Rebirth 1991: Keep the Fame, I'll Take the Royalties

The Dusty Headquarters

The afternoon sun of autumn in Los Angeles slanted through the high, dirty windows of the Sunset Boulevard warehouse, illuminating a swirling, chaotic vortex of pulverized drywall and concrete dust.

Inside the massive twenty-thousand-square-foot space, the air quality remained firmly categorized as a biological hazard. Sparks showered down from a scissor lift where a welder was attaching a steel crossbeam. The deafening, staccato roar of a jackhammer vibrated up through the soles of Paul Rudd’s shoes.

Paul was currently sitting on a stack of unopened acoustic insulation panels, wearing his cheap plastic safety goggles and a bandana tied tightly over his mouth. He looked like an apocalyptic survivor who had given up all hope of rescue.

Next to him, Charlize Theron sat on an overturned, paint-splattered bucket. She was wearing her oversized denim jacket, seemingly immune to the dust, casually filing her nails with an emery board she had found in the glove compartment of the rusted Honda Civic.

”I cannot breathe, Charlize,” Paul wheezed, his voice muffled by the bandana. ”I am inhaling the 1980s. The asbestos is probably forming a solid crystal in my left lung right now.”

”Stop whining, Paul. It builds character,” Charlize said, not looking up from her nails. ”Besides, Elias says the new HVAC system will be operational by next Tuesday. Until then, just take shallower breaths.”

Before Paul could argue the medical impossibility of surviving a week on shallow breaths, the heavy, rusted metal doors at the front of the warehouse creaked open.

A figure stepped into the dusty gloom, hesitating on the threshold.

He was wearing a faded t-shirt, board shorts, and a pair of beat-up sneakers. He had a crooked nose, a mop of messy blonde hair, and an expression of profound, relaxed confusion that seemed permanently etched into his features.

It was Owen Wilson.

In the fall of 1991, Owen hadn’t yet achieved the global comedic fame he would later secure. He was just a struggling, incredibly laid-back actor who had recently met Paul at a notoriously depressing open casting call for a hemorrhoid cream commercial.

Owen squinted through the dust cloud, trying to locate the source of human life.

”Wow,” Owen drawled, his voice carrying a slow, mellow cadence that contrasted violently with the aggressive noise of the construction zone. He took a hesitant step inside, waving a hand in front of his face. ”Hey, man. Paul? You in here? This place is, like, incredibly intense. It feels like a war zone, but without the geopolitical context, you know?”

Paul scrambled off the insulation panels, yanking his bandana down. ”Owen! Over here! Watch out for the exposed wiring on your left!”

Owen ambled over, looking at Paul’s safety goggles and dust-covered suit. He let out a low, bewildered chuckle. ”Man, when you called and said you got a job as an Executive Assistant at a new media conglomerate on Sunset Boulevard, I thought you meant, like, an office with walls. And maybe a water cooler. Why are you guys hanging out in a demolition derby?”

”Elias, kawan... tempat ini terlihat seperti lokasi syuting film pasca-apokaliptik,” Owen added, looking around the cavernous space with chill confusion. (Elias, man... this place looks like a post-apocalyptic movie set.) ”Kenapa kita berkantor di reruntuhan?” (Why are we officing in ruins?)

A smooth, chilling baritone voice answered before Paul could speak.

”Ini namanya arsitektur transisional, Owen,” Elias van Kempen stated, stepping out from behind a newly erected steel support pillar. (This is called transitional architecture, Owen.)

Elias wasn’t wearing safety goggles. He wore his vintage leather jacket with the impeccable posture of a runway model, his dark, exotic eyes locking onto Owen.

”Kemewahan sejati dimulai dari tumpukan beton retak sebelum diubah menjadi brankas uang,” Elias smiled, a dark, utterly shameless expression. (True luxury begins from a pile of cracked concrete before it is turned into a money vault.)

Owen blinked, leaning back slightly. He looked at the incredibly handsome, terrifyingly serious sixteen-year-old boy.

”Wow,” Owen murmured, pointing a finger at Elias. ”That is... that is a very intense vibe, man. You talk like a guy who just bought a country. Or a really aggressive bank.”

”I am the Managing Partner of Sovereign Media,” Elias said, adjusting his cuffs. ”And you are standing in the future lobby of a global entertainment monopoly. Welcome.”

”Right. Cool. The monopoly,” Owen nodded slowly, still trying to process the sheer density of Elias’s aura. He looked at Paul. ”So, do you guys, like, get dental insurance with the apocalyptic architecture, or is that extra?”

Before Paul could answer, the heavy thud of work boots echoed across the concrete floor.

Frank, the burly commercial contractor, marched toward them. He was holding his heavy clipboard, a look of strained, forced confidence on his face. Ever since Elias had blackmailed him over the stolen Paramount Studios materials, Frank had been tiptoeing around the teenager like he was walking on a minefield.

”Mr. van Kempen,” Frank grunted, stopping a few feet away. ”The abatement team is finished with the second-floor mezzanine. We’re ready to start installing the executive glass partitions for your corner office today. The glass pallets just arrived off the truck. You wanted to do a walk-through before we mount the frames?”

Elias didn’t smile. He simply extended a hand. ”The manifest, Frank.”

Frank swallowed hard, handing over the clipboard. ”It’s all there, kid. Just like the blueprints. Seamless, floor-to-ceiling tempered panels.”

Elias looked at the printed manifest. The numbers looked correct. The supplier name was legitimate.

But Elias van Kempen did not trust printed paper. Paper could be forged. He needed to verify the physical asset.

”Show me the pallets,” Elias commanded.

Frank sighed, leading the group toward the back of the warehouse. Owen tagged along, whispering to Paul. ”Is he always this intense? He acts like he’s inspecting nuclear launch codes.”

”You have no idea,” Paul whispered back, a massive sweatdrop rolling down his temple. ”If Frank bought the wrong brand of screws, Elias is going to legally destroy his entire bloodline.”

They arrived at a stack of heavy wooden crates resting near the rear loading dock. Inside the crates, packed tightly with protective foam, were massive panes of clear, industrial-grade glass.

Elias stood in front of the crates. He didn’t touch the glass. He simply stared at it.

He mentally engaged the digital loan shark. He needed structural verification.

[SYSTEM SHOP ACCESSED.][ACTIVATING: CORPORATE X-RAY SCAN][COST: -10 CP][CURRENT BALANCE: 35 CP]

[CHA-CHING!]

The retro, red-tinted grid snapped over Elias’s vision. It bypassed the wooden crates and the protective foam, scanning the molecular density of the glass panels themselves. The system calculated the thickness, the tensile strength, and the manufacturer specifications in a fraction of a second.

A block of neon-red text flashed urgently in the corner of his eye.

[SCAN COMPLETE. THREAT ANALYSIS: MATERIAL FRAUD DETECTED.][VULNERABILITY: THE INSTALLED GLASS PANELS ARE QUARTER-INCH COMMERCIAL GRADE. THE CONTRACT SPECIFICALLY MANDATED THREE-EIGHTHS-INCH, ACOUSTIC-RATED PREMIUM TEMPERED GLASS.][ESTIMATED EMBEZZLEMENT: THE CONTRACTOR IS POCKETING A $15,000 MARGIN DIFFERENTIAL ON THE DOWNGRADE.]

Elias’s eyes darkened into absolute, terrifying voids of sociopathic anger. The system overlay vanished.

He turned his head slowly, locking his gaze onto Frank.

Frank, sensing the sudden, catastrophic drop in the room’s temperature, took an involuntary step backward, clutching his clipboard like a shield.

”Is... is there a problem, Mr. van Kempen?” Frank stammered. ”Like I said, seamless panels. Top of the line.”

Elias didn’t yell. He didn’t curse. He deployed a whisper that carried the lethal weight of a corporate guillotine.

”Kau menganggapku bodoh, Frank,” Elias stated, stepping smoothly into the contractor’s personal space, completely dominating the burly man. (You think I am stupid, Frank.) ”Atau mungkin kau mengira mataku tidak bisa membedakan antara kaca akustik premium tiga perdelapan inci dan kaca komersial murahan seperempat inci yang baru saja kau turunkan dari trukmu.” (Or perhaps you think my eyes cannot distinguish between three-eighths-inch premium acoustic glass and the cheap, quarter-inch commercial glass you just unloaded from your truck.)

Frank froze. The blood drained entirely from his face. A massive, comical sweatdrop formed on his forehead, identical to the one he had sported during the Paramount blackmail incident.

How in the hell did the kid know the exact thickness of the glass without even touching a caliper?! It was impossible! The kid was a demon!

”I... I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Frank choked out, his voice cracking. ”The supplier must have sent the wrong batch! It’s an honest mistake!”

”It is a calculated fifteen-thousand-dollar margin theft,” Elias corrected flawlessly, crossing his arms. He didn’t break eye contact. ”You assumed that because Sovereign Media is a new entity, we lack the forensic oversight to audit your material drops. You intended to pocket the difference, mount the cheap glass, and rely on the fact that I wouldn’t notice the noise bleed from Sunset Boulevard until the escrow had closed.”

Owen Wilson, standing behind Elias, let out a low, drawn-out whistle. ”Wow. That is... that is some heavy analytical energy right there. He just x-rayed the glass with his mind, man.”

Charlize smirked, leaning against a support beam. ”I told you, Owen. He’s a monster.”

Elias ignored his entourage. He leaned closer to Frank.

”I am going to give you exactly two options, Frank,” Elias whispered, the threat absolute. ”Option one: I call my legal team. We halt the construction. I file a civil suit for breach of contract, and I report this deliberate material fraud to the state licensing board, thereby ensuring you never pull another commercial permit in Los Angeles County.”

Frank gulped loudly, looking around the warehouse as if looking for an escape route.

”Option two,” Elias continued smoothly, his voice a silken trap. ”You load this cheap, fragile garbage back onto your truck. You drive to a premium supplier. And you purchase the three-eighths-inch acoustic-rated glass that I specified in the blueprints. You will pay the premium out of your own pocket. You will not invoice me for a single cent of the difference. And you will have it installed by tomorrow morning.”

The silence in the loading dock was deafening.

Frank looked at the massive crates of glass. He looked at the terrifying teenager. If he went back to the supplier and bought the premium glass out of pocket, his profit margin on this entire job would be completely annihilated. He would essentially be working for free.

But if he refused, the kid would destroy his company.

With a profound, tragic groan of a man utterly defeated by sheer capitalist ruthlessness, Frank bowed his head.

”Option two,” Frank muttered, rubbing his temples in defeat. ”I’ll... I’ll get the premium glass. I’ll have the guys load this batch back up. You win, kid.”

”I am merely enforcing the contract, Frank,” Elias said, his voice entirely devoid of mercy. ”Do not attempt to test my vision again.”

Frank turned and walked away, his shoulders slumped, shouting dejectedly at his crew to stop the installation.

Elias watched him leave, feeling a deep, satisfying hum in his chest. He had just secured fifteen thousand dollars worth of premium upgrades for zero capital expenditure, simply by leveraging the threat of a lawsuit.

It was a beautiful morning.

However, the digital loan shark was not impressed by his savings. It only cared about its daily pound of flesh.

[CHA-CHING!][SYSTEM WARNING: DAILY MAINTENANCE FEE DEDUCTION INITIATED.][DEDUCTING -$50.00 USD FROM LIQUID CASH RESERVE.]

Elias’s jaw tightened imperceptibly. His liquid cash dropped to $414,910.00. The mechanical extortion was relentless, but the headquarters was finally taking shape.

He turned back to Paul and Owen.

Owen was staring at Elias with a mixture of absolute horror and deep, profound respect.

”Okay, man,” Owen drawled, scratching his head. ”I came here because Paul said you guys needed someone to help answer phones when the dust clears. But after watching you verbally dismantle that construction guy... I gotta ask. Are you guys, like, a legitimate talent agency, or is this some kind of highly organized crime syndicate?”

Elias offered Owen a slow, charismatic smile.

”We are Sovereign Media, Owen,” Elias stated smoothly. ”And we are currently expanding our roster. If you are willing to endure a temporary lack of air conditioning and a rigorous education in aggressive contract negotiation, I believe you have the exact, laid-back aesthetic required to balance the intense corporate anxiety of my Executive Assistant.”

Paul groaned loudly. ”I am not anxious! I am just highly aware of our legal liabilities!”

”So,” Elias continued, ignoring Paul. ”Do you want the job, Owen?”

Owen looked around the dusty, post-apocalyptic warehouse. He looked at the shattered drywall, the sparking wires, and the terrifying teenager in the vintage leather jacket.

”You know what?” Owen said, a slow, relaxed smile spreading across his face. ”Sure, man. Why not. It seems like a very chill environment.”

Elias nodded. The Brotherhood was expanding. The Phantom Agency was building its walls.

The era of The Pelican Motel was over. Sovereign Media was officially open for business.