Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

This time, there was no dreamy, pink-and-blue halo. Nor was there a burst of crimson sparks.

This was a light of primordial gold and obsidian, pure to its very core, a color that symbolized the earth and the unshakeable weight of contracts.

The light soared toward the cavern ceiling, yet it wasn’t the least bit dazzling. Its texture was solid and heavy, like the spine of an ancient mountain range; its luster was warm and gentle, like a piece of flawless, unpolished jade.

The giant holographic screen, which had just gone dark, flared to life again without warning.

This time, the display was no longer a cheerful idol’s stage, but an ancient and elegant harbor basking in the twilight. Majestic, grand, and archaic music swelled through the cavern. A distant bell tolled, opening the gates of time and space, its chime echoing from the dawn of creation to shake the very soul.

A line of flowing, gold-leaf characters slowly materialized in the center of the screen.

[The Millelith stands firm, the mountains unyielding.]

In the animation, a 2D version of Celeste, now dressed in a magnificent robe of interwoven brown, black, and gold, stood by a railing, overlooking the bustling life of the harbor below.

Her voice, now deep and distant, seemed to span the ages.

“I am now but a humble citizen of Liyue. If the world is to be without its gods, then this shall be a kingdom ruled by humanity…”

Before her voice could fade, the primordial golden light in the cavern had completely enveloped the real Celeste. The simple priestess robe she wore instantly decomposed, its threads reshaping themselves into something new.

A perfectly tailored, dark gold robe, radiating supreme majesty from within its elegant cut, took its place. The hem and cuffs were embroidered with ancient, complex cloud patterns that shimmered with a restrained glow as the energy of the Geo element flowed around her. Her pink hair danced as if caught in an unfelt wind, the tips dyed with a brilliant, molten-gold luster. Her once-delicate face now possessed sharper, more defined contours, suffused with an air of indifference and the divine majesty of a being that looked down upon all of creation.

However, Celeste had only just begun to get a feel for her new look when her brow furrowed.

‘Holy crap, this outfit… the chest is way too tight!’she thought, her internal voice a stark contrast to her regal appearance.’Lord of Geo, old man, didn’t you consider the needs of your female customers when you designed this thing?! You’re about to flatten these majestic mountains into a plain!’[Ding! The Host has been detected fulfilling the contract of’Roleplay’…]

[Detected that the Host’s ideological core, background, and personal values are highly consistent with the culture of Liyue…]

[Morax has cast a glance of approval. The terms of the contract have been updated!]

[The quality of the “Zhongli Trial Card” has been upgraded! You will temporarily gain 1% of the true power of Rex Lapis, Morax, for the duration of its use!]

Following the system prompt, the rigid lines of the majestic male robe suddenly softened. The fabric at her chest expanded slightly, the waistline cinched in, and a tasteful slit appeared at the side of the hem to allow for greater freedom of movement. In an instant, it transformed from a standard set of men’s formalwear into a divine, heroic ensemble perfectly fitted to her female form, blending majesty with valor.

Deep within Celeste’s consciousness, it felt as though an ancient mountain range that had slept for billions of years had suddenly awoken.

‘Holy crap! So that’s how it works!’she realized with a jolt.’No wonder the Venti trial card felt strong but was always missing something! I was only channeling the loafing poet ‘Venti,’not the Anemo Archon’Barbatos’!”This time is different! This is an official endorsement from the Lord of Geo himself! Who knew having a cultural identity from my hometown came with this kind of buff?!’

If the previous “Klee” was a walking powder keg and “Barbara” was a healing idol on stage…

Then at this moment, she was the incarnation of Order, Contract, and Protection.

The very atmosphere of the entire cave changed because of her presence. The frantic, chaotic energy in the air was forcibly smoothed out, suppressed by an invisible, heavy force. The distorted magical runes etched into the rock walls let out overwhelmed cracking sounds under the immense pressure, their light rapidly dimming. The stench of blood and slaughter that permeated the battlefield was wiped away by an unseen hand, replaced by a solemnity one would expect to find in a grand temple.

[Ding! The Host has used the legendary character card “Zhongli Trial Card.” The resulting aura has crushed the entire field, causing a psychological impact of ‘Rank Suppression’ on all story characters. Elation Coins +2333!]

“This… what kind of monster is this now?”

For the first time, an emotion called “fear” filled the goblin king Girousse’s beady little eyes. Before, Celeste was just a “dowry” in his eyes, a nuisance who could pull a few weird tricks. But at this moment, what he felt was absolute suppression, a crushing weight that originated from the very level of their existence.

It was the feeling of a scurrying mouse suddenly looking up to find a slumbering ancient dragon opening its golden pupils. The opponent didn’t even need to act. Its mere presence was enough to make his soul tremble.

“Sister…” Selene stared, utterly transfixed at her sister’s back, muttering to herself. “This form… I’ve seen it before, but… the feeling this time… it’s completely different!”

This time, she didn’t shout “So cool!” The word “cool” was far too shallow, utterly incapable of describing the feeling that washed over her. It was an impulse originating from the depths of her soul, a primal urge to prostrate herself and worship.

Su Wan and Xia Lian were also completely stunned. They had thought the “idol priestess” who had one-shot the Undead Legion Commander was Celeste’s ultimate trump card. They never expected that she was hiding an even more ridiculous “Heroic Spirit.”

The change in genre was too jarring! It was like the world had switched from a magical comedy straight to an epic myth.

Even Eldara and Baroque, locked in the middle of their fierce battle, felt this terrifying pressure that could suppress all things. Their movements couldn’t help but stall. Eldara was shocked by Celeste’s seemingly endless stream of trump cards. As for the paladin Baroque, feeling that pure, heavy force brimming with the concepts of Protection and Order, a trace of almost holy fanaticism ignited in his eyes.

This… this was the ultimate form of “protection”!

Queen Elaniel leaned heavily on her staff, her breathing weak and ragged. She gazed at the figure bathed in primordial golden light, and her wine-red eyes, which had dimmed from exhaustion, erupted with a brilliant, surprised light.

“So… is this what you look like when you’re serious, Miss Celeste?” she murmured. “Not a scatterbrained priestess, nor a cheerful idol… but a… deity who governs contracts and order?”

Celeste slowly raised a hand, feeling the majestic power coursing through her body—a power sufficient to move mountains and divert rivers.

‘Is this just 1% of Rex Lapis’s power? So strong! So stable! The entire world feels like a set of building blocks in my palm, ready to be used as I please! This feeling of absolute control is amazing!’

She turned her gaze toward the trembling goblin king. Her eyes no longer held the slightest hint of playfulness, only the divine indifference of a god looking down upon an ant.

Then, she raised her other hand, fingers spread wide, and suddenly clenched them into a fist aimed at the ground.

“Dominus Lapidis!”

A dull, thunderous boom shook everyone to their core. It was the heartbeat of the earth itself.

A huge stone pillar composed of pure Geo energy, its surface flowing with golden patterns, erupted from the ground directly behind Girousse. The stele appeared without any warning, violently thrusting the tattered remnants of the goblin’s “throne” high into the air.

Startled by the sudden upheaval, Girousse let out a strange cry, scrambling to hide behind the new structure.

But this was only the beginning.

With the appearance of the stone pillar, a golden wave of energy burst outward, centered on the new monolith. The wave possessed no destructive power whatsoever; it gently swept past every friendly unit on the battlefield. From Queen Elaniel to the front-line elven knights, then to Selene, Su Wan, Xia Lian, Eldara, and Baroque—everyone was lightly brushed by this golden energy.

The next second, a heavy shield composed of semi-transparent golden jade materialized around every single ally present. The shields were ancient in design, with faint dragon-scale patterns shifting across their surface, exuding an indestructible aura of peace.

The Jade Shield.

The very moment the shields formed, Girousse’s unwilling roar echoed through the cave again.

“Don’t think I’ll be afraid of you just because you changed your look! Die! Psychic Storm!”

He unleashed his mental power, turning it into an invisible tide that swept toward the three people closest to him—Selene and her friends.

However, when that Psychic Storm, powerful enough to twist a person’s very soul, slammed into the Jade Shields protecting the trio, it was like a gentle breeze passing over a ten-thousand-foot mountain. It vanished without so much as a ripple.

“What?!”

Girousse’s eyeballs nearly popped out of their sockets. His mental attack had failed again?! And this time, it was more ridiculous than ever before. Previously, his targets had only been immune to direct mental domination, but now, even an indiscriminate, area-of-effect psychic assault could be completely blocked?

On the other side of the battlefield, the elven soldiers who had been struggling to resist the corrosive after-effects of Girousse’s mental power suddenly felt a great weight lift from their minds. The invisible shackles that had been strangling their souls were completely severed the instant the Jade Shields formed.

They touched the golden shields protecting them, feeling that reassuring, heavy power. The faces of the elves were a mixture of wild joy and deep shock, the expressions of those who had narrowly survived a disaster.

“Is this… a miracle?” an elven mage muttered in disbelief.

With no reason to hold on any longer, Elaniel’s silver domain, which was already on the verge of collapse, could no longer be maintained. With a soft pop, it shattered like a mirror.

Elaniel groaned, her body going limp. No longer able to support herself, she began to fall.

“Your Majesty!” The surrounding guards turned pale with fright, rushing forward to support her.

But there was one figure who was faster than them all.

A golden light flashed and vanished.

Before the guards could even react, Celeste had already crossed the intervening space and appeared at Elaniel’s side. She extended her powerful arms and firmly caught the falling queen, pulling her into her embrace.

It was a flawless, dashingly handsome princess carry.

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]