Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

The morning sun had barely begun to chase the shadows from the dungeons when Orion Malfoy strode down the corridor toward Professor Snape’s office. He walked with a smooth, unhurried gait, his dark robes immaculate, his expression a mask of cool, aristocratic confidence.

”So,” Sparkle’s voice buzzed in his ear, her interface hovering just at the edge of his vision, glowing a vibrant, anxious yellow. ”Are you ready to manipulate your own father into doing the impossible? Because Lucius hates Sirius Black with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. Maybe use the Potion of Glibness for this one, for a little boost at convincing.”

”Don’t worry too much, Sparkle,” Orion murmured softly, adjusting his cuffs. ”Lucius is a creature of pride and profit. Hatred is a secondary emotion when there is gold or glory on the table. Just watch.”

He reached the heavy oak door and pushed it open without knocking.

The office was predictably dim, smelling of preserved specimens and tension. Professor Snape stood near the hearth, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, his face a grim mask.

Seated in one of the high-backed leather chairs, looking incredibly out of place and profoundly irritated, was Lucius Malfoy. He held his silver-headed cane across his lap, his pale eyes snapping toward Orion the moment the door clicked shut.

”I must say, Orion,” Lucius began, his voice a low, dangerous drawl that conveyed his extreme displeasure at being summoned. ”I was not expecting Severus to call me via the Floo so early in the morning, simply to tell me that you wished to speak with me, face to face.”

He tightened his grip on his cane. ”I hope this is urgent. I have a meeting with the Minister later this afternoon regarding the upcoming budget for the DMLE, and my time is valuable.”

”Then this timing is absolutely perfect, Father,” Orion said smoothly, walking into the center of the room and remaining standing, projecting an aura of complete control.

”The reason I requested this meeting,” Orion continued, his voice dropping into a serious, business-like register, ”is because I have acquired extremely sensitive, highly actionable intelligence. Intelligence that you need to weaponize before your meeting with Fudge today.”

Lucius frowned, his interest piqued despite his irritation. ”Explain.”

Orion didn’t hesitate. He launched into the narrative they had agreed upon the night before. He detailed how he had grown suspicious of the unnaturally long lifespan of the Weasley family’s pet rat. He explained how he had cross-referenced the missing toe with historical records, and finally, how he had orchestrated the capture of the rat in Professor Lupin’s office.

”Peter Pettigrew is alive, Father,” Orion concluded, his blue eyes locking onto Lucius’s grey ones. ”He is currently sitting in a maximum-security holding cell in the Ministry, having confessed to being the true Secret Keeper and the architect of the betrayal that led to the Potters’ deaths.”

He let the silence stretch for a moment.

”Which means, definitively and legally, that Sirius Black is innocent.”

Lucius froze. He stared at his son, his knuckles turning white as he gripped his cane. He looked slowly toward Snape.

Snape met his gaze and offered a single, tight nod. ”It is the truth, Lucius. I saw the coward alive with my own eyes. Pettigrew confessed everything.”

Lucius let out a sharp, furious scoff, standing up abruptly. He began to pace the small office, his cane striking the stone floor with aggressive thwacks.

”Hmph. That... blood-traitor,” Lucius sneered, the word dripping with venom. ”That entire branch of the Black family is a stain on the pureblood name. Having him free will obviously cause the old families to be shamed. It is an embarrassment.”

He stopped, turning toward the fireplace. ”I must speak with Fudge immediately. Before Amelia Bones makes it public. If we move quickly, we can ensure Black is silenced. A Kiss from a Dementor before the trial...”

”Perhaps, Father,” Orion’s voice cut through the air, sharp and commanding, stopping Lucius in his tracks. ”You might be inclined to listen to me before you do anything rash.”

Lucius turned back, his eyes flashing with sudden anger at the insubordination. ”Rash?”

”I understand your anger,” Orion said calmly, holding his ground. ”But honestly? Ruining Black or having him Kissed does not benefit us at all. It is a petty, emotional reaction that yields zero political capital.”

He took a step forward.

”Sure, the ’shame’ of the purebloods is in question if a Black is proven innocent of serving the Dark Lord. But we already have the Weasleys acting as the poster children for blood-traitor disgrace. Who cares if a single, estranged Black is added to that list? Isn’t it our own duty to uphold the prestige of the Malfoy name, rather than worrying about the reputation of a broken house?”

Lucius frowned deeply, his pacing halted. ”What are you emphasizing, Orion? Speak plainly.”

”I am emphasizing that fighting Amelia Bones and Albus Dumbledore on this will yield nothing but a bureaucratic stalemate and unnecessary friction,” Orion stated.

He leaned against the edge of Snape’s desk, crossing his arms.

”However, my opinion is to join them.”

Lucius looked at him as if he had lost his mind. ”Join them? Champion the freedom of Sirius Black?”

”Convince Fudge to exonerate him,” Orion corrected smoothly. ”When you meet with the Minister today, be the one to break the news to him, framing it as a horrific oversight by the previous administration. Blame the entire failure of justice on Barty Crouch Sr. and Millicent Bagnold for imprisoning a man without a trial.”

Orion smiled, a cold, calculating expression.

”Fudge loves nothing more than pointing out the flaws of his predecessors to make himself look competent. If you hand him this narrative, you get Fudge and Amelia Bones, both in your favor. You align yourself with Dumbledore on a high-profile case of justice.”

He paused, letting the political advantage sink in.

”And since I am the one officially responsible for uncovering this twelve-year-old mystery... the Malfoy prestige is not only protected, it is exponentially boosted.”

Lucius stared at his son, the wheels turning rapidly in his mind. The anger was fading, replaced by the intoxicating scent of immense political leverage.

”Furthermore,” Orion added softly, stepping closer, ready to deliver the final, devastating blow. ”Consider the timeline, Father. Last year, I was responsible for uncovering the Chamber of Secrets, identifying the monster, and ensuring the safety of the school. And now? I am responsible for capturing a presumed-dead Death Eater and exposing a monumental Ministry failure.”

Orion’s blue eyes glinted with absolute, undeniable ambition.

”Due to the Lockhart scandal, and now the revelation regarding Pettigrew... the honor of the Order of Merlin has fallen into disrepute. The public will be outraged that two frauds held the title.”

He looked Lucius dead in the eye.

”I want you to contact our dear friends within the Ministry. I want you to subtely get them to suggest that the best, most PR-friendly course of action for Cornelius Fudge right now... would be to strip Pettigrew of his Order of Merlin, First Class... and instead, award it to the brilliant, young Slytherin who uncovered the lie.”

Snape inhaled sharply, his dark eyes widening in shock at the sheer audacity of the demand.

Lucius stopped breathing entirely. He stared at Orion, his mind staggering under the weight of the request.

”Youngest Order of Merlin holder in history,” Orion whispered, the words hanging in the air like a promise.

He offered a slow, triumphant smirk.

”And the most important part, Father? Neither Albus Dumbledore nor Amelia Bones will fight it. In fact, no one will fight it. They desperately want Sirius Black freed. They need the narrative to work. If giving me a medal secures your political support and gets Black out of Azkaban without a fight...”

Orion tilted his head.

”...they will gladly hand it to me. And we get the Malfoy name written down in history as the saviors of justice.”