they won’t marry anyone less than Daniel Wu, and that’s because they have no self-awareness.”

”But you’re clearly not one of them.”

’How could a woman with no self-awareness possibly pull off seducing a professor to help her study abroad?’

Zhang Zhe kept this thought to himself.

If he said it out loud, the woman would probably explode.

”You’re not stupid, yet you still insist on finding someone handsome. That can only mean you have some justification for that belief, and the most likely justification is that you’ve actually dated a very handsome guy.”

”Yes, yes,” the woman replied quickly. ”I used to date a handsome guy from a nine-figure family. He was the one who pursued me, and he spent money on me and provided great emotional value.”

”Because of that experience, I’ve found it very difficult to ’date down’ for the past two years.”

Zhang Zhe now understood her mentality.

’Some hemp ropes, just because they’ve been used to tie up crabs, start thinking they’re worth as much as the crabs themselves.’

Suppose a handsome guy who drives a Ferrari has twenty ex-girlfriends. That creates twenty women who can say ”my ex drove a Ferrari,” and even more best friends who think, ”my friend, who isn’t even as pretty as me, found a boyfriend who drives a Ferrari.”

’In the end, it’s all the rich people’s fault.’

’Why do rich people have to be so awful!’

’Zhang Zhe wouldn’t mind being one of those ”awful” people himself.’

Of course, there was no need to share this kind of analysis with the woman.

Otherwise, there was a high probability she would have a meltdown.

Zhang Zhe chose a more professional reply: ”I can understand your thinking, but the reality is, at your age and with your 5-out-of-10 looks, you can either find a handsome guy or a rich one. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

”In another two years, once you hit 30, you’ll only be able to look for handsome guys, because the rich ones won’t look at you anymore.”

”Do I really have no other choice?” the woman asked, unwilling to accept it.

”Of course you have a choice,” Zhang Zhe said sincerely. ”You can also choose not to get married and spend the rest of your life reminiscing about your ex-boyfriend.”

”You could even have it engraved on your tombstone: ’Dated a handsome guy from a nine-figure family when I was 25.’”