My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1336: Chapter 1165: Surging Waves

No one in the world doesn’t love their own money, and even more so, no one is unwilling to get what they deserve. People always want to ask for more and more. Everyone has walked so many roads, and when you finally reach the end, what you want is so ordinary.

Perhaps ordinary life should be treated in such a plain manner. My own life has become cumbersome due to my many powerless demands, making my life more complex.

”It turns out you always thought I was with you for money. You don’t understand me. What I truly want isn’t that. I just want to live with the man I love the most. When I achieve my ideal goal, to marry the man I love, I will realize that I am content with my life!

But in your eyes, maybe you don’t even know or think it’s a big deal. Yet, to me, it’s a matter of great importance. I can endure you ignoring me repeatedly, I can endure your repeated suspicion, I can endure you never being by my side when I need you, but I cannot endure you wronging me again and again, not even giving me the basic trust.

Over the years, in the eyes of outsiders, everyone thinks we are a loving couple, but the truth is, how have you really treated me? Do you not know yourself?

No matter how I try to please you, you always dismissively smile at me. Do you know? Sometimes it really hurts, and I feel so defeated. Why do I sincerely treat the one I love, yet this is the result? Why does the one I truly love never say he loves me?

I can no longer distinguish between truth and lies, but I really don’t want much. Just consider it a plea: don’t repeatedly strip away my right to happiness. I just want to be with you. I’ve changed so much for you, only to find that no matter how I change, I can never match up to you. You’re always a bit above me because your education is different from mine, your background is different, everything about you is different—ideals, values, perspectives, all different. Do you know?

It’s because of these differences that I follow your path. Being with you, I slowly change my worldview to align with yours. Your values are different from mine, and I try to adjust to them.

Is all this really so trivial in your eyes?

Do you think that I’m just born to be demeaned and should be treated this way? You were born to be placed on a pedestal, so I, as your wife, must always be beneath your feet, never to rise?

Yichen, I now have no way to be sure of how you think about us. Your indifference is driving me to the brink of collapse. I don’t know what I should do or what attitude I should use to face you. Clearly, many things aren’t my fault, but for the sake of your so-called dignity and to make you happy, I choose to bow my head and admit fault over and over again. But in the end, no matter how weak I am, you’ll never care about my feelings. Why is what I want so difficult?

When I ask you questions again and again, you always think about avoiding them. When we encounter troubles, and I want to clarify them thoroughly, you choose to blame me without distinguishing right from wrong. Do you really trust me?

Do you truly consider me as part of your family in your heart?

On the day you confessed to me, during those years you genuinely cared for me, I regarded you as family. Yet you treated me as a tool for your use.”

”I never saw you as a tool for my use. I only wanted you to stay at home peacefully and not run around aimlessly. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but your past mistakes make it hard for me to trust you. I’m also afraid, afraid that the past will replay itself, which I can’t bear. Why?

You’ve hurt me so many times, do you now know how it feels not to be trusted?”

”When I was with you, I told you all the truth wholeheartedly. My trust in you was complete. I never doubted you, but you never believed me. Maybe you think I am lowly because everything has to go according to your wishes.

Clearly, many things aren’t my fault, so why do I have to take all the blame for your happiness?

I have repeatedly thought long and hard but can’t find a suitable conclusion. Then I finally realized that everything I do is because I love you, yet this is the outcome. Do you really know me? You always thought I was with you for Xiao Jing, wealth, and status. There are so many people in this world, so many wealthy people who can give me their complete trust. So why did I choose to stay with you? Because I believe that one day my changes will warm your heart that has grown cold because of me.”

”I remember you once said your heart was dead, and it could never love again, yet you ended up with me. I don’t know if you’re with me to torment or use me?

Why treat me this way? Why not give me a stable life? Why repeatedly distrust me? To you, it may seem like nothing, but to me, it’s a fatal pain...”

”Zhihan, some things are already in the past, so let’s not bring them up again. Isn’t it great that you’re living a stable life now? Why provoke those people from your past, knowing they have bad intentions? Why are you doing this? You’re clearly testing my patience.

My patience is limited; I can’t endlessly tolerate and love you unconditionally. I just want you to be well. If you truly, wholeheartedly, are with me, with no one else in your heart, then maybe, for me, I wouldn’t need anything else!”

”It’s too late for you to say this now. Since you’ve wronged me without knowing the truth, you haven’t even apologized. Why should I forgive you now?

Actually, I really want to ask you, on what basis do you wrongly accuse me without evidence in your heart? What do you take me for? Why should you be so proud even after making mistakes and wrongfully accusing others, not even offering an apology? Do you think you have the right just because you have money?”

”The world’s favorite phrases seem to be ’if’ and ’back then’, but how many ’ifs’ and ’back then’ are there in this world?

Living your life and finding the person you love the most should be what’s most important, right!”