Rebirth 1991: Keep the Fame, I'll Take the Royalties

The Escrow Guillotine

The morning after the Beverly Hills infiltration, Elias van Kempen stood on the sidewalk of Sunset Boulevard, staring at a padlock.

It was a heavy, industrial-grade padlock, completely securing the front gates of his newly purchased, twenty-thousand-square-foot warehouse.

Next to Elias, Frank the commercial contractor was leaning against the hood of his truck, looking thoroughly annoyed. Behind him, a crew of five men in hazmat suits were sitting on the curb, drinking coffee and getting paid by the hour to do absolutely nothing.

”I don’t know what to tell you, kid,” Frank grumbled, checking his watch. ”My guys are on the clock. We were supposed to start asbestos abatement at 7:00 AM. That padlock wasn’t there yesterday. The real estate agent locked us out.”

Paul Rudd paced nervously back and forth, clutching a manila folder filled with escrow documents. ”Why would Mark lock us out? Elias, you paid the one point two million in cash! The wire cleared! We own the building! This is highly illegal!”

”Legality is often paused during escrow, Paul,” Elias said smoothly, pulling a sleek, brick-sized cellular phone from his leather jacket.

As if on cue, the heavy phone rang.

Elias answered it, raising the antenna with a sharp flick of his wrist. ”Elias van Kempen.”

”Ah, the teenage tycoon,” Mark’s voice oozed through the speaker, dripping with condescension. The CBRE elite broker sounded far too smug for a man who had been threatened with a rusty nail infection just days prior. ”I assume you and your demolition crew are currently staring at a locked gate.”

”I am staring at an incursion on private property, Mark,” Elias replied, entirely deadpan. ”I recommend you arrive with the keys within the next ten minutes, or I will authorize Frank to remove the padlock with a plasma torch and deduct the cost from your brokerage firm.”

Mark laughed, a sharp, arrogant sound. ”You’re not cutting anything, kid. The property is still technically in escrow. We hit a snag. A ’clerical error’ regarding the zoning maintenance tariff and a sudden surge in closing fees. The city requires an additional fifty thousand dollars in premium service surcharges before I can legally hand over the keys.”

Paul, who was standing close enough to hear the tinny audio, gasped out loud. ”Fifty thousand dollars?! We don’t have fifty thousand dollars for fake fees! We’re liquidating!”

Elias silenced Paul with a single, chilling glare. He didn’t check his Liquid Cash balance. He already knew the math. He had roughly $415,000 left. He could pay the extortion fee. It would barely dent his operational budget.

But Elias van Kempen was a man who refused to pay for a taxi to a business meeting. He was certainly not going to pay a fake fifty-thousand-dollar premium to a man who wore too much hair gel.

”Kau pikir kau bisa mengambil alih properti Sunset tanpa membayar biaya ’pelayanan premium’ CBRE, Nak?” Mark taunted over the phone, his arrogance peaking. (You think you can take over a Sunset property without paying CBRE’s ’premium service’ fee, kid?) ”Kau masih berutang lima puluh ribu dolar padaku. Kabelkan uangnya ke rekening pribadiku siang ini, atau asbes itu akan tetap membusuk di sana sampai tahun depan.” (You still owe me fifty thousand dollars. Wire the money to my personal account this afternoon, or that asbestos is going to rot there until next year.)

”Do not leave your office, Mark,” Elias murmured, his voice dropping into a dark, silken baritone that completely lacked any trace of panic. ”I am coming to collect my keys.”

He hung up the phone.

”Frank,” Elias commanded, turning to the contractor. ”Keep your men on standby. We will have access in forty-five minutes.”

”Elias, what are we going to do?” Paul panicked, running a hand through his hair. ”We can’t fight CBRE! They’re the biggest commercial real estate firm in the world! They have armies of corporate lawyers!”

”We are not fighting CBRE, Paul. We are isolating a rogue parasite,” Elias stated, adjusting the lapels of his leather jacket. ”We are walking to their Century City headquarters.”

”Walking?!” Paul shrieked, pointing down the long, sweltering expanse of Sunset Boulevard. ”Elias, it’s five miles away! It’s ninety degrees outside! Let’s just take a cab!”

”A cab is an unnecessary capital expenditure,” Elias replied flawlessly, already walking down the sidewalk with long, purposeful strides. ”We will walk. It builds character.”

Thirty minutes later, the digital loan shark collected its daily toll, entirely unsympathetic to the Californian heat.

[CHA-CHING!][SYSTEM WARNING: DAILY MAINTENANCE FEE DEDUCTION INITIATED.][DEDUCTING -$50.00 USD FROM LIQUID CASH RESERVE.]

Paul was panting heavily, sweat pouring down his face as they finally entered the hyper-air-conditioned lobby of the CBRE high-rise in Century City. Elias, however, didn’t have a single drop of sweat on his brow. His Poverty Aesthetic was completely overridden by his sheer, sociopathic drive.

They bypassed the front desk entirely. Elias had memorized the floor plan from a directory map he had scanned weeks ago.

They stepped out of the elevator onto the executive floor. The suite was a masterpiece of corporate intimidation: glass walls, white marble floors, and sweeping views of the Los Angeles skyline.

Elias walked directly toward a massive glass conference room at the end of the hall.

Inside, Mark was standing at the head of a long mahogany table, gesturing grandly to a PowerPoint presentation. Seated around the table were three older men in expensive suits—likely a group of foreign investors looking to purchase a commercial high-rise.

Elias didn’t knock. He pushed the heavy glass door open.

”Excuse me,” Mark snapped, turning around, a highly irritated expression on his face. ”We are in the middle of a—”

Mark stopped dead. The blood drained from his face as he recognized the teenager standing in the doorway.

Elias stepped into the room, bringing the suffocating weight of his Playboy Alpha aura with him. Paul hovered nervously in the hallway, peeking through the glass.

”Mr. van Kempen,” Mark forced a tight, incredibly fake smile, glancing nervously at his wealthy clients. ”I told you on the phone, the escrow requires a final payment. This is highly inappropriate. We can discuss your... modest property... in my cubicle later.”

The foreign investors looked at Elias, clearly confused by the intrusion of a teenager in a vintage leather jacket.

Elias didn’t apologize. He didn’t look embarrassed. He mentally engaged the loan shark.

[SYSTEM SHOP ACCESSED.][ACTIVATING: TAWA KARISMATIK ANTI-CRINGE (ANTI-CRINGE CHARISMATIC LAUGH)][COST: -5 CP][CURRENT BALANCE: 5 CP - CRITICAL WARNING!]

[CHA-CHING!]

Elias threw his head back and laughed.

It wasn’t a forced, nervous chuckle. It was a rich, deep, effortlessly elegant sound that echoed beautifully off the glass walls. It was the laugh of a billionaire who had just heard an incredibly amusing joke at a country club. It completely shattered the tension in the room and instantly framed Mark as the punchline.

”Satu-satunya hal yang premium darimu adalah tingkat kebodohanmu, Mark,” Elias said, his voice carrying the smooth, lethal confidence of a corporate predator. (The only thing premium about you is your level of stupidity, Mark.)

The foreign investors leaned forward, suddenly entirely captivated by the teenager.

Mark turned bright red, a massive sweatdrop rolling down his slicked-back hair. ”Listen here, you little punk—”

”Aku telah menyisir catatan escrow menggunakan firma audit forensikku,” Elias interrupted, his voice raising slightly, turning the private extortion attempt into a public execution. (I have combed through the escrow records using my forensic audit firm.) ”Kau memalsukan biaya ’pelayanan premium’ sebesar lima puluh ribu dolar. Lebih buruk lagi, kau secara ilegal menyewakan lahan parkir dari properti kosongku kepada kru film independen selama enam bulan terakhir tanpa melaporkan pendapatannya ke kantor pusat CBRE.” (You falsified a fifty-thousand-dollar ’premium service’ fee. Worse, you have been illegally leasing the parking lot of my vacant property to independent film crews for the past six months without reporting the revenue to CBRE headquarters.)

The silence in the glass conference room was absolute.

The three foreign investors slowly turned their heads to look at Mark, their expressions shifting from polite interest to deep, clinical suspicion. A broker caught stealing from his own firm was not a broker you trusted with a hundred-million-dollar high-rise.

”That... that’s a lie!” Mark stammered, his hands shaking violently as he gripped the edge of the mahogany table. ”You have no proof! You’re just a kid!”

Elias didn’t blink. He used his Photographic Memory to recite the exact, damning details he had scanned off a stray clipboard in Mark’s car during their initial meeting.

”Invoice number 88-4A,” Elias recited smoothly, staring directly into Mark’s soul. ”Three thousand dollars, paid in cash by Silverlight Productions for a two-week parking lease in June. Deposited into your personal checking account at Wells Fargo. Account ending in 4492. Shall I recite the July invoices, Mark? Or would you prefer I wait for your managing director?”

As if summoned by the sheer volume of the Face-Slapping, the glass door to the adjacent corner office opened.

A tall, distinguished man in his sixties—the Managing Director of the CBRE branch—stepped out, looking highly alarmed. He had heard the entire exchange through the thin glass.

”Mark,” the Managing Director said, his voice cold and terrifyingly calm. ”Is this true? Are you extorting clients and running ghost leases on company properties?”

Mark looked at his boss. He looked at the horrified investors. He looked at the deadpan, unblinking eyes of Elias van Kempen.

The arrogant elite broker completely collapsed. He slumped against the table, a pathetic whimper escaping his throat. He reached into his suit jacket, his hands shaking uncontrollably, and pulled out a heavy ring of keys.

He didn’t hand them to Elias. He slid them across the mahogany table with the desperate energy of a man trying to defuse a bomb.

Elias didn’t lunge for them. He reached out and picked up the keys with slow, deliberate elegance.

”Serahkan kunci itu dalam tiga detik,” Elias murmured, pocketing the metal ring. (Hand over those keys in three seconds,) ”Atau aku akan meminta bosmu di ruangan sebelah untuk menghitung berapa banyak uang perusahaan yang kau curi tahun ini.” (Or I will ask your boss next door to calculate exactly how much company money you stole this year.)

Elias turned to the Managing Director, offering a polite, devastatingly charismatic nod. ”I suggest a thorough internal audit. Gentlemen. Enjoy your presentation.”

Elias walked out of the glass conference room, the air parting around him like water. Paul Rudd was waiting in the hallway, looking like he was about to pass out from sheer adrenaline.

”Did... did we get the keys?” Paul whispered as the elevator doors closed.

Elias pulled the heavy ring from his pocket and tossed it to Paul. ”Call Frank. Tell him to start the demolition.”

Deep in his cerebral cortex, the system applauded the sheer, violent efficiency of his capitalist hustle.

[CHA-CHING!][SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: THE ESCROW GUILLOTINE EXECUTED FLAWLESSLY!][EVALUATION: YOU UTILIZED PUBLIC HUMILIATION AND FORENSIC BLACKMAIL TO CRUSH A RETAIL EXTORTION ATTEMPT. YOUR REFUSAL TO PAY FOR A TAXI CAB IS DEEPLY DISTURBING, YET FINANCIALLY SOUND.][REWARD: +20 SHAMELESS POINTS (CP) DEPOSITED.]

Elias smiled. The operation was fully funded, the airwaves were secured, and the Queen of Pop was officially in play.

The Phantom Agency was no longer a ghost. It was an empire under construction.