Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

“Is Sister going to use her ultimate?”

The moment Selene heard that familiar, ominous shout, her heart skipped a beat. Without a shred of hesitation, she leaped backward, putting as much distance as possible between herself and whatever was about to happen.

Her face was a mask of pure, unadulterated anticipation.

In her experience, the phrase “ultimate move” coming from her sister was synonymous with the complete and utter shattering of her worldview, followed by a painful restructuring. Whether it was the overwhelming tide of pink light, the time she strafed enemies with an alchemical machine gun, or the terrifying tornado from even earlier, each “ultimate” was more ludicrously unimaginable than the last.

The frigid air gathering at Su Wan’s fingertips quietly dissipated. Her figure flickered, and she retreated behind a massive boulder, her cold, clear eyes ignited with a fire of intense curiosity. Just how many more surprises could this completely unrestrained Priest possibly have in store?

Further away, Xia Lian, having just sent an arrow whistling through a Frost Troll shaman’s skull with an elf ranger’s long-range support, also turned her gaze toward the center of the commotion.

Meanwhile, at the very heart of the battlefield, the duel raged on.

Eldara’s blade flashed, and a wave of chilling sword energy sent Mogras stumbling back. Even in the heat of combat, her cold gaze took a moment to flick in Celeste’s direction. When she saw the peculiar stance the red-clad girl had taken, the muscles on her usually expressionless, iceberg-like face twitched almost imperceptibly.

A familiar sense of déjà vu washed over her.

Something that defied common sense—something that broke the very rules of reality—was about to occur.

“Damn it… traitor…” Mogras seized the momentary lull to gasp for breath, the soulfire in his eye sockets flickering violently. He couldn’t even manage to spit out a complete curse. Clutching the deep, bone-exposing sword wound on his chest, he desperately tried to suppress the deathly frost energy rampaging through his body. Counterattacking was a luxury; just managing to draw another breath felt like an impossible challenge.

Eldara withdrew her gaze, the impatience in her eyes growing more pronounced.

She had made a decision. A quick victory.

She would deal with this troublesome undead as swiftly as possible, then witness with her own eyes what kind of storm that otherworldly girl was about to unleash.

At that moment, Celeste, the focal point of everyone’s attention, stopped her happy-go-lucky skipping. She stood a solid twenty meters in front of the troll chieftain Sradlan, a naive and innocent—yet incredibly dangerous—smile blooming on her face.

“Hehe, watch closely!” she chirped. “Next up is a grand fireworks show!”

Her crisp, childish voice echoed through the valley as she raised her hands high above her head.

In an instant, the small brown leather bag on her back erupted in a blinding crimson light. Several beams shot out, rapidly interweaving and condensing in mid-air, outlining a massive, illusory four-leaf clover pattern.

The name of a skill exploded in her mind.

[Boom Boom Spark!]

“Full firepower!”

Celeste’s childish cry became the trigger for utter destruction.

The next second, the colossal four-leaf clover hanging in the sky blazed with incandescent light, like a second, blood-red sun suspended over the valley.

Countless crimson beams, each thicker than an adult’s waist, tore through the sky and descended!

Divine punishment!

This was true, unadulterated divine punishment!

The beams had only one target—the grievously wounded Frost Troll leader, Sradlan, who was just about to rally for a desperate last stand.

“BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM—!”

The dense, overlapping explosions merged into a single, deafening, continuous roar of thunder. Sradlan was completely enveloped by a crimson thunderstorm of pure energy. Every laser that struck the ground blasted a shocking crater into the earth, and the scorching heatwave they produced instantly vaporized the surrounding ice and snow, shrouding the battlefield in a thick, sun-blotting fog.

Sradlan’s massive body was completely consumed by this indiscriminate, blanket-style bombing. It couldn’t even let out a final scream before being swallowed whole by the extremely violent fire-elemental energy.

The terrifying energy fluctuations caused the entire snow-capped mountain to shake violently. On the hillside, the thick layers of snow began to emit ominous cracking sounds, as if pushed beyond their limit.

An avalanche was imminent.

“Sister, I was just kidding about the ultimate… You’re telling me this witch transformation comes with a built-in forbidden spell?!” Selene stared at the natural disaster unfolding before her, her jaw practically scraping the snow.

Su Wan’s body trembled, not from cold, but from extreme, unadulterated excitement. The knuckles gripping her staff turned white from the force of her grip. A single thought screamed wildly in her mind: This is the romance of a mage!

What were exquisite spell structures? What was elegant crowd control? In the face of absolute firepower that could tear the heavens and sunder the earth, all of that was just flashy, inefficient heresy!

Ice mages had no future!

Fire mages! Fire mages were the one true path!

Xia Lian, rendered completely speechless by this spectacular display of destructive aesthetics, could only pump her fists, her face beaming with a pride that screamed, “My teammate is super awesome!”

So, this was another way to fight.

No need for exquisite positioning. No need for complex tactics.

Just… absolute, overwhelming firepower!

[Ding! The Host has earned the achievement: “Poor? Tactics. Rich? Saturation Bombardment.” Elation Coins +666!]

The system’s notification made the corners of Celeste’s mouth curve even higher.

‘That’s right!’she thought, giddy with power.’This is what you call DPS!”Positioning? Kiting? In the face of saturation bombing, that’s all just roadkill! Truth is found at the tip of the cannon! Justice is served within the blast radius!’

She gazed with satisfaction at the land of destruction ahead, still shrouded in flames and steam. After a full course of “Boom Boom Spark,” forget a mere troll—even an Earth Dragon would have been blasted into carbonized chunks.

The light finally dissipated.

The smoke gradually thinned.

A terrifying, scorched, and molten crater, over thirty meters in diameter, was revealed to everyone.

In the center of the crater, Sradlan’s massive body was in tatters. One of its arms had been completely blown off, half its torso was charred black, and there wasn’t an inch of intact skin left on its body. It lay at the bottom of the pit, its life force as weak as a candle flickering in the wind. Only the imperceptible rise and fall of its chest proved it was still alive.

But only just.

It slowly raised its head. Those eyes, once filled with tyranny and ferocious light, now held only endless fear, confusion, and a sense of deep absurdity.

It didn’t understand.

How could it, the dignified chieftain of the Frostjaw clan, who had rampaged across the North for hundreds of years, lose to a strange little girl in red? And in such a way—used as a living target and blown to smithereens.

This was just too damn humiliating a way to die.

“Not dead yet? You’re a tough one.”

Celeste looked at the still-breathing Sradlan and tilted her head, a picture of cute curiosity. She was just about to fish another Bouncy Bomb out of her bag to send it on its final journey.

Suddenly, Sradlan used its last ounce of strength to let out a final, guttural roar. With its one remaining arm, it grabbed the huge, equally battered mace lying beside it. Burning the last dregs of its vitality, it heaved the weapon wildly in the direction of the enemy it remembered!

This was its final, inaccurate strike of pure, venting rage!

The huge mace spun through the air, letting out a piercing shriek as it tore through the atmosphere like a runaway cannonball.

And as luck would have it, it was heading directly for Selene.

“Holy crap! Coming for me?!” Selene’s pupils shrank.

In that same flash, Celeste had already acted. A rapid-fire series of holy prayers spilled from her lips.

“[Power Word: Shield]!”

“[Divine Protection]!”

“[Prayer of Mending]!”

In less than an instant, three layers of light enveloped Selene: a golden film as thin as a cicada’s wing, a thick holy barrier, and a shimmering golden mote of trigger-based healing.

Selene herself didn’t hesitate for a second! She sank her legs, anchoring herself to the ground like a deep-rooted tree, and slammed the Immovable Mountain heavy shield in front of her!

[Holy Shield]!

[Resilience of the Mountain]!

Every single defensive skill she possessed was activated in that one, critical moment!

“CLANG—!!!”

A deafening metallic explosion echoed throughout the valley.

The massive mace slammed hard against the golden shield, which was now wrapped in three additional layers of divine light. The terrifying impact force detonated instantly.

The ground beneath Selene’s feet cracked and splintered, spiderweb-like fissures spreading several meters in every direction. She let out a muffled groan, her arms shaking violently as the colossal force shoved her backward a full seven or eight meters, plowing two deep trenches in the snow.

Other than that, she was completely unharmed.

The huge mace, its kinetic energy utterly spent, paused for a moment in mid-air before falling powerlessly to the ground with a dull, heavy thud.

In the deep pit, Sradlan’s massive body finally exhausted its last spark of life. The light in its eyes extinguished completely.

[Sradlan Lv.??? Frost Troll Leader], killed!

In an instant, four soft golden lights bloomed over each of the four party members before quickly fading away.

Celeste watched as a prompt popped up on her career panel.

[Your team has killed [Sradlan Lv.??? Frost Troll Leader]! Experience points significantly increased!]

[Ding! Congratulations on reaching Level 23!]

Celeste casually dumped her free attribute points into Constitution again, and the panel refreshed:

[Celeste – Priest Lv.23]

[Strength: 90]

[Agility: 60]

[Constitution: 165]

[Intelligence: 78]

[Faith: 87]

“Phew… That’s refreshing!” Selene shook her slightly numb arms, feeling the new power surging through her body. She shouted excitedly, “Sister! I’m 24!”

“I’m 24 as well,” Su Wan’s voice drifted over from not far away. Her tone was still cool, but the slight upward curve of her lips betrayed her excellent mood.

Celeste dismissed her codex and responded with a smile, “Xia Lian and I are 23. You two have the higher levels, so you lead the way.”

On the other side of the battlefield, with the death of their leader, the remaining Frost Trolls completely broke. They let out terrified, desperate wails, their fighting spirit shattered, and began to flee in all directions.

“Trying to run?” Su Wan’s cold voice rang out. “Too late.”

She waved her staff, and towering Ice Walls erupted from the ground, blocking the trolls’ retreat.

Xia Lian’s figure appeared on a nearby hillside. She drew her shortbow, and starlight-infused arrows, like invitations from the god of death, precisely harvested the trolls attempting to scramble over the icy barriers.

The other elf rangers and mages finally snapped out of their stupor from the devastating spectacle. They glanced at the scorched crater, then at the girl who had now reverted to her normal Priest attire, swallowed hard, and joined the pursuit.

A one-sided slaughter began.

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]