My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1212: Chapter 1042: Everyone Has Been Hurt

There are always people who think they should live unchanged, but is that really the life they want?

”Child, I know, even if you are comforting Grandpa with your words, your heart is still in great pain. How could you not be in pain? He is your biological father. The hurt he caused you is far greater than any hurt he caused Grandpa. Actually, I believe your heart has the same questions as mine: why did my father and mother leave me, why did they cruelly abandon me again and again? Am I really so insignificant in their eyes? Do they really not care about me at all? All the questions in your heart, Grandpa also once had, but slowly, those elusive self-doubts stopped plaguing me, because I realized that if those things could bring what I’ve lost back to me, that would be fine. But no matter how much I introspect, I can’t bring it all back, because no one will believe me. Since no one will believe, why make unnecessary proofs? Everyone’s thoughts are different. Some can happily live their own lives, carefree all their lives; while others always live on the edge of pain, without joy, because nothing makes them happy, and their hearts are dark. When you slowly figure things out, you will find that all of it is actually not worth worrying over. No one is unable to live without someone they’ve lost; they can still live freely and happily after losing that person. And those who can never let go are only the ones who abandon or are abandoned by others! The most important thing in life is to learn how to grow. Once you’ve learned to grow, what else is there to fear? Even if in the end, others are unwilling to come back to you, you still have everything you gained through your own efforts. Don’t concern yourself with people who don’t care about you; this way, not only do you live a tiring life, but those around you also live an even more exhausting life. Don’t hurt those who care about you because of people who aren’t worth it, it’s not worth it!”

”Grandpa, you’re right. I’ve been through all of this; I know what I should do with these thoughts. But I can never let go of it all. On one side is my mother, on the other side is my father. How can I forget the harm they’ve caused me in this life when I’ve held them in such high regard, and cared so much about them? Yet they hurt me so deeply. In their eyes, am I really just something that can be casually discarded? Even if I were just an object, shouldn’t what they labored to bring into this world have some sentiment attached? When they abandoned me back then, they didn’t even blink. Who can understand the pain in my heart? Everyone thinks I’m selfish for turning my back on my parents and not letting them back home, but who knows my inner pain? Maybe some people think all this isn’t that important, but to me, it is very significant. I cannot accept that my parents, having brought me into this world, abandon their son for their freedom! I don’t know what they had in mind when they gave birth to me, nor if they did it to continue the Zhang Family line. I also don’t know their reasons behind their actions. Is freedom really that important to them, such that they can even abandon their own child? If so, why did they bring me into this world at all? Still, I am somewhat grateful to them, because if they hadn’t brought me into this world and abandoned me, I wouldn’t have achieved what I have today. Although my childhood was full of hardship, always spent in training, my life has been happy, because I have the purest affection, the purest family bond from my grandpa. You have given me so much goodness, grandpa, you’ve made my successes today possible, and none of it relates to my parents. I won’t feel grateful to them for anything, because they don’t deserve it. Since they decided to abandon me, they should never think to return to my life. I have no such parents. I once gave them a chance to mend their ways, let them return home to spend joyful times with us, yet they themselves abandoned that chance. They never had us in their hearts, so why insist on keeping them here, forcing them into pain as well? If they wish to continue their wanderlust, let them go. They’ve grown accustomed to a drifting life and are not suited to staying home. Given that, why cause everyone unease by forcing them, grandpa? I know sometimes my decisions might be excessive, but I hope you can understand how I feel inside. I can no longer forgive them. Their hurt is just too much for me to bear in this life, and no matter how I try to swallow my hatred to forgive them, they continue to hurt me again and again. I am human too, with emotions, and cannot withstand such endless heartbreak! My heart is utterly shattered now; I can no longer build any trust or feelings towards them. My heart has been deeply wounded by them, and a wounded heart, where can it find feelings?” Old Master Zhang knew every word his grandson spoke was true. He knew his grandson’s heart was thoroughly wounded by his own son, just as his own heart was, wounded beyond repair. Yet there was nothing he could do as he had to bear the consequences, for that was his own son. How could he so easily give him up? Actually, Old Master Zhang also understood that once a heart is broken into pieces, it can never heal, never go back to the way things were. They never anticipated things turning out like this, so why should he worry needlessly for them? Since they chose this life, let them live it!

”We’ve been through so many ups and downs in life, and have forgotten them all. Who hasn’t experienced setbacks and pain, or had their heart wounded by others? Only those who have experienced it can truly understand...”