Reborn in the Eighties as a Housewife with a Space

Chapter 2089: Chapter 2083: Self-Respect and Integrity

”Can you, as a woman, not be so stubborn? Do you think he’s not good, or do you think he’s not as good as the men you’ve dated before?” Qin Xue couldn’t understand what Qing Zhu was thinking.

”It’s precisely because he’s too good that I’m afraid.” Qin Xue had thought Qing Zhu wouldn’t say it, but who would have thought that just as her words fell, Qing Zhu expressed what she was thinking.

”So you’re saying you think those you’ve dated before can’t compare to him, and you feel you’ve been too frivolous, while he’s too pure, and you feel unworthy of him?” Qin Xue carefully dissected the meaning behind Qing Zhu’s words, trying to grasp it.

”Ridiculous, even if I’m not the best, no one would be able to take me just like that. How could I feel I’m worthy of him, and then there’s more than enough to go around.” Qing Zhu bristled, what’s wrong with her, what’s not good enough for him? Although she’d dated quite a few boyfriends, held hands, and kissed others, she hadn’t lost herself, hadn’t gone to bed with other men. How could she be unworthy of Ye Xuan?

”Calm down, I didn’t say you’re unworthy of him. I’m asking if deep down, is this what you think?” Qin Xue looked at the agitated Qing Zhu, it seemed she had touched a nerve.

”No.” Qing Zhu didn’t even know what she thought herself, let alone admit it.

”Then explain yourself, what do you mean, and how do you think?” Qin Xue really was amazed by Qing Zhu, every time they met, they would dwell on this issue for a long time, and yet she would retreat into her protective shell. How could someone like her find happiness? If you don’t open up, who can enter your heart?

”I feel I’m too ’promiscuous,’ I’ve dated so many boyfriends, and he knows nothing. Don’t you think I’m deceiving others’ feelings?” Qing Zhu struggled with this point.

”Have you always thought like this?” Qin Xue never knew Qing Zhu thought so differently from others. What’s promiscuity in this case? Had she misunderstood the meaning of the word?

”Not always, it was only after you talked to me last time that I seriously considered my previous actions. I feel I’ve been indeed somewhat unreliable.” Qing Zhu reflected deeply after Qin Xue asked her to seriously consider Ye Xuan’s situation. It was then she realized she indeed dated many boyfriends. Just the one consolation was, she maintained her integrity, never having gone to bed with a man.

The reason Qing Zhu dated so many boyfriends was because when they reached a certain level in their relationship, and the other party wanted to take it further, she retreated. As a result, she repeatedly failed to settle down.

Qing Zhu’s thoughts were influenced by her background. She was abandoned by her parents, thinking that she couldn’t have been born within wedlock, otherwise how could anyone not love their child? Thus, she must have been born in the circumstances of unwed parents or an affair, making her an unwanted person. Because of this unfortunate background, how could she subject her child to the same life?

Even though some men promised to take precautions, Qing Zhu didn’t believe it. No matter how good the precautions were, accidents could happen. In such a situation, if she had a child, should she give birth or abort? If the man doesn’t take responsibility, how could a woman like her provide a complete home? If aborted, she couldn’t bear it and it would harm her body. This internal struggle tormented her.