Who Let Him Play Yugioh? (Re-Upload)

Lava Golem.

Naturally, there are few in this world more familiar with this monster than Mr. Marik himself. But even Marik is usually used to seeing it on the other side of the cage—not inside it.

In fact, in the original series, it wasn’t regular Marik but his dark personality, Yami Marik, who used Lava Golem.

When Yami Marik seized control of Marik’s body, he’d already boarded the Duel Tower blimp for the Battle City quarterfinals. Although Yami Marik did make modifications to the deck, replacing some cards, he was already on the airship by then, so the number of cards he could swap was limited. Most of the deck’s foundation was still from Marik’s original deck.

And after Yami Marik was defeated, the deck he used was left behind, so the cards he’d played became Marik’s property.

So Marik is no stranger to Lava Golem strategies. He could already guess what his opponent was up to at a glance.

The Submarineroid is for direct attacks, while Lava Golem not only devours your own tribute monsters, it also reliably burns your LP every turn—a pure torture strategy.

But that’s not all.

”And right as my Submarineroid is revived, I activate this card,” Kira declared. ”Quick-Play Spell: Inferno Reckless Summon!

When a monster with 1500 or less ATK is Special Summoned to your side of the field: Special Summon as many monsters as possible with the same name from your hand and Deck.”

Marik’s expression grew darker. ”1500 or less ATK...that Submarineroid?”

Kira nodded. ”That’s right. So I’ll Special Summon both remaining Submarines back to the field!”

The other two anthropomorphic Submarines burst out of the water, landing side by side. All three Submarines stood in a row, torpedoes loaded and ready to fire.

Marik gritted his teeth again.

He could no longer afford to underestimate these Submarines.

Three Submarines at once, all capable of leaping over the frontlines for direct attacks. What’s more, one Submarineroid can gain the buff from ”Megaroid City” during its attack, swapping ATK and DEF for a powerful 1800-point hit.

A trio of Submarines like this could deal up to a terrifying 3400 direct damage in a single turn. Ignore defense, straight to the face—not even a god can stop it.

Marik’s Life Points were already down to 2200. At this rate, he didn’t have to worry about Lava Golem’s burn; the Submarines alone could end him right here.

”But Inferno Reckless Summon isn’t done yet,” Kira said. ”The ability to gather three monsters at once is powerful, but such power comes with risk.

The cost is that your opponent must also choose one monster on their field and Special Summon as many cards with the same name as possible from their deck.”

Marik paused.

Choose a monster on your own field and Special Summon as many copies as possible...?

He hesitantly looked up, hardly believing what he was seeing—there was only one monster on his field.

And that monster, the burning iron goofball, was innocently pointing at itself, staring right back at him.

Who else could it be but Lava Golem?

Marik: ”...!”

So, do I have to summon more of this thing from my deck?

What a joke!

One Lava Golem burns you for 1000 LP every standby phase. Two would burn 2000 every turn.

If he’d packed three Lava Golems in his deck, he’d be finished; he’d have to summon all three, and next turn he’d be taking 4000 burn damage. Even from full LP, he’d be dead instantly.

What a ridiculous way to die.

Marik understood now. This was probably his opponent’s plan from the very beginning. Not just a finishing move, but an amusing one.

What a despicable mind it takes to think up this tactic!

Marik coughed up blood.

Just seconds ago, he’d been touched that he became a role model for the younger generation, inspiring an excellent duelist. He’d thought his life as a duelist had done at least some good.

But now he realized—this was hardly a good deed.

He’d unintentionally created a dueling demon. If anything, his sins had grown even heavier!

Marik gritted his teeth. ”I don’t want to summon.”

”You can’t refuse. I got two Submarines for free; if I don’t give something back to Mr. Marik, my conscience would bother me,” Kira shook his head, smiling. ”Inferno Reckless Summon is a mandatory effect. The opponent must choose a monster they control and summon all possible copies from their deck.

If the opponent has no face-up monsters, this card can’t be activated.”

He paused, then smiled. ”Of course, if Mr. Marik’s deck, hand, and graveyard have no more copies, the effect fizzles. So, Mr. Marik, do you have another Lava Golem?”

Marik: ”...”

After a few seconds of silence, Marik stiffly drew a card from his deck.

”I Special Summon Lava Golem from my deck.”

Another surge of magma. A burning Lava Golem slowly appeared on Marik’s field.

This was perhaps Marik’s most reluctant Lava Golem summon ever.

In the original anime, Lava Golem only burned its controller for 700 LP at the start of the turn. The real-life card was later buffed to 1000 LP.

It’s been over ten years now. Lava Golem has been upgraded; the old 700-burn version is long discontinued. Naturally, Marik now has the newer one—his old version is obsolete.

Now he kind of regrets it. If only it were the old version, he’d at least lose 300 less LP... assuming he even gets another turn.

”Submarineroid,” Kira commanded. ”Attack directly!”

Submarineroid #1 launched, firing two torpedoes that cut through the water, ignoring the burning golems and heading straight for Marik.

”Activate face-down! Continuous Trap: Elemental Absorber!

By banishing a monster from my hand, all monsters with the same Attribute on the opponent’s field cannot declare attacks!”

Marik revealed a monster card, a vortex of water appeared above him, and the card was sucked in. The vortex turned into a surging wave, merging into the Elemental Absorber and forming a watery barrier.

”I banish the WATER monster ’Lord Poison’ from my hand, sealing all your WATER monsters’ attacks!”

The torpedoes exploded harmlessly against the watery barrier.

Kira: ”Submarineroid is WATER Attribute...”

Marik nodded. ”So all three of your Submarineroids cannot attack!”

…