Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

The walk to the Headmaster’s office was tense, the only sounds the echo of their footsteps and the frantic, panicked scrabbling of claws against iron from the cage in Lupin’s hand.

Orion walked a half-step behind the Professor, his expression composed, though internally, he was holding a rapid-fire tactical debriefing.

”I have to ask,” Sparkle’s voice buzzed in his ear, a faint edge of concern in her digital tone. ”Why give away the knowledge of the Map? You explicitly stated earlier that you wanted to keep that piece of intelligence entirely off the board. Why the sudden pivot?”

”Improvisation was necessary, Sparkle,” Orion replied mentally, his eyes tracking the back of Lupin’s shabby robes. ”Remus was suspicious. He isn’t an idiot. A Slytherin randomly deciding to rescue a Gryffindor’s pet rat from a cat, bringing it to a Defense Professor, and correctly diagnosing it as a twelve-year-old missing animagus? The ’Crookshanks brought it to me’ alibi is functional for the public, but to someone analyzing the motives, it stretches believability.”

”So you fed him a piece of the truth to stop him digging?”

”I generated trust,” Orion corrected. ”By revealing I know about the Map—and quoting the passphrase—I established a connection. Furthermore, in this entire Pettigrew scenario, Remus owes me profoundly. I am the one responsible for clearing his best friend’s name, saving Sirius from Azkaban, and bringing the true architect of the Potters’ deaths into the light. The emotional debt he incurs tonight is staggering.”

He smoothed his cuff as they rounded a corner.

”Remus won’t betray my possession of the Map. He won’t demand I hand it over or anything. Of all the Marauders, he was the most sensible. He enjoyed the pranks, yes, but he wasn’t fixated on them like James or Sirius. As long as he believes the Map is being used to ’manage mischief’ safely, he will keep my secret.”

”It’s your call,” Sparkle conceded. ”But you are juggling a lot of live explosives right now. If one drops...”

”Then I catch it,” Orion said firmly.

They reached the stone gargoyle guarding the Headmaster’s tower.

”Ice Mice,” Lupin muttered, his voice strained.

The gargoyle leaped aside, and they ascended the moving spiral staircase in silence.

As the heavy oak door swung open, the warmth of the Headmaster’s office spilled out to greet them. Albus Dumbledore was standing behind his desk, looking alert and deeply concerned. Fawkes the Phoenix let out a soft trill from his golden perch.

Dumbledore’s eyes darted from Lupin’s pale, scarred face to the iron cage in his hand. Then, his gaze shifted slightly, landing on the dark-haired boy standing calmly in the Professor’s shadow.

The concern on Dumbledore’s face wavered, replaced instantly by a look of profound, almost comical resignation. He let out a long, heavy sigh that ruffled his silver beard.

”Orion,” Dumbledore murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose beneath his half-moon spectacles. ”Now what kind of new, paradigm-shifting trouble have you unearthed this time?”

”I assure you, Headmaster,” Orion replied smoothly, offering a polite bow, ”I am merely a concerned citizen facilitating the delivery of a pest control issue.”

Lupin didn’t smile. He stepped forward and placed the heavy iron cage squarely in the center of Dumbledore’s polished desk with a resounding clank. The rat inside squealed, cowering in the corner.

”Peter Pettigrew is alive, Albus,” Lupin stated, his voice flat, stripped of all emotion in an attempt to maintain control. ”There is a very strong chance that Sirius is entirely innocent.”

Dumbledore froze. The air in the office seemed to stand still. He stared at the rat in the cage, then slowly looked up at Lupin, his blue eyes widening with sheer disbelief.

”What?” Dumbledore breathed, the single word carrying the weight of a dozen questions. ”Remus, how is this possible? Peter was destroyed. All that was left was a finger.”

Lupin opened his mouth to explain, then hesitated. He cast a quick, uncomfortable glance back at Orion. It was clear he was about to reveal information that was deeply personal, highly illegal, and potentially dangerous to discuss in front of a thirteen-year-old student.

Orion sighed, recognizing the hesitation.

”If this is about your ’inner Hulk’, Professor,” Orion drawled lazily, leaning against a nearby bookcase and crossing his arms, ”then please, do not worry on my account.”

Lupin whipped his head around, staring at Orion in shock. Dumbledore also blinked, surprised by the casual admission.

”I am fully aware of your lunar affliction,” Orion continued, his tone utterly indifferent. ”And I assure you, I have no intention of saying a word to anyone about it. Feel free to explain the mechanics of your teenage vigilantism without censoring yourself for my delicate sensibilities.”

Lupin shook his head slowly, a bewildered, defeated smile touching his lips. ”This boy,” Lupin muttered to Dumbledore, ”is entirely too smart for his own good.”

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled faintly despite the gravity of the situation. ”I have found that to be a recurring theme, Remus. Please, proceed.”

Lupin turned back to the Headmaster, taking a deep, steadying breath.

”James, Sirius, and Peter were all aware of my... furry little problem, as you know, Albus,” Lupin began, his voice tight with old grief. ”But what you were not aware of was the length to which they went to support me.”

He pointed a trembling finger at the cage.

”During our fifth year, the three of them managed the Animagus transformation. Illegally. Specifically, to keep me company during the full moons. An animal mind is less susceptible to a werewolf’s aggression.”

Dumbledore’s jaw tightened. ”Animagi. All three of them.”

”Yes,” Lupin confirmed grimly. ”James was a stag. Sirius was a large, black dog. And Peter...”

Lupin glared down at the shivering, fat grey rat huddled against the iron bars, the missing toe on its front paw starkly visible.

”...and that over there, Headmaster, is Peter Pettigrew.”