The Dark Rebirth of Pandora: Revenge of the Abyss

Chapter 106: Discussion in the kitchen

”Finally, a break...” I throw myself on the couch now that I’ve passed the first phase, I just need to prepare for the second phase.

”Pandora, don’t you think you’re too relaxed?” Violet speaks to me in an arrogant tone.

”Tsk, leave me alone” The harvests were good, I was able to discover some unique new skills during this competition and even more of them will be revealed over time.

”Violet, let’s have dinner together? You practically sleep all the time, I’m sure you can stay awake for a while.”

”Of course I can, I’m amazing and powerful, I would never be weak to the point of not being able to stay awake.”

”Perfect, then if you’re so amazing, could you eat with me?”

”...” She’s silent.

”As I thought, it seems you’re not all that after all.”

”I can, if I take on a humanoid form made entirely of mana, I can easily eat something.”

”...Of course...a humanoid form? Can you transform into a person?...you have a body and didn’t tell me?” I’m surprised by this news and soon come the indignation.

”...Useless sword.”

”W-What, why am I useless?” If she has a human form, she could have helped me in many situations, even if it was just to serve as a shield.

”You could have helped me a lot more having a body, why did you never tell me or do anything? You’re incompetent.” A true cursed sword, she’s a complete damn bitch.

”I couldn’t do anything, what’s the point of having a body if I didn’t have enough mana to fight with it? Besides, it was you who never asked what I could do, you’re the incompetent one.” And so we argue for a while.

”...” ”Okay, let’s have dinner soon, I want to try cooking.” There are many ways to gain even more love from my beloved, and I’m willing to try them all.

”It’s good that you have a body now, I’ll let you try it out.”

”...Tsk, spending mana to eat food, what a waste.” she retorts with a complaint that makes some sense.

”Can’t you recover mana by converting the food into mana? Or eat things that have a lot of mana to recover?” I raise a question that comes to my mind.

”...Oh...that’s right...I could...” She speaks in a tone that’s half shocked, half surprised.

”Don’t tell me...you didn’t think of that?” She remains completely silent.

”You incompetent, mindless fool, how could you not even think of that?” I wonder if she’s been affected by various things that cause drowsiness and reduce her IQ, or if she just loves to sleep.

Maybe like the Spaniards and their ”siesta” or the Italians with their ”pennichella”, maybe even the Bahian Brazilians with their daily nap.

No matter the reason, she sleeps too much and is as dumb as a post, how can someone forget that they can recover with mana from materials or food?

It’s almost like forgetting to eat until you can’t stand the hunger anymore.

”...”

”Now shut up, can’t you? You boast too much for someone who forgets such simple things.”

”T-Then why didn’t you think of it? You’re my wielder.” she tries to retort what I said, but I think the shot will backfire.

”Didn’t think of it? You never said you had a human form, I only found out about it just now, and at the same time I had the idea, you’re the one who’s as dumb as a post and doesn’t think of something so simple.”

”Okay...but it was just a mistake, I lived alone for millennia in that place, so it’s normal for my knowledge to be low and my creativity to have died, you who mock me don’t notice how difficult it is for me.” She speaks in a ”sad” tone.

”Really? Is it that bad?” I ask with doubt, I didn’t know she had gone through that, but it makes sense, being alone for millennia must be horrible, it makes me wonder how my older sister is doing.

”No, I’m just joking, I spent all the time sleeping, so when you found me I had already been sleeping for millennia Hahaha.” She returns to that arrogant tone while mocking me with a prank.

”I’ll double you over.” Her laughter disappears immediately, soon I take a deep breath and give up on this meaningless fight, it’s better to go cook right away, if I pay attention to her arrogance, we’ll argue for days.

I still can’t use my room because the students in the competition have to stay in designated places, in the first phase you stay with your team, in the second phase you stay in a separate location.

Although I could just ask for food to be delivered, I prefer to try cooking to learn, my diet in the previous world was horrible, naturally I didn’t have the means to be cooking.

And now in this world, everyone just cooks for me, so it’s good to see if I can cook well or not.

I soon go to the kitchen to prepare our meal, I light the fire on a stove made with alchemy and magic stones and put water to heat up, I left the fire on high while covering the pot in 30 seconds, I need to take it off if I leave it too long, it’s dangerous because of the power of the fire.

Soon I become curious about what Violet said earlier.

”Violet, could you show me your human form?” I ask her while I’m facing the kitchen counter.

”...Okay.” Soon the mark on the back of my hand glows, the glow slowly forms an image, and after a few seconds the image takes on a form, gaining colors and everything.

”...” I see Violet’s form, she’s about 134 to 137 centimeters tall, with purple hair and purple eyes, she’s wearing a Gothic Lolita dress with lots of frills, the front of the dress is open, showing the black tights she’s wearing, while the back of the dress is longer.

”Hmph, kneel before my magnificent and beautiful form.” She has an arrogant and disdainful face as she says this with a very commanding hand gesture.

”...Is that it? You’re a damn old Loli.” I expected something totally different, not an old lady in the form of a Loli with an arrogant face.

”Old Loli is your mother, you flat-chested bitch.” She insults me with a disdainful look.

”Flat-chested? You little runt, do you think you have the moral high ground to talk about me, you Lolita hag?” She makes an indignant face at my insult.

”Oh, YOU, let me tell you, I’m not flat-chested, I’m small because I have little magic to spend on it, but my bigger form has big breasts, unlike you, you flat-chested bitch.”

”Y-You shrimp, do you think I won’t hit you because you look small and fragile? I’m going to punch the hell out of you, I won’t go easy on you.” I say angrily at this, in addition to insulting my mother, she also insults me as flat-chested.

”Hum, lick the sole of my shoe before daring to try your luck, you flat-chested bitch.” She speaks with obvious disdain while looking at me with amusement in her eyes.

The desire to kick and throw this old Loli out the window only increases.

”Ha, do you think you can, you bottle cap-sized runt? You’re so weak you can’t even take on a better form, do you think you can call me flat-chested when your breasts are so small that the millimeter scale had to invent a new unit to measure them?”

”W-What do you think I’m going to let this slide? Your breasts are so small that your children will need a map to find where to suck.” she speaks in an irritated voice.

”!!! Your breasts are so small they compete with bacteria.” I return the insult with another insult, forming a fight that fifth graders would have.

”!!! Your breasts are so small, so small that snowflakes have surpassed them in size.” She clearly has no intention of giving up and starts retaliating, continuing to insult me.

”Your breasts are so small that a millimeter ruler gave up on measuring them!” I say as the anger starts to increase.

”Your breasts are so small they could fit inside a period!” She speaks with an arrogant and presumptuous face.

”Your breasts are so small that math had to invent a negative number to measure them!” My anger has reached its limit, now this is too personal for me.

”Your breasts are so small that physics decided to study them as a new dimension!” She counters my insult with another insult as annoying as the previous one.

”Tsk, your breasts are so small they make an atom look like a watermelon.” I don’t even know if she knows what an atom is, I just insult her and it seems to have worked wonderfully.

”Your breasts are so small that gravity doesn’t even know they exist.” She offends me and it works marvelously, I can even hear the creaking of my teeth biting hard.

”Your breasts are so small that quantum physics is studying how they still exist!!” I say, retaliating the insult with anger.

”You damn psychopathic bitch, you’re done for.” She speaks with a voice full of hatred and wounded pride.

”Your breasts are so small they’d fit on the tip of a pin and there’d still be space left!” She speaks with barely contained hatred.

”... Your breasts are so small that the microscope had to ask the telescope for help!” I say in retaliation, when Violet hears this, she makes a face as if I had insulted her entire family and ancestors with this phrase.

”YOUR BREASTS...”

BOOM!!!!

She was going to yell an insult, but the pot exploded, making the lid fly up and get stuck on the ceiling while water drips and a bit of steam escapes the pot.

’I forgot I put it on the fire...’ I feel that my Qi has dropped 70% during this fifth-grade level conversation.

”Violet, let’s stop arguing...realize how idiotic and unproductive this discussion is? And the topic is ridiculous.” She ponders for a moment and nods, soon she goes to the table and sits in the chair still sulking.

I wonder what phrase she was going to yell next, and how far we would have gone if the pot hadn’t interrupted.