My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1214: Chapter 1044: Lost

I walked a very long, long road, a road whose length I couldn’t even fathom myself. Initially, I maintained a clear mind, but as I kept walking, I forgot who I truly was!

”Grandpa, I actually don’t fully understand what you mean by your words? I just want to know, if according to your understanding, we shouldn’t complain about anyone because heaven is fair. We shouldn’t complain about heaven’s unfairness towards us, nor should we complain about humans’ unfairness. But Grandpa, do you know? Many things aren’t solved just by not complaining!”

”So tell me, what are the things you describe as such?”

”Grandpa, honestly, even though my parents chose to abandon me, I have never thought of blaming them because I feel that no matter the harm they cause me, it’s understandable, especially after hearing that girl in my dreams advising me repeatedly. I became even more firm in my thoughts, but I don’t understand why the final outcome would turn out this way. Grandpa, he has hurt me so many times, even if it’s my parents, I can no longer choose to repay hurt with kindness. It’s truly difficult for me, repeatedly abandoning my principles for them, cleaning up their messes again and again, yet they not only fail to appreciate what I’ve done but continue to harm my lifelong happiness time and again. Grandpa, do you think it’s fair to me as your grandson?” Zhang Yichen asked.

Old Master Zhang didn’t know how to answer his grandson. No matter his answer, it would ultimately hurt one side, which wasn’t the outcome he wanted to see. But what choice should he make to prevent the two people he loves most from being hurt by his actions?

”Child, you know too, over all these years, you understand everything, yet you choose not to say anything. Grandpa understands your pain, but many things aren’t as simple as you imagine. This world is cruel; if you don’t harm others, they’ll come to harm you. But would such mutual harm lead to good results?”

”Grandpa, then tell me, how should I act so neither of them gets hurt?”

”Child, these matters aren’t resolved by grandpa merely saying, but rely on your actions. Like you said, over these years, you’ve always repaid hurt with kindness, forgetting the many times you’ve done so. Are you really lacking just these one or two times? You’ve overcome countless hardships by yourself, so why not this one? Why can’t you get through it?”

”Grandpa, it’s not that I don’t want to overcome this difficulty in my heart, but I really can’t do it anymore. My parents have done so many things, don’t you know? People all have eyes, wouldn’t they talk about it? Grandpa, please consider for me, I’m genuinely exhausted. This won’t have a good outcome for you or me! You all think I’ve lost my memory, so I should forget all past events. But have you ever considered that I didn’t completely lose my memory? I have the chance to restore my previous memories. I’m slowly regaining them now. Yet why does the imagery in my mind appear full of scenes of my own birth parents, harming the woman I love? Grandpa, do you know, such images only deepen my inner pain? I thought if I had amnesia, I wouldn’t need to search for past memories, wouldn’t need to think of the harm my parents caused me, but fate is unfair. It’s gradually restoring my memory, and precisely because of it, I received such a massive blow. Grandpa, I know every time you taught me, you hoped I’d become a kind and upright gentleman. I’ve always been striving towards the goals you set for me. Grandpa, please, at times consider things from my perspective too! They can hurt their son’s lifelong happiness for their selfish interests, so what else would they not do? Each instance of harm, do I really have to endure it, choose to silently bear the harm they cause me? Can’t I stand up and fight back? Grandpa, I am human, not wood. They’ve caused me pain, I can feel it, and know what heartbreak is. Yet I chose silence for family harmony and prosperity. But they don’t see it that way at all, only pursuing their interests, willing to pay any price for it, even their life!”

Old Master Zhang heard his grandson say such words, he knew he had only complicated matters further, but it wasn’t intentional. How should he resolve the hatred between these two?

”Child, when has grandpa not considered issues from your perspective? Time and again, I ponder your safety, but what about you? Have you ever shown any gratitude towards me? Just as you said, you are human; you have feelings, you know heartache. Do you think grandpa doesn’t feel heartache or sadness? Many times, you feel your parents haven’t considered any issues from your perspective, yet you never thought about why they acted this way. What was the reason behind it? They hope you can live well. Child, no matter the time, never hate your parents because they aren’t wrong; their love for you is genuine, though expressed wrongly. This isn’t the first time I’ve told you this; I’ve reminded you multiple times. I’m unsure if you’ve actually taken it to heart. But grandpa understands, as long as I’ve said it, you’ve continually kept it in your mind, just choosing whether to act on it or not, unsure whether to follow grandpa’s teachings, unsure whether to heed grandpa’s words...”

Zhang Yichen felt a bit embarrassed. He had never seen his grandpa shed tears, but just now, he saw a glistening tear fall from his grandpa’s eye corner. He knew, his grandpa cried sorrowfully because of him, feeling somewhat unforgiving of his own mistakes.

Reflecting back now, he realized he had done many things against his grandpa’s wishes, not following his grandpa’s words, leading to the current situation step by step.

”Grandpa, thank you for your guidance. I now understand everything; hard words benefit action. Without your repeated teachings, I wouldn’t have today’s achievements. Grandpa, I’m still of the mindset that since the matter happened, I’ll choose to let it go and never bring it up again, for bringing it up would be akin to reopening wounds for you and me. I hope such matters don’t occur between us. Grandpa, let’s continue living a happy life as a family!”

Perhaps life is such, gradually losing oneself amidst growth!