My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1221: Chapter 1051: No More Explanations

Is it possible that sometimes explaining too much provides others with excuse after excuse to make trouble for you? Often, all I want is the simplest answer, even if it is simple, it’s still better than having no answer at all.

”Dad, I’ve said it many times. Sometimes, deep down in your heart, it’s not about whether you have friends or not—I know that, and I understand those hurts you’ll never forget.

If you really thought about it, could it be the consequences of what we’re doing? Because I know what this is all really about. Who can understand my good intentions?

Maybe deep in your heart you will never understand, so I’ll learn to be this kind of person. I endured all this, I will never forget why I’ve become like this today, and reaching this point took a lot of effort and brought a lot of unhappiness, but I have never given up, because I know I need to rely on my own efforts to reach the pinnacle of life. I cannot declare war when I am at my weakest, and it would be wrong to say I’ve wasted everything I’ve worked for. I sincerely hope you can consider things from my perspective.

You are my dad, much like you say I am to you. If I always use these experiences and achievements to help you, no one will be truly happy. Would you find joy or happiness? Have you ever thought that your ultimate choice in life isn’t just about today?

I am indeed scared and hesitant. I don’t know what I am doing all this for, and I’m even less sure what the point of doing more is. Watching my loved ones get hurt time and again and being powerless to stop it—you know what that kind of failure feels like?

You’ve never stood in my shoes and considered things for even a moment. You never really understood how hard and difficult it is for me to live in this world. In your eyes, everything you do is right. Have you thought about how hard it is for those around you to live—what have you truly seen? I don’t understand why, in your eyes, there’s nothing left worth focusing on, you’ve changed everything, and I really don’t understand how you’ll make things return to how they were.

You are my father, and no matter what decisions you make, I have to forgive you. No matter when or where, I have to consider things from your perspective. I can’t live as carefree as I used to. The fact that living like that makes me happy and joyful is painful for you, and I can’t let you feel that pain. But every time I have given up my dreams to accommodate you, I’ve always known what the outcome of my life would be. I don’t regret any of my decisions, but I hope you can support every effort I make, believe that every choice I make is right. Can you stop trying to prevent me from pursuing my own life?”

”Child, how can you still not understand that these matters can’t be solved by whether or not Dad forgives you? The family doesn’t intentionally hurt you by skipping moons, they’re not Saint, unable to live carefree. Once hurt, they still have to forgive him. Originally, it didn’t matter, you can hurt freely, and they’re not anything—it’s difficult even for Saint to forgive and forgive time and again.

Maybe you still haven’t figured out what you truly want, deep down, none of it matters. You care about your age; you’ve never thought about the kind of life you most want for yourself. How has it come to this point, and for what purpose have you made all these sacrifices? I don’t believe you’re so heartless—I hope you can prove with your actions your deeds aren’t intentional. You’re not deliberately trying to hurt everyone; you inadvertently hurt them. Are you willing to make amends for your past actions to prove you were wrong?

I will never again easily believe anything you say. Every affirmation, every time I accepted you, you chose, time and again, to hurt me, and I ended up with nothing. In your eyes, I’m seen only as a father figure—am I just someone who can be hurt so easily? You have this or that desire; if you want it, you try, if not, you’re discarded at will. Have you thought about how difficult my life is? How difficult it is for me to be here today?

Perhaps you’ve never thought about it, because in your eyes, things can be easily given up for financial freedom. But there are things that can never be abandoned, because you’ll never see family again. Money can silence you and force you to change your ideals and state, but even if money holds such charm, it cannot change my heart’s hold on you. I hope everyone can have their own thoughts and path. You want everyone to lead the life they want. Do not harm people by such means. Everyone should happily live the life they desire. Isn’t our greatest joy ensuring everyone’s happiness at home?

I know you want me to forgive you today, but I really can’t do it. If the right time comes, if you really repent and change, if you will never make such mistakes again, if everything you say can be trusted as truth, if every promise is fulfilled, then I will forgive you. I hope you always remember what I said today—you won’t change. For me to forgive, I need to see your true actions and watch as you change yourselves, to make everything different from what we imagined.

Child, don’t say Dad’s heartless. I truly don’t want you to live like this. I truly can’t watch as you fail over and over again, this father stands by unable to help. Do you know how much of a failure I feel as a father?”

I never thought one day I’d end up this way—failing so badly. I once thought everything I wanted was what I deserved, but in the end, what did I really get? Everything was a conclusion I couldn’t explain, and even if I had everything, I lost what was most important to me.