Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

The Vortex Vanquisher had fulfilled its mission. The magnificent golden spear, having pierced through reality itself, began to crumble inch by inch, dissolving into a sky full of shimmering, ethereal fragments.

On the ground below, the goblin king Girousse’s corpse lay flat on its back. The perfectly circular hole bored through his chest was a stark declaration that his life had been utterly extinguished.

With his death, the viscous, filthy mental field that had saturated the cave receded like a monstrous tide, its oppressive weight lifting from the minds of all present.

“Roar… Huh?”

On another part of the battlefield, the Frost Troll Korlak’s heavy club, which had been swinging down in a brutal arc, froze abruptly in mid-air. The creature stared down at its own frost-caked, gigantic hands, then lifted its gaze to the murderous death knight, Eldara, who stood opposite.

The frantic, blood-red haze in its eyes faded, replaced by a clear yet deeply foolish confusion.

‘Who am I?”Where am I?”Why am I fighting this terrifying elf lady who reeks of the grave?’

Before the three great philosophical questions could even begin to form an answer in its simple brain, Eldara’s longsword, wreathed in shimmering Death Runes, had already carved a cold, merciless arc through the air.

The troll’s head, having only just regained its senses, flew high into the air, its face a mask of “I don’t want to die” terror.

On the other side of the cavern, the yeti leader Noinam also snapped back to consciousness. It blinked, looking at the paladin across from it who was bellowing about “divine grace,” then glanced at the elven mages who were pouring a constant stream of firepower in its direction. An instinctive, primal fear of high temperatures surged through its heart.

It was no longer a mindless puppet, unafraid of death. It was a creature of ice and snow that now wanted nothing more than to find a frozen cave to crawl into and cool off.

“Awoo—!”

The yeti let out a shrill, panicked scream, dropped its weapon with a resounding clang, and turned to flee. However, its mountain-like body was far too clumsy. A moment later, a brilliant golden blade pierced accurately through its back, shattering the dark, corrupted core within. Paladin Baroque’s Sword of Judgment had found its mark.

As for the endless army of monsters, they collapsed into complete chaos the moment their “king” perished. They no longer charged the elven lines in a coordinated wave. Instead, they spun around like headless flies, screeching in confusion and even turning on one another in their mindless panic.

The elven army seized the opportunity, their counter-attack swift and decisive. The desperate battle instantly became a one-sided slaughter.

“We won!”

“Praise Her Majesty the Queen! Praise that… that God!”

The elves who had survived the brutal ordeal embraced each other, their exhausted but triumphant cheers echoing through the vast cavern.

Yet, the four who had been the greatest contributors to this victory—Celeste, Selene, Su Wan, and Xia Lian—were now gathered around the goblin’s corpse. Their expressions were a mixture of confusion and concern, with not a hint of celebratory joy to be seen.

“Sis, what’s going on?” Selene poked Girousse’s body with the tip of her sword, her face a mask of puzzlement. “The boss is dead. Why haven’t we gotten the notification for the Domain’s purification?”

“It’s very strange,” Su Wan said, her sharp gaze sweeping over the corpse and the surrounding area. “With the secret realm’s core destroyed, the spatial fluctuations should have weakened immediately. But there’s been no change at all.”

Xia Lian also added softly, “Besides, during the college entrance exam, I was teleported out the moment the core was purified.”

Celeste remained silent, her eyes narrowed as she stared down at Girousse’s corpse, a probing light in her gaze.

‘Strange things happen every year, but this year’s been a real trip,’she thought, her internal monologue running at a mile a minute.’During the entrance exam, I just cast a basic Healing Spell on Farina, and she was somehow “purified.” This time, I literally summoned Lord Zhongli to deliver a dose of physical salvation with a single spear, and what happens? The boss is dead, I got the EXP, but the quest isn’t finished? What gives?”Could it be… that purifying this thing has some hidden prerequisite? Or maybe you have to finish it off with a Holy Light attribute for it to count? Is this some kind of weird class-specific quest flag?’

Grumbling internally, she decided to put her theory to the test. “Let me try something.”

Celeste reached out her hand. A soft, gentle Holy Light began to glow in her palm as she cast a Healing Spell on Girousse’s corpse.

A warm, pinkish light fell upon the dead goblin.

The expected system notification for “Purification Complete” did not sound.

Instead, the mangled flesh within the bloody hole in the corpse’s chest actually began to squirm, showing faint, horrifying signs of knitting itself back together.

“Holy crap!” Celeste snatched her hand back as if she’d been electrocuted.

‘What the hell is going on?!’she screamed in her head.’Am I desecrating a corpse or trying to resurrect him?!’

“Sis, what are you doing?” Selene stared at her in horror. “Are you trying to bring him back to life so we can fight him again?”

“Just testing the purification mechanism…” Celeste scratched her head, a flush of awkwardness creeping up her neck. “It seems the Holy Light healing route is a no-go.”

“Then try something else?”

She pondered for a moment, then reached out again toward the corpse and unleashed a skill she had… modified.

“Cleansing Spell!”

A ball of cherry-blossom pink light shot out and plastered itself accurately onto Girousse’s green face, which was still faintly marked with the imprint of Selene’s shield.

A light flashed.

Girousse’s corpse instantly became spotless. Even the holes and tears in his clothes were repaired, making them look brand new. His originally dirty, oily face was now so clean it practically reflected the cavern light.

Even his few, messy tufts of hair were dyed a bright, garish cherry-blossom pink and carefully combed into a handsome, if utterly ridiculous, middle-part hairstyle.

Selene: “…”

Su Wan: “…”

Xia Lian silently took half a step back and covered her eyes with her hand, feeling as though her very sense of aesthetics had just suffered a devastating, soul-crushing blow.

Celeste studied the “carefully groomed” face of the deceased, and even her own face couldn’t help but twitch.

‘Well, there’s no purification effect, but the insult factor is definitely maxed out.”This doesn’t work, that doesn’t work—what exactly am I supposed to do? Do I really have to grind his bones to dust and scatter his ashes to the four winds?’

Just as she was at her wit’s end, Elaniel and Eldara walked over. Her Majesty the Queen’s face was still a bit pale, but she was able to move freely after a short recovery.

She looked at the four young women worrying over a pink-haired, middle-parted goblin corpse and asked with genuine curiosity, “Miss Celeste, what are you all doing? Is the battle not yet over?”

“Your Majesty, we have a small problem,” Celeste said, spreading her hands helplessly. “Although this guy is dead, it seems… he hasn’t been truly ‘purified’ yet. The crisis of the World Merging hasn’t been resolved.”

“Not purified?” Elaniel’s elegant, willow-like brows furrowed slightly. She extended a slender finger, and a wisp of pure silver light flowed from her fingertip, landing gently on Girousse’s corpse.

As the glow swept over the body, Elaniel’s expression suddenly changed.

“No… inside this body… it’s empty.”

“Empty?” Celeste was stunned.

“Yes.” Elaniel’s expression became incredibly solemn. “I can feel that inside his body, only the most basic residues of life energy remain. That massive, filthy, and chaotic soul… is gone.”

The soul is gone?

Celeste’s heart skipped a beat.

‘A golden cicada shedding its skin? A classic escape tactic.’

But the system had clearly shown a kill notification! It even gave her the experience points!

Just as everyone was completely baffled by this turn of events, a sudden, horrifying change occurred.

The clean, handsomely styled corpse on the ground began to twitch violently without any warning!

“Watch out!” Eldara immediately shielded the queen behind her, her hand gripping her silver greatsword once more.

Celeste and the other three also instantly snapped into battle stances.

Girousse’s corpse began to swell and deform in a twisted, abnormal manner. His newly repaired tailcoat was torn to shreds by his bulging, expanding muscles. Beneath the skin, a bone-chilling display of cracking and restructuring echoed through the silent cavern.

It was as if some kind of living thing was frantically proliferating and reconstructing within, threatening to burst through the flesh and crawl out at any second.

Looking at this scene straight out of a cosmic horror movie, Selene furrowed her brows in disgust and gripped her shield tighter.

In the next moment, a mass of thick, ink-like black mist violently gushed out from the seven orifices of Girousse’s corpse—his eyes, ears, nostrils, and mouth. It completely swallowed him whole in an instant.

From within the roiling black mist came scalp-numbing sounds of frenzied gnawing and the wet, slithering slide of mucus.

Everyone subconsciously retreated, warily staring at the churning, expanding mass of blackness.

“Is this guy ever going to end?” Selene lowered her body into a standard defensive stance, her voice dripping with disdain. “Can’t he just die cleanly for once?”

“It looks like it’s not over.” Frigid air had already begun to condense around Su Wan’s fingertips. “I have a… very bad feeling.”

“Isn’t it normal for a boss to have a second phase?” Celeste remarked with preternatural calm, though her gaze was sharp enough to pierce stone, fixed intently on the black mist.

The dark mass churned for a full ten seconds before it slowly began to settle. Like a filthy, tattered curtain, the black mist slowly parted to both sides.

A brand new, twisted, and massive silhouette appeared before everyone’s eyes.

The moment they saw that thing, everyone present, including the battle-hardened Elven Knights who had faced down death a hundred times, forgot how to breathe.

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]