Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

The moment Celeste rushed out of the cave, the very force of the contract she had pushed back into the mountain became the last straw.

BOOM—RUMBLE—!!!

As if a terrifying rift had been torn through the firmament, a deafening roar erupted from behind them. The entire towering snow mountain let out a final, dying wail.

Everyone spun around in horror, and a scene that shattered their entire understanding of the world left them collectively speechless.

The snow mountain wasn’t collapsing as they had expected.

It was tipping over.

It was as if an invisible, godlike hand had shoved it violently from the side. With the cave entrance as the dividing line, the main body of the mountain thundered down in the opposite direction, away from them.

Hundreds of millions of tons of massive rock, ancient glaciers, and packed snow merged into a white torrent that swallowed heaven and earth, roaring as it crashed into the empty, deathly silent valley on the other side.

“My God…” Baroque’s mouth hung open as he subconsciously muttered to himself. “The direction of the landslide… this is a miracle!”

Before he could finish, the awe on his face was replaced by a deeper, more primal fear, and his face instantly lost all color.

Although the main body of the mountain fell to the other side, the violent geological shift kicked up a shockwave like a towering tidal wave. Countless house-sized boulders and blocks of ice were hurled into the sky, forming a deadly canopy that blotted out the sun before smashing down toward the elven army.

“Defense! Everyone, construct defensive barriers!” the Royal Grand Mages, who had been waiting outside, shouted, immediately raising their staves as the meteor-like rain of boulders crashed down.

Ice Wall!

Earth Wall!

Arcane Barrier!

Hundreds of magical shields rose in layered succession, their light brilliant against the encroaching darkness. But in the face of that apocalyptic impact, they seemed terrifyingly flimsy.

Queen Elaniel, disregarding her own weakness, raised her staff again, forcibly squeezing out the last dregs of power left in her body.

In the aftermath of the landslide, despair once again began to shroud everyone.

Just then, a voice rang out. It was still calm, yet it carried a bone-deep exhaustion and a raspiness that made the heart of everyone who heard it tighten.

“What is the panic for?”

Celeste stood at the very front of the group, facing the incoming storm of rubble, and raised her hand once more.

Her arm trembled uncontrollably.

“It is merely some splashing rubble.”

“Solidify!”

That incredibly massive, translucent Jade Shield unfolded out of thin air once again. An inverted, warm golden bowl steadily enveloped the shivering crowd in the wind and snow.

The next second, doomsday arrived.

BOOM—!!!

Countless boulders and blocks of ice, each large enough to smash a city wall, bombarded the Jade Shield in a dense, unrelenting barrage. There was no deafening roar, only a continuous series of dull, heart-stopping impacts.

Outside the shield, heaven and earth collapsed, and all things were shredded.

Inside the shield, all was safe. Not a single flake of snow touched them.

The elves looked up at the indestructible golden “tortoise shell” above their heads, watching the terrifying scene outside that would have otherwise crushed them into pulp. They were collectively silenced. They even forgot to breathe.

When the last pebble slid powerlessly off the shield, the world returned to silence.

The massive Jade Shield flickered once, then turned into a sky full of golden light particles that slowly dissipated.

The very instant the shield disappeared, Celeste actively deactivated the “Zhongli Trial Card.” That majestic power, which originated from the depths of the earth, receded like a tide.

An extreme, soul-crushing exhaustion instantly swept through every inch of her flesh.

A muffled groan escaped Celeste’s throat, and her vision was swallowed by an endless darkness. She felt as if the bones in her body had turned to mush, no longer able to support her own weight. Her knees buckled, and she fell forward silently.

“Celeste!” Selene screamed, her entire being blurring into an afterimage.

She caught Celeste in her arms just before she hit the ground, using her own body to steady her sister.

“Feeling a bit tired… cough! I’m fine…” Celeste leaned into her younger sister’s warm embrace, her chest heaving violently as she greedily gulped down the cold air. Her tone had switched back from the regal cadence of Rex Lapis to her usual self.

She quickly glanced at the system panel, squeezing out a gratified smile that looked worse than crying.

[Zhongli Trial Card (Remaining: 23 hours, 41 minutes)]

‘Not bad, not bad. I saved a ton of time. This is what peak household management looks like. It really is up to me to be frugal.’

Just then, a new system prompt popped up.

[Ding! The Host’s actions and adherence to the concepts of “centering on contracts and fulfilling the duty of protection” have received high recognition from Rex Lapis.]

[Obtained Special Reward: “Immortal Family Breathing Technique”.]

[Immortal Family Breathing Technique: A basic cultivation technique taught by the Adepti of Liyue to their disciples. It can gradually improve one’s constitution and lay the foundation for further cultivation of immortal arts.]

Celeste was stunned for a second, then became utterly delighted.

‘Heh, now that’s my god! Look at the Lord of Geo, so damn reliable! His reward is an actual immortal cultivation technique! Truly the Ancestor of the Adepti!”And then you look at that drunkard from Mondstadt. What did he give me? “Overtones”! When there’s a problem, it can solve the problem. When there’s no problem, it is the problem! It makes me terrified to even use my skills! The difference in quality is just staggering!’

“Sis! You can still laugh?! Are you okay?!” Selene slapped her on the back in annoyance, her voice full of lingering fear and a heartache that was about to break into tears. “I almost crushed the life-saving talisman just now!”

“Cough, cough… Stay calm. Standard procedure,” Celeste patted her sister’s hand, trying to act composed, but ended up coughing violently because she was panting too hard.

“You… you still say that!” Selene’s eyes were red with a mixture of anger and overwhelming worry, but she suddenly caught the main point. “Wait! That landslide just now… you did that?! You controlled the mountain to fall that way, and even calculated the flying rocks just so you could block them with a shield?!”

“What do you mean ‘did it’?” Celeste argued righteously. “That was precise, directional demolition! It’s science! Understand? Professional matters should be left to the professionals.”

“Science my foot!” Selene roared back, but her voice immediately softened into a hurt whisper. “Couldn’t you have said something beforehand? Did you do it on purpose just to see me so scared my legs went weak?”

“Celeste!”

Su Wan and Xia Lian also rushed over. The always-composed Su Wan had lost her cool for the first time. She hurriedly pulled out a bottle of shimmering, clearly priceless recovery potion and clumsily brought it to Celeste’s lips.

“Celeste! Quick, drink this!”

Xia Lian squatted down without a word, placing her cool hand on Celeste’s forehead, the worry in her eyes almost overflowing.

Surrounded by the three of them, with one feeding her medicine and another checking her temperature, Celeste felt a wave of warmth spread through her heart.

‘Sigh, even though I’m tired as a dog, this feeling of being cared for is actually pretty nice.’

She looked up at the scene nearby. The elves, who were equally disheveled, were helping each other to their feet. Queen Elaniel’s wine-red eyes were locked firmly onto her, swirling with shock, lingering fear, concern, and… a hint of near-religious fervor that Celeste couldn’t quite understand.

Eldara wore a solemn expression, her brow furrowed, as if she were still reviewing that world-destroying yet precisely controlled scene from a purely tactical perspective.

Celeste withdrew her gaze, happily calculating the gains from the newly acquired immortal cultivation technique.

‘The Venti trial card feels like a slacking employee when I use it. It’s useful, sure, but it definitely doesn’t put in the effort.”This Zhongli trial card, on the other hand, is practically a model worker! From smashing the boss and supporting the mountain to directional demolition and post-disaster protection, it’s a full-service package. It’s so thorough I want to give him a five-star review and a commemorative banner!”As expected, Geo Daddy is the best to his own people!’

She marveled, feeling that although the previous battle had been perilous, the harvest was also immense.

Just then, the delayed notification sounds in her mind finally began to scroll like a waterfall.

[Ding! Your team has slain the Domain’s final core, the ‘Greed Aggregate’!]

[Ding! You have successfully purified the large-scale Domain ‘Shattered Covenant’!]

[Ding! You have gained Experience Points: 1000!]

A faint warm current flowed into her body, slightly alleviating her fatigue. Immediately following, the next prompt lifted her spirits.

[Ding! Detected that the Host has perfectly resolved the core crisis of the large-scale Domain “Shattered Covenant” in an “overwhelming” manner, and triggered a “stunning” miraculous scene with a “textbook-level” directional demolition technique, causing severe mental shock to all story characters present. Elation Coins +6666!]

Celeste almost laughed out loud.

‘Not bad, not bad! 6666! This system really gets it!’

Before she could finish celebrating, the main event arrived.

[Ding! You have perfectly purified a large-scale Domain under hard mode in an extremely stubborn manner, obtaining the hidden achievement “An Attack that is…”. Drawing special reward…]

The seven-colored light she had only seen once before reappeared in her mind’s eye!

[Congratulations on obtaining the off-hand equipment: “as i have written (Quality:???)”!]

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]