The Fantastic Little Farmer

Chapter 99: Chapter 99: Mass Blind Date Plan

Zhang Yun pointed at his nose. ”You pulled a stunt like that, and you have the nerve to turn around and call me manipulative?”

When he video-called Chen Hui the other day, he hadn’t felt too strongly about it, merely regretting the missed opportunity as a twist of fate. But now, finding out that Yang Bo had stolen the letter completely changed things. If this bastard hadn’t sabotaged them, he might have gotten together with Chen Hui years ago!

”Don’t—don’t hit him. We’re all classmates here,” Liu Yu said.

”Right. Yang Bo... he definitely deserves a beating, and I want to hit him too! But it’s been so long, hasn’t it?”

Liu Yu and Gao Dajin hurriedly tried to smooth things over, holding Zhang Yun back.

Zhang Yun shot the two of them a glance. ”Take him away. How can he have the cheek to ask me for money after acting like this? Do I look like I care about a hundred thousand? Look at that!”

When he returned earlier, he had casually tossed a document bag onto the cabinet. Now, he deliberately grabbed it and opened it for them to see. ”I just went out for a stroll today, and someone handed me fifty thousand.”

Yang Bo was seething with rage after being slapped, especially since it had reignited their old rivalry over a girl. However, the moment he saw the fifty thousand in cash, his anger evaporated! He was here to borrow money; he had checked his pride at the door the moment he arrived.

Gao Dajin and Liu Yu couldn’t help but feel envious. What on earth was he doing? Earning fifty thousand just like that, and tossing it around so casually...

”Um, is there any way to make a fortune? Take your old classmates along,” one asked.

”Yeah, yeah. You can have the lion’s share, and we’ll just take the scraps.”

Hearing these two trying to steal his thunder, Yang Bo immediately threw caution to the wind. ”Zhang Yun! I apologize. I was young and immature back then, which is why I did such a thing. Fortunately, you and Chen Hui have both grown into excellent people, and you can still be together. I...”

They had brought their own liquor and had drunk a little during the meal. Now, Yang Bo grabbed the remaining half-bottle of baijiu and downed it in one gulp! ”My apologies are in the drink!”

SMACK! Zhang Yun slapped him again.

The three of them were dumbfounded once more, wondering why he had hit him again.

Zhang Yun immediately started lecturing him. ”Why are you pretending to be so bold and generous? What do you mean ’it’s all in the drink’? What the hell does your drinking have to do with me? Are you planning to drive later after drinking like that?”

”It’s fine. They don’t check in the countryside, and besides, I know people...”

SMACK! Before he could finish, Zhang Yun slapped him yet again.

”Didn’t you say you hit and killed someone while driving drunk, and that’s why you need to borrow money for compensation? And you’re still drinking like a maniac, planning to drive later? Is this about whether they check or whether you know people?”

Zhang Yun’s words made Liu Yu and Gao Dajin flush with embarrassment. Yang Bo, having downed the extra liquor, was a bit dizzy.

”If you get yourselves killed in a crash, that’s your own business, but don’t drag innocent people down with you! If you drink at my house and then get into an accident, it’ll weigh on my conscience!”

”I didn’t drink earlier,” Gao Dajin said weakly. ”I was planning to drive us back.”

”Are you sure?” Zhang Yun glared at him.

”Really!”

In truth, they all felt Zhang Yun was making a mountain out of a molehill. In the rural counties, many people thought it was fine to drive after a few drinks, as long as they weren’t drunk. Even if they had concerns, it wasn’t about getting into a car crash, but about police checkpoints! Many people would then brag about having connections and knowing someone who could bail them out. Fortunately, due to the low population density and far fewer cars, there weren’t too many drunk driving accidents, and the few that did occur mostly involved driving into ditches.

Zhang Yun didn’t need an excuse anymore and outright kicked them out. ”Take him and get out! And take the stuff you bought with you. I don’t give a damn about it!”

Liu Yu and Gao Dajin couldn’t really argue. ”Those were gifts for your dad. It wouldn’t be proper to take them back! We’ll take Yang Bo and leave right now.”

Yang Bo shook his head and followed the two of them outside. Zhang Fu came out of the kitchen and exchanged a few polite pleasantries, telling them to visit again soon.

Yang Bo suddenly snapped out of it, thinking, ”Why did I come here again? I came to borrow money! Why did I down all that baijiu just now? To show my sincere apology, so I could borrow money! How did I end up inexplicably getting slapped several times, scolded, and then obediently leaving?”

”Mr. Zhang!” Yang Bo called out. ”I wanted to tell you... I want to ask Zhang Yun... to borrow a little money...”

Zhang Yun hadn’t walked them out. Hearing Yang Bo actually have the audacity to ask his dad, he immediately dashed out of the living room. However, he saw Zhang Fu interrupt Yang Bo. ”You said tonight’s food was a little salty? Drink more hot water!”

Yang Bo was completely baffled, thinking, ”What the hell does drinking hot water have to do with anything?”

Liu Yu and Gao Dajin smiled bitterly to themselves. Zhang Yun’s dad wasn’t hard of hearing; how could he mistake ”borrow a little money” for ”food was a little salty”? He was definitely doing it on purpose! Yang Bo might have been thick-skinned enough to cast aside his pride, but it made the two of them feel secondhand embarrassment!

”Mr. Zhang, we’ll be taking our leave now!” The two of them didn’t offer any room for debate as they hauled the ”drunk” Yang Bo away.

Zhang Fu and his son exchanged a smile, neither of them bothering to see the guests out of the courtyard.

”Sigh... still the same...” Zhang Fu shook his head. ”Deal with it yourself. Oh, by the way, your Second Uncle called and asked how things are going with that girl.”

”Um...”

Zhang Yun didn’t want to act like a saint and criticize others. She hadn’t stolen, kidnapped, robbed, or scammed anyone. Even if she was in that line of work, she wasn’t harming anyone. There was no need to cause her social death back in their hometown. Even if her ultimate goal was to find a decent, naive guy to settle down with—which might seem like she was scamming him—looking at it from another angle, wouldn’t a guy who accepted her with a hefty dowry save himself years of hard work? Services that used to cost others one or two thousand a pop, he would get to enjoy for free every single day. As long as one changed their perspective, a cuckold’s trap could actually be a cuckold’s treasure, hahahaha...

”Are you quite satisfied?” Seeing his son smiling without saying a word, Zhang Fu immediately grew excited.

”No!” Zhang Yun snapped back to reality and hurriedly shook his head. ”She’s too far away. Plus, she’s really from a big city. The gap between us is too wide; I’m not interested! Also, tell Second Uncle to stop worrying. Word about the box of cash at our house yesterday has already spread everywhere. Any girl willing to go on a blind date with me now is only after our money!”

”You silly boy! Isn’t a blind date all about evaluating your circumstances? If our family lived in a thatched hut, even if you were more handsome than Andy Lau and the girls liked you, their families wouldn’t accept you!” Zhang Fu didn’t mind if the woman was after their money; coming from a good family was inherently a massive advantage in the blind date market.

”Anyway, I’m sure a lot of people will take the initiative now. Even those guys just now said they’d help me pursue my female classmates. Just tell Second Uncle not to worry.” Zhang Yun casually brushed it off, trying to prevent his uncle from introducing anyone else.

Zhang Fu, however, had a new idea. ”You’re right! Now that yesterday’s news has spread, you’re a hot commodity. But that effect will fade after a while. We should seize this opportunity and arrange meetings with girls right away. We can interview eight or ten of them a day...”

”...”

Zhang Yun was rendered speechless and reached out to touch his dad’s forehead.

”What are you doing?”

”I just feel like you’re getting a little carried away, hehe!”

”Get out of here. I’m being serious! I’ll find someone to introduce a bunch of girls to you!”

Zhang Yun chuckled to himself, figuring his dad must be the one getting carried away! It really was like an old house catching fire—once the flames of passion were lit, there was no putting them out!

”Xiuxun, you’re here?” Zhang Fu called out when he saw Xiuxun appear at the courtyard gate.

”Uncle Fu, we brewed some liquor and brought over some fresh sweet rice wine for you to try.”

Zhang Yun turned to look and saw Xiuxun holding a large bowl. They had been chatting in the courtyard just now without lowering their voices. Xiuxun had definitely heard them from the gate!