My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1315: Chapter 1144: Everyone Is a Lucky One

”Yichen, there are certain things you might not understand now, or cannot comprehend yet. When you truly experience them, at the moment of all the pain, perhaps you will realize how important you are to the people in Chongqing. Do you know? Although your mom has done those things time and again, deep down she still cares about you very much.

Everyone thinks your mom is a girl full of scheming, but who knows she is actually quite naïve. She can laugh joyfully because of one thing and cry bitterly because of another. Yet, she hides all her suffering inside, never expressing it to anyone, what she desires is only to show others her strongest side.”

Dad shares some thoughts with you.

Xia Jing couldn’t help but laugh heartily; she knows that in this man’s eyes, no matter how big a mistake she makes, she is always perfect in his view. It is precisely because of this that she acts more recklessly, never thinking to admit her mistakes or change her ways. But today she understands that no matter how proud a woman she was, she must now comprehend what virtues she should possess. As a woman, she should know what needs to be done, her responsibilities as a wife, and her attitude as a mother. She realizes everything is now past, there’s no way to return to what once was, but she still wants to fulfill her responsibilities as a mother. She knows that over the years she hasn’t owed anyone anything except her greatest debt to her son.

If she hadn’t left him back then, why would she work so hard to prove that he is the strongest person?

If it wasn’t for her cruel decision to leave home for freedom back then, how would he face every challenge so severely, and walk every path so burdensomely?

If it wasn’t for pursuing her own desires, how could she have committed such an unforgivable sin that no one can forgive her, yet she still acts as if nothing happened?

”Zhentian, thank you for your love these years. I’ve seen it all; because of you, my life has always been colorful.”

But I have to admit, on the day you abandoned me, my once vibrant world suddenly dimmed, and I felt the sky had collapsed with no one by my side to stay with me. Do you know? At that moment, I felt so helpless, wanting to cry, but I couldn’t. I understood I was the leader of mercenaries, and I had to live strongly. I wanted everyone to know that even after being abandoned, one must not cry. Since being abandoned, one must make oneself strong, and make the one who abandoned them regret their decision is the proper affair.

I am aware of the depth of your love for me over the years, a love that reaches into the marrow. Initially, I didn’t truly love you from my heart; I just wanted your money, to toy with your emotions. But gradually, I found your love was so deep and pure, I became a little ethically uneasy, and eventually, I started to fall deeply in love with you, until later I could not pull myself away, becoming deeply engrossed. I realized that I would be completely ruined on you in this life; because I can no longer leave you, I regard you as more important than my own life, I can’t let you leave my side, once you leave me, I will be worse than dead.”

Being with you truly makes me happy, but you just said that marrying me is the greatest fortune of your life, you have never regretted marrying me, but I still want to tell you, marrying me is not your fortune but your greatest mistake. I once thought of many ways to confess everything to you, but never knew where to start. Today is really a good chance, let me confess all my inner thoughts to you!

In the past, every day I lived in fear, worrying that you would find out the truth, that I was not with you because I truly loved you, but used you. At that moment, I was indeed a bit concerned, because I feared you would leave me once you knew the truth, but later I understood that our love cannot last long because you cannot stand my lies. I know that to cover up a small lie, another ten lies must be created, and when lies follow behind each lie, it only becomes a monumental falsehood which can never be remedied! However, I am grateful you treated me as your most important woman, you know? That feels so blissful, each day lying in your arms was carefree, until losing you did I comprehend what reality is, with heart-wrenching pain. At that moment, I understood how distressing abandonment is, and at that moment I realized how sad my father and son felt when they were abandoned. Their feelings echoed my own, then I understood, I must repay my son and father, letting them live in love’s embrace.”

Zhang Zhentian never thought that his wife initially married him not for love, but to use him. When he heard this news, it was hard for him to accept. Why would the woman he loves so deeply just use him initially? So, in this woman’s eyes, is he really that worthless? Is he truly not worth her care, concern, and love?

He thought and thought, his heart truly struggled. He didn’t know how to respond to each word his wife said, should he pretend indifference and say it’s okay, it doesn’t matter, I don’t blame you? But he couldn’t do it, his heart was truly aching, why would this woman he loves treat him that way?

In the end, he spoke.

”Saying I don’t mind this matter is impossible, and I can’t pretend to generously say it’s alright, it’s not your fault, but what should I say? Say I really hate you? But I can’t, because you are the woman I love most deeply. Saying I don’t hate you would also be impossible; you once spared no cost to be with me to use me, which really leaves me bewildered. You, the woman I love so deeply, how could you bear to harm me who loves you so deeply? Do you think so little of my love for you? Do you really think all my emotions for you were just a farce? How deeply I love you, you don’t know? Must you push me step by step to the brink until you’re satisfied, appeased?”

Xia Jing shook her head, never imagining she’d push Zhang Zhentian to such extremes; she just hadn’t thought that she would end up falling for the man before her, initially just playing along, wanting to manipulate his emotions at her whim, yet ultimately she couldn’t escape deeply falling for him.

”Hearing these words, did you ever imagine your mother would have such an innocent side? Actually, you know? Everyone can be a lucky child; everyone can be fortunate, but it depends on the decisions you make and the rewards it brings. Not every fortunate experience deserves a wholehearted commitment from others.”