This Doctor Is Too Wealthy

He hadn’t even finished speaking when the seven or eight people before him vanished. They all ducked into the small woods, and when they said they were leaving, they truly left, without the slightest hesitation.

”These ignorant fools.”

Liu Gong cursed under his breath, then hurried over to Du Jun’s wife. It was only then that he noticed the woman on the ground, struggling violently like a ball. Besides the cloth strip from her trousers, there was a ring of short, brownish-yellow hairs around her mouth, matted with dried bloodstains into a filthy mess.

Liu Gong felt disgusted but didn’t dwell on it. He squatted down to untie the tree bark cord, saying softly, ”Don’t worry, I’ll untie you. Don’t mind those rough men.”

”Did a ****ing fly crawl into your cunt? I’ll **** your ancestors for eight generations...”

The moment Liu Gong untied the cord, a flood of ”cordial” greetings aimed at his mother, father, and eight generations of his ancestors poured out. Besides the constant references to below-the-belt topics, various adjectives and verbs were cleverly interspersed.

In those few short seconds, Liu Gong experienced for the first time the charm of the Chinese language.

Compared to Western profanities, limited to words like ’fuck’ or ’bitch’, the ingenious combinations of the Chinese language could form tens of thousands of different curses. Yet, one could still understand their core meaning without the slightest confusion.

Liu Gong understood now.

But he understood too late; he paid the price for his youth.

Listening to the endless torrent of profanity, Liu Gong’s anger surged from his heart, and malice rose to his gallbladder. The pant leg—he didn’t even know whose it was—that he hadn’t moved far, returned to its proper place in what felt like 0.01 seconds. The tree bark rope in his hands also returned to its original state in what seemed like 0.05 seconds.

”****!” The world fell silent, but Liu Gong couldn’t hold back a curse of his own.

Yet when he turned to look at this rotund woman again, he was dumbfounded.

How am I going to get her down the mountain?

He quickly looked back towards the woods, but those ’old farmers,’ as he called them, had vanished.

”BZZT... BZZT... Has anyone seen Du Jun’s wife? Confirmed? Have we really found her?”

The walkie-talkie at his waist suddenly crackled to life. Hearing the instructor’s voice, Liu Gong’s eyes welled up with tears. He’d found his savior!

He quickly picked up the walkie-talkie.

「Out of the mountain」

Du Ping’s peculiar state of dress immediately attracted the attention of those who had already come down. They all gathered around, laughing and joking.

”Du Ping, did you run into a wolf? How’d your pants get torn off?”

”Hahaha, did Du Jun’s wife beat you up or something? But why would she tear your pants off?”

”I’m telling you, Du Ping, your own wife’s been gone for a month, right? Linzi is dense, but you still need to be careful, you know.”

These were village folk, mostly peers. Trading vulgar jokes upon meeting was commonplace, especially teasing between a man and his younger brother’s wife—that was this group’s favorite.

If someone suddenly became polite and formal with you, it meant your relationship wasn’t close enough, or you’d grown distant.

Du Ping, his face dark, waved dismissively at the laughing crowd. ”All of you, piss off.”

Words were said, laughter was had, but not a single one of them made to leave.

They knew that for getting someone down the mountain, more people weren’t necessarily helpful; it was actually simpler to just drag the person down along the grassy slopes.

But now that she was here, at the foot of the mountain, they couldn’t just keep dragging her home. They had to find a way to carry or haul her back.

And they were well aware of Du Jun’s wife’s tonnage. Whether carrying her or loading her onto a tricycle to pull her back, it wasn’t a job for just one or two, or even three or four people.

So the group gathered in a circle, laughing and chatting, and started smoking, waiting for the police officers who were still up the mountain to bring the person out.

Du Jun and his father stood off to the side, and none of the searchers spoke to them. The father and son, however, didn’t seem anxious either.

By now, the news that Du Ping had found the person had spread. Seeing Du Ping emerge, Du Jun had no choice but to step forward and feign concern. ”Big Bro, you found my wife?”

Du Ping had just lit his cigarette. After taking a drag, he gave Du Jun a cool glance and grunted an ”Mm” that seemed to come from nowhere.

”Big Bro, is she alright?”

Without turning his head, Du Ping said, ”Go up the mountain and see for yourself.”

Uh...

Du Jun, having been snubbed, felt terribly awkward. Although none of them were looking directly at him, he just felt that the smirks on their lips were meant for him and his father.

Moreover, this group was too much; not a single one of them spoke to him, which made him even more embarrassed.

Helpless, to lessen the awkwardness, Du Jun glanced back at his father, then turned and started walking back up the mountain. Yet, even then, still no one spoke.

Everyone just kept smoking, maintaining those earlier smiles, their gazes following him.

Just then, the village head spoke up, ”Li Hai, you make a trip back. Du Jun’s wife is too heavy; I reckon we won’t be able to carry her down. Go back and get your tricycle. While you’re at it, bring that door panel from beside your sheep pen.

That door panel is quite thick; it should be able to hold Du Jun’s wife. Later, we’ll use the door panel to carry Du Jun’s wife down to the motorable road below and then haul her back.”