Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

“A Cleansing Spell?”

Elaniel’s interest was thoroughly piqued. She set down the soup bowl in her hand, her captivating, wine-red eyes sparkling with a brilliant curiosity.

Eldara, too, cast an inquisitive glance toward Celeste. As the captain of the Silent Watch Knights, she was an expert in the skills of every profession and knew precisely what a Priestess’s Cleansing Spell was meant to do. But her recent adventures with Celeste had taught her one obvious truth: any normal skill, once placed in Celeste’s hands, had a tendency to become anything but normal.

“Ahem.”

Feeling a little unnerved by the Queen’s enthusiastic gaze, Celeste cleared her throat, deciding it was time to begin her performance.

“It’s just a standard Cleansing Spell,” she explained, trying to sound modest. “I’ve only modified it slightly to make it more practical and, well, effective.”

As she spoke, she waved a hand at Selene, who was still preening and showing off her armor. “Come on, Selene. Give Her Majesty the Queen and the Captain a little demonstration.”

“You got it!”

Selene immediately strode to the center of the tent. She deliberately spun around, pointing dramatically at the oil stains on the inner lining of her plate armor—souvenirs from their barbecue feast.

Celeste raised her hand and began to chant a completely nonsensical incantation.

“Farewell to stains, embrace the fresh! One-second clean, a lazy person’s gospel! Go! Cleansing Spell!”

A soft, pinkish-purple halo descended from above, enveloping Selene like a delicate, shimmering veil. The light circulated silently around her, as if invisible hands were gently wiping away every speck of dust and every last drop of grease from her body.

Then, the light faded.

Selene reappeared before them. The lining that had been stained with greasy residue was now pristine, and even the wrinkles creased into the fabric from battle had been perfectly ironed out. A fresh scent, a pleasant mix of sunshine and clean grass, wafted from her.

But the most eye-catching change was her hair.

Her originally long, black locks had transformed into an incredibly striking cherry blossom pink, which flowed with a faint, magical luster under the warm glow of the enchanted flames.

“Well? What do you think?” Selene tossed her new pink hair triumphantly, striking a pose like a peacock fanning its tail. “Not only does it get you clean, but it can also change your hair color as a bonus. Isn’t it super amazing?”

“Interesting! Far too interesting!” Elaniel’s eyes lit up completely. Far from finding the spell strange, she looked like a child who had just discovered a marvelous new toy, her face alight with pure excitement.

She stood and circled Selene, extending her jade-like fingers to carefully twist a strand of pink hair, feeling its texture.

“How long does this color last?”

“Ten minutes,” Selene said, holding up one finger. “It fades automatically. No false advertising, I promise. It’s an absolute god-tier skill for home and travel.”

“Young Miss Priestess,” Elaniel said, turning her head. She looked at Celeste with eyes brimming with expectation. “Such a fascinating spell… surely you don’t plan to let only your sister experience it, do you?”

“Huh?” Celeste was stunned.

‘Holy crap! Is the Queen seriously asking to try this herself? Me? Dye the Elf Queen’s hair pink? If word of this gets out, I’ll be branded an enchantress who bewitched the monarch and hung on the Elven Pillar of Shame for all eternity!’

“Your Majesty, this… wouldn’t it undermine your dignity?” Celeste asked, her voice a little weak.

“Dignity is for outsiders to see,” Elaniel replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.

With that casual gesture, an invisible magic barrier instantly shrouded the entire tent, cutting off all sight and sound from the outside world.

Then, she gave Celeste a playful wink. “There. Now no one can know that we have ‘lost our decorum’.”

After speaking, she turned and grabbed the petrified Eldara, shaking her arm like a young girl. Her tone was as intimate as if she were speaking to her closest friend. “Eldara, you come too.”

Eldara: “…”

The aloof Captain of the Knights was frozen solid. She looked at the Queen’s eager face, then at the swirling, colorful ball of light in Celeste’s hand that was practically vibrating with readiness. For the first time, a helplessness called ‘resignation’ flickered across her perpetually glacial features.

She didn’t struggle. She just let out a long, almost inaudible sigh, clearly long accustomed to her Queen’s sudden whims.

“Your Majesty, I…”

“This is an order.”

Elaniel gave her no chance to refuse, pushing her directly in front of Celeste. She shot Celeste another wink, a look that clearly said: Hurry up, don’t dawdle!

Eldara gave up resisting and simply closed her eyes, looking for all the world like a condemned prisoner awaiting the executioner’s axe. Just before her eyelids fluttered shut, she shot Celeste a look that screamed, ‘I’m putting this on your tab. I’ll let it slide for Her Majesty’s sake, but I’ll remember this.’Celeste almost burst out laughing at the sight of the cold captain’s look of utter defeat.’Sorry, Captain, but Her Majesty herself ordered this. If the monarch wants a subject to dye their hair, the subject must dye their hair! Just consider it sharing in the monarch’s burdens!’

Suppressing her laughter, Celeste waved her hands. Two silent, pinkish-purple halos shot out, covering the Queen and the Knight Captain simultaneously.

For a moment, the tent was filled with swirling light.

When it faded, Elf Queen Elaniel and Silent Watch Captain Eldara stood before them, both sporting identical, glowing, cherry-blossom-pink hair. Their completely different temperaments, paired with the exact same hair color, created a bizarre yet stunning visual impact.

“Pfft—hahahahaha!” Selene was the first to break. She pointed at Eldara and practically rolled on the ground with laughter. “Captain! You look… too, too cute! This is the legendary gap moe!”

Su Wan had also whipped her head around, her shoulders shaking violently. It was obvious she was using every ounce of self-control she possessed to keep from laughing out loud.

Xia Lian’s eyes went wide. She quickly covered her mouth with her hands, terrified a laugh might escape. She glanced nervously toward the tent flap; even knowing the magic barrier was there, she was still worried this “undignified” scene might be discovered.

Eldara stood motionless, her fists clenched, her face as placid as a frozen lake. But when she inadvertently caught a glimpse of a pink reflection on her polished arm guard, she froze completely. Her scarlet eyes widened in shock, as if she had just witnessed some apocalyptic, terrifying sight.

The legendary cold and murderous Death Knight, with… a girly, cherry blossom pink hairstyle?

The sheer absurdity of the image caused her brain to lag for a solid half-second.

Immediately after, she saw Selene laughing so hard she was nearly convulsing, and a cold, murderous aura began to leak from her, barely suppressed. But as her gaze fell back to her reflection, she found herself, as if possessed, tilting her head ever so slightly.

That bright, vibrant pink, set against her cold, sharp facial features, actually produced an… indescribable, peculiar kind of beauty.

A long-sealed emotion called ‘novelty’ stubbornly poked its head out, like a blade of grass growing through a crack in stone.

She subconsciously raised a hand, her fingertips trembling as she touched the ends of her hair. Then, as if scalded, she abruptly retracted her hand and quickly restored her eternal iceberg expression. Only the faint blush coloring the tips of her ears and the unconscious tightening of her jawline betrayed the raging tsunami in her heart.

Elaniel’s reaction, however, completely exceeded everyone’s expectations.

She pinched a strand of her own long, pink hair, wrapping it gracefully around her fingertips. A nostalgic smile graced her lips.

“This color… it reminds me of that time in the Moonlight Forest, under the falling cherry blossom trees, when I drank a little too much March flower wine.”

She opened her eyes and leaned intimately on the shoulder of the still-frozen Eldara, chuckling softly. “Eldara, do you remember? That time I got drunk and climbed to the top of the tree to sing. In the end, it was you who had to carry me down, with such a dark look on your face.”

As soon as those words were spoken, the entire tent fell silent.

On Eldara’s ice-sealed face, the emotions in her scarlet eyes surged violently. Even her earlobes flushed a suspicious shade of red. She squeezed a few words out from between her teeth. “Your Majesty, old matters need not be mentioned again.”

“Oh, my, there are no outsiders here,” Elaniel said, letting herself go completely. She lifted her skirt and spun on the spot, her long pink hair tracing a gorgeous arc through the air. “There’s nothing wrong with indulging occasionally. Come on, Miss Celeste, don’t be partial! Let these two young ladies join our ‘Falling Cherry Blossom Party’!”

Since the atmosphere was already at this point, what else was there to do?

Celeste channeled her inner celebrity stylist, waving her staff. Two more pink lights flew out, accurately striking the still-processing Su Wan and Xia Lian.

Amidst a chaotic medley of screams and laughter, six women—priestesses and mature elves alike—with vibrant pink hair kicked off a “Ten-Minute Limited Pink Hair Rave Party” right there in the tent.

“Come on, Eldara, dance!” Elaniel grabbed the petrified Knight Captain and forcibly started spinning with her. “I heard from Miss Celeste that they have a ritual called ‘clubbing.’ It’s like this… yes, follow the rhythm, move!”

Poor Eldara, a battle-hardened captain of knights, was dragged around by her Queen, bouncing stiffly like a marionette whose strings had been tangled. Her pink hair swayed with her chaotic steps, and her face was a canvas of philosophical questions: ‘Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?’

On the other side, Selene, who feared no chaos, had already pounced on Su Wan. “Sister Wan’er, your aloof temperament is a total waste with this pink hair. Let me give you a rock-and-roll style!”

With that, her two magical claws went for Su Wan’s hair. In a few deft movements, she had tied it into two buns, making her look just like a pink-haired Nezha.

“Selene! Stop it!” Su Wan shrieked while resisting, but the corners of her mouth were stretched to her ears. Finally giving up the fight, she grabbed Xia Lian, who was just watching the show, and shouted, “Xia Lian, don’t be afraid! I’ll braid you the cutest princess braid!”

And so, the tent descended into utter, glorious chaos.

The Queen was attempting some beyond understanding dance with her Knight Captain. Selene was chasing the twin-bunned Su Wan all over the place. And Xia Lian, pinned down by Su Wan, had her pink hair thoroughly messed up as she laughed until she couldn’t breathe.

Celeste stood with her arms crossed, leaning against a tent pole. While using little magic tricks to produce colorful light spots and a rhythmic “untz-untz-untz” beat, she provided live commentary.

“Welcome, everyone, to the First Royal Pink Hair Carnival! Now walking towards us is the Queen and Knight duo! Oh! And look over there! The Nezha-lookalike contestant is chasing her stylist!”

After a bout of indulgent fun, Elaniel walked over to Celeste’s side. The pink hair seemed to strip away a bit of her monarch’s dignity, replacing it with the warm intimacy of a neighborhood big sister.

“Miss Celeste,” she whispered, her wine-red eyes shining in the firelight. “These ‘spells’ of yours, and you yourself… you are even more interesting than I imagined.”

She leaned in slightly, lowering her voice. “When we return to Silvermoon City, I would like to have a private talk with you.”

She lowered her voice even further, a conspiratorial glint in her eyes. “About the world you came from… I have many curious questions.”

“Is that okay?”

“Of course. It would be my pleasure, Your Majesty,” Celeste replied with a genuine smile.

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]