Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

“All troops, charge!”

Eldara’s command was like a cold blade, instantly slicing through the dead silence that had fallen over the edge of the battlefield.

The moment the order was given, the spectral fire smoldering within the skull of the Skeleton Warhorse beneath her blazed to life, letting out a silent, soul-piercing roar. Pale flames ignited on its four hooves as it shot forward like a black arrow loosed from a bow, becoming the first to tear into the flank of the undead army.

Over a hundred Silent Watch Knights followed close behind, their movements a terrifying, unified whole.

Their charge lacked any devastating war cries; there was only the dense, rain-like clatter of the Skeleton Warhorses’ iron hooves crushing the scorched earth. The sound merged into a torrent of death, heralding the start of a grim harvest.

Ice-blue runes flickered to life one by one across their pitch-black armor. A bone-chilling cold swirled outward from the formation, so intense that it caused even the foul, corrupted air to condense into gray ice crystals.

Behind the knightly order, the elven rangers’ eyes glowed like torches in the gloom, and the mages wore expressions of deep concentration.

Swept up in this indomitable momentum, Celeste and her three companions, mixed into the infantry ranks, felt their hearts pound uncontrollably in their chests.

“Oh my god… The Commander’s knight order is just too badass!”

Selene’s eyes were shining with undisguised awe. She tightened her grip on her shield, feeling her blood heat to a near boil.

“Sister! Did you see the way they charge? That formation! That’s what a real knight order should look like!”

‘Okay, not gonna lie, that’s sick as hell,’Celeste conceded internally.’Compared to their epic-tier raid gear, Selene’s armor looks like a starter-zone tin can. It’s not even in the same league.’

Despite her agreement, she showed no mercy in her attempt to ground her star-struck sister. “Alright, stop fangirling. Keep up with the group and don’t fall behind, or you’ll get wiped out like a common mob.”

The undead army’s reaction was remarkably swift.

The grayish-white sea of bone immediately diverted its course, surging toward Eldara’s cavalry like a flood breaking through a dam. At the very front were Skeleton Soldiers wielding crude bone spears and rusted swords, the soul-fire in their hollow eye sockets flickering wildly with bloodthirsty desire.

However, these fodder units were as fragile as paper before the charge of the Silent Watch Knights.

Eldara led the vanguard, her runic magic sword not even drawn from its sheath. The Skeleton Warhorse beneath her crashed directly into the sea of skeletons. Every time its iron hooves, wreathed in spectral fire, came down, they crushed several skeletons into a fine spray of bone shards.

The knight order moved like a bolt of black lightning, precisely cutting into the heart of the undead formation.

“Target: the mage position in the rear!” Eldara’s voice rang out again, her tactical command amplified to cut through the chaos. “Do not get bogged down with this fodder!”

The knights executed the order with flawless perfection. They ignored the skeletons and ghouls swarming them from all directions, maintaining an incredible charging speed as they drove straight for the rear of the undead army. There, dozens of Necromancers were chanting, dark green halos swirling at their feet as they pulled fallen skeletons back up from the ground.

“Sister, what do we do?” Selene asked urgently, using her shield to expertly knock a stray bone arrow out of the air.

“Keep up! The Commander and her knights are going for a decapitation strike. We’re responsible for the rearguard—we clear out the pursuers so they don’t get surrounded!” Celeste instantly assessed the situation.

Eldara’s tactic was a classic cavalry maneuver: fast, accurate, and ruthless. But it also carried immense risk. If they were to stall and get surrounded, even the most elite cavalry would find it nearly impossible to escape being worn down and annihilated.

The elven infantry following the knight order had already engaged the undead flank. The Elf Rangers drew their longbows, and arrows infused with moonlight silently pierced the night sky like falling stars, precisely extinguishing one soul-fire after another. The elven mages chanted ancient incantations, summoning walls of fire and spikes of ice to plow through the undead ranks.

“Xia Lian, scout the left flank! Su Wan, watch the right and use Ice Walls to block them!” Celeste rapidly issued orders, her gaze sweeping across the entire battlefield.

Ahead of them, Eldara’s knight order had already driven deep into the heart of the undead. Behind and to their sides, a massive number of Skeleton Soldiers and ghouls were swarming frantically, attempting to sever the connection between the infantry and cavalry to completely swallow this audacious assault force.

“There are too many of them!” Xia Lian’s figure was ethereal as her shortbow, Night Star Whisper, vibrated with a continuous hum. Every arrow she loosed was silent, only exploding into a small cluster of brilliant starlight the moment it pierced a skeleton’s eye socket.

“Ice Barrier!”

Su Wan struck the ground with her staff. Thick walls of ice rose up, temporarily blocking the path of the undead horde on the right flank. But under the relentless impact of the sea of bones, the ice walls emitted a tooth-aching cracking sound, fractures visibly spiderwebbing across their surfaces.

“Selene, hold the front! Buy me some time!” Celeste shouted.

“Don’t worry, Sister!” Selene let out a fierce battle cry, slamming her tower shield, Immovable Mountain, heavily onto the ground.

As Holy Light erupted from beneath her feet, the new sacred covenant, Resilience of the Mountain, activated. An invisible force field enveloped her, making her feel as though she were anchored to the very earth beneath her feet.

Several ghouls leaped high into the air, their pitch-black claws lunging straight for her face.

“Get lost!”

Selene didn’t even bother to dodge; she simply swung her heavy shield in a wide, horizontal arc.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

A series of dull, heavy impacts exploded one after another. In the past, this kind of assault would have been enough to make her arms go numb and force her back half a step. But now, when that violent force slammed into her shield, most of it was absorbed and deflected by the invisible “resilience” field. The remaining force was nothing more than a faint tickle.

Instead, it was the ghouls who had their bones shattered by the massive counter-shock force. They were sent flying backward, tumbling through the air and knocking over a large swath of skeletons behind them.

“Woah, so tough!” Selene was surprised herself. Feeling the slight vibration in her arms, she let out a cry of pure joy.

Taking advantage of the time her sister had bought, Celeste decided to stop slacking. She raised her pink staff high.

“Celeste?” Su Wan sensed that familiar, yet deeply unsettling, magical fluctuation and glanced back.

Selene also saw her sister’s classic wind-up stance. Her eyes instantly lit up with a terrifying intensity as she shouted with excitement, “Sister! Are you going to use your ultimate?!”

Celeste ignored her, closing her eyes and focusing her mental energy to its absolute peak. She channeled the unique and majestic Holy Light power within her body once again, pouring it into her favorite large-scale healing divine art—’Halo.’

The crystal at the tip of her staff began to gather a soft, almost gentle, pink light.

“O Holy Light,” Celeste’s voice was ethereal and solemn, ringing out with surprising clarity over the chaotic battlefield. “Please hear my prayer. These lost souls require the utmost care… and the deepest tranquility.”

Celeste snapped her eyes open and swung her staff forward.

An overwhelming, pure, and holy tide of pink light swept out from her as the epicenter, surging across the entire battlefield in a blinding wave. This light carried an absurd yet extreme sense of holiness, instantly covering an area of nearly a hundred meters.

The low-level Skeleton Soldiers and ghouls charging at the very front had their movements frozen the moment they touched the tide of light. Their bodies began to make sizzling sounds as black smoke poured off them. Their hard bones and rotting flesh directly disintegrated and dissolved within the pink radiance, leaving behind nothing but puddles of foul residue.

As a large number of undead were purified, a cushion-sized, crown-wearing chibi unicorn phantom popped out from above Celeste’s head with a soft pop.

Passive skill, Sunshine Rainbow Little Ika, activated!

“Doo! Doo-doo, doo!”

Over a hundred Little Ika phantoms reappeared. With cheerful cries, they charged and spun at high speeds across the battlefield, trailing brilliant, seven-colored miniature tornadoes behind them.

It was a carpet bombing of rainbows.

The undead who were lucky enough to withstand the initial pink tide were swept up the moment they touched these seemingly harmless rainbow tornadoes. Bones were ground directly into powder within the seven-colored light. Rotting flesh was purified into nothingness by the holy power. Soul-fires were extinguished with a series of soft pfft-pfft sounds before they could even let out a wail.

In an instant, the area within nearly a hundred meters around Celeste and her team was completely cleared.

Only the excessively clean ground remained, along with the sweet-scented rainbow dust that had yet to dissipate in the air.

“Done. Job finished.” Celeste clapped her hands in satisfaction.

[Ding! You’ve used the same trick for the second time, and your teammates are already desensitized. Elation Coins +1.]

‘System, I’m getting the distinct impression you’re throwing shade at me,’Celeste thought,’but I have no proof.’

Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield.

The knight order led by Eldara had pierced through the undead army like a precise surgical knife, cutting open the Necromancer position in the rear. Dozens of Necromancers in tattered robes were in a state of panic; they hadn’t expected the enemy to be so devastatingly fast.

“Traitor!” A high-level Necromancer standing on a raised platform let out a piercing shriek as he saw the knight order arrive. He recognized Eldara, and the soul-fire in his eyes flickered violently, filled with a mixture of malice and terror.

Eldara gave a cold snort, not even deigning to spare him a glance. Holding her sword in one hand, she swung it through the air toward the group of Necromancers below.

A sword wave mixed with the energies of death and ice swept out. Wherever it passed, the fragile Necromancers shattered into ice sculptures and then crumbled into dust.

Seeing that things were going south, the high-level Necromancer crushed a black crystal in his hand. A dense black mist instantly enveloped him. When the mist dissipated, he had vanished from the spot, leaving only a spiteful curse echoing in the air:

“Eldara! Just you wait! Lord Mogras will not let you off!”

“I won’t let him off either.”

Eldara sheathed her sword and stood still, her crimson eyes sweeping over the now-empty platform. Her tone was icy. “He ran quite fast.”

A Silent Watch Knight rode up to her side, looking in utter shock at the “pure land” in the rear that had been scoured clean by pink holy light and rainbow tornadoes. He reported, his voice stuttering, “Commander… the threat… the threat from the rear… has resolved itself.”

Eldara looked back.

She happened to see Celeste blowing non-existent dust off the tip of her staff, wearing an innocent expression that screamed, ‘I’m just a plain and ordinary priest.’

The cold Commander, having long expected this kind of absurdity, didn’t even twitch an eyebrow.

She simply issued a new command to the knight order via amplification magic, her voice as steady as ever.

“Clear the rest of the battlefield!”

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]