My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1216: Chapter 1046: Everyone Plays Along

In one’s lifetime, everyone will do things that they regret, and everyone should pay the price for the decisions they’ve made.

”From the very beginning of being with me, have you been this unhappy in your heart? If so, why did you go to such lengths to be with me? Don’t you know, to accompany you, I’ve paid the same price, but you’ve never known what I’ve done for you. I never spoke about all the things I did for you because I chose not to. I believed that one day you’d slowly discover the truth, but now it seems I was too naive, too foolish. If I don’t speak of these things, you will never know what I’ve sacrificed for you?”

”Zhang Zhentian, actually you don’t need to tell me any of this, nor do you need to calculate debts with me. Whether or not you say it, I will not go back to living with you, because for me, now that it’s like this, there’s no point in doing things we’ll regret. For the path we’ve chosen, let’s walk it step by step. Even if it’s wrong, I don’t want to change the path I’m on now! Actually, I am very thankful to you. If it weren’t for you accompanying me for over ten years, I wouldn’t have made it through the most painful time of my life because you gave me hope. I never believed in fate, nor did I believe this would have consequences, but gradually I realized that heaven indeed has eyes, and its retribution comes unexpectedly, swiftly onto your head. All those past events, I can’t sweet-talk you about them anymore because this is all I have to say. Let’s not entangle each other anymore. Isn’t life just like a play? Today you perform for me, and tomorrow I perform for you. Aren’t we all just actors? Actually, who in life hasn’t deceived another? But I can honestly tell you, I’ve never lied to you, except for the time I was sick, yet you’re different. You always think every word I say is a lie; you’ve already lost trust in me. What’s the meaning of a marriage without trust? Isn’t that just increasing each other’s pain? You never ponder the consequences of your decisions, and when they happen, I bear the responsibility because you push it all onto me. Yet, I never say a word of objection because I think you’re my husband, and I should pay for your mistakes, but I’m not a saint. I can’t take responsibility for your mistakes time and again. You have to learn to take responsibility for the consequences of your own actions!”

”I’ve said before, I admit I’ve done many things to let you down, but I’ve faced the repercussions. What more do you want from me? I admit it was wrong of me to let you bear the consequences of my actions and make you my scapegoat, but I now know I was wrong. What else do you want me to do? Do you really not understand what’s going on in my heart? Do you really need to push me away time and time again to feel satisfied? Do you think what you’re doing is really okay?”

”I still say, the past is the past, and there’s no remedy that can bring you back to how things were. I no longer want to delve into who was right or wrong, as we’ve both done many wrong things, but the consequences I’ve faced are far greater because of the wrongs you’ve done. The one who ended up bearing them was me. I now only wish to live out the rest of my life peacefully, a life of happiness I deserve. I don’t want to be with someone who treats love like a play, because it brings profound pain to my heart. I know, though, from the beginning, you were just acting with me. You gradually couldn’t tell if you were acting or genuinely investing emotionally, but I always understood! Every day with you, I’ve never been acting, only striving to fulfill my duty as a wife. I only wanted to spend a simple life together with you. Eventually, I realized that this was not the case at all. You didn’t care about your father’s company; I just did it intentionally. Your schemes were even deeper than mine, and all of this was to keep me from returning home. But I accepted all this because it was initially my decision to leave our daughter, not watching her grow up was my greatest failure as a mother, my most painful remorse. Now that wrongs have been committed, there’s no saving them. You should have realized when you began an emotional performance with me, it meant our relationship was doomed. No relationship can survive when mixed with ulterior motives; when they are, they will ultimately crumble. This is the destined outcome. You made everything how it is today, so why do you say these things to me? Isn’t saying this only making it awkward for me? You’re still so selfish and self-centered. Let go, I don’t want to continue a life of pretense with you. Don’t you know, every day I exert effort facing your performance, and it exhausts me internally? I think about how to please you and how to continue this pretense of marriage. Because I don’t want to lose this marriage, I eventually realized it was all wrong. No matter how hard I try, I can’t win back your genuine heart, for even you can’t distinguish if you genuinely love me or not. You can’t discern if what you did was right or wrong, or if it was all just pretense or driven by true harmonic understanding.”

Zhang Zhentian heard Xia Jing’s words and didn’t know how to respond. Indeed, even he couldn’t tell if he was just playing a role or had truly fallen in love with her. Perhaps this love he realized too late, and everything was already irretrievable. But was it truly wrong to love someone?

Everyone plays a part; everyone should live happily!