Ning An's Wild Wish System

Chapter 16: Chapter 16: My Dad’s Been Gone for 20 Years—You Think His Fate Had Calamity?

Alright!

After Brother Lao Tuo spoke, Ning An still hadn’t reacted.

The viewers in the livestream started laughing first.

”Oh no, is our Evil God Cult’s reputation really that widespread now?”

”Hey, I told you all to be careful, what if you drag Brother Sect Leader down with this~ huh~”

”Wow, no wonder they’re top streamers—they saw through our act right away. Better get out while we can.”

...

”In the Daoist Five Skills, which one is the Little Daoist Master proficient in?”

After re-adjusting his wig, Brother Lao Tuo stared at the screen with a mocking expression.

”What does that have to do with you?”

”What, trying to run away? Afraid of being exposed, huh?”

Brother Lao Tuo quickly used the platform’s privileges to lock the two livestream rooms tightly.

”If you can’t explain it well today, you’re in big trouble.”

”I am proficient in the Life Technique, with a strong understanding of birth charts.”

Ning An sighed, realizing there would be no peaceful resolution today.

”I’ve privately sent you the birth chart, Little Daoist Master, don’t let me down.”

Brother Lao Tuo disdainfully glanced at the screen, lit a cigar, and leaned with swagger back in his chair, letting out a chuckle.

Ning An put down his teacup, looking at the birth chart on screen with some confusion.

”Hmm, this birth chart is quite unusual... ”

Before he could finish, Brother Lao Tuo interrupted him directly.

”Nonsense! Stop speaking empty words, show us something useful already.”

The fans in Brother Lao Tuo’s livestream continued to chime in.

”From what they said, I thought the host really knew something, turns out they’re just bluffing.”

”With even basic knowledge of fortune telling, you wouldn’t just say the birth chart is unusual, so funny.”

”I’ll go out on a limb and guess the host might next say something like, ’Judging by your face, you’re destined for a bloody disaster soon,’ or something.”

Meanwhile, Ning An frowned, examining both the birth chart and Brother Lao Tuo’s face, with an odd expression:

”Judging by your face, you don’t have a destiny of great upheavals, so why does this birth chart indicate bad luck affecting your major fortune this year? And the crisis hits this month, that’s incorrect.”

”You fake Daoist, got caught by me, huh!”

Brother Lao Tuo was startled for a moment, then laughed angrily:

”Little Daoist, are you trying to kill me with laughter, hahaha...”

”This birth chart is my dad’s, he’s been gone for almost twenty years, and you say he has a crisis?”

”Ha, what, has my dad become a starving ghost down there because he’s run out of money? Hahahahaha.”

Brother Lao Tuo had entirely discarded his initially imposing image, laughing wildly in front of the camera.

The viewers in the stream were also laughing themselves silly.

”The bed mites in my sheets asked me: why am I laughing so loudly, it’s disturbing them.”

”This is probably the most absurd case in the fortune-telling community, claiming the deceased’s dad has a crisis, killing me with laughter, hahahaha, what’s next, his dad cultivating as a ghost immortal facing a tribulation?”

”I briefly believed the host at first, but not anymore. Hosts who embarrass themselves this quickly shouldn’t get recommended to me.”

”Host, just end the broadcast, it’s not shameful, hahaha.”

Brother Lao Tuo was even more proud, flipping his wig, with gilded Buddhist beads clinking noisily:

”Pay me sixty thousand and publicly admit it’s all a script, swear you’ll never stream for money again, and I’ll let you off, how’s that.”

Ning An shook his head, watching the old ghost behind Brother Lao Tuo who was unusually excited due to the wide open backdoor, and said seriously:

”A birth chart is innate, beyond human alteration, a genuine Daoist wouldn’t get this wrong.”

Did the comments go completely mad?

”6666, I’ve never seen such a resilient scammer, crashing all the way to the United States while sticking to their guns.”

”Death and Dao disappear! Even if a person’s dead, their lifetime’s crises can’t possibly affect the Underworld. Using a sword from the previous dynasty to cut officials of the current one?”

”Look guys, the host’s face is turning dark, he must be thinking about how to save face after this.”

Brother Lao Tuo hadn’t stopped laughing, and the stream’s viewers continued to burst out in laughter.

Just then, the door to Brother Lao Tuo’s bedroom opened, and a young man walked in, dressed like a spoiled rich kid.

The young man, looking anxious, rushed to Brother Lao Tuo’s side, ignoring the livestream, sobbed as he spoke:

”Um... about dad, his... his grave was dug up...”

”No worries, missing funds, your brother I... what? What are you saying!!!”

Brother Lao Tuo was smiling one second, and the next he changed his expression, shock hidden under the facade of laughter.

Suddenly standing up, Brother Lao Tuo gripped his brother’s collar tightly and snarled:

”What’s going on?”

The young man dared not meet Brother Lao Tuo’s eyes, mumbling:

”It’s Xiaolong and Xiaohu...they found some dodgy method, thinking if they dug up dad’s grave, when you found out, they’d show up and say it would bring you closer together...”

”But don’t worry, I’ve handled everything...”

The livestream fell silent; tens of thousands of viewers were stuck in shock for a full two minutes before any comments appeared.

”What? Damn, damn... damn!”

”Someone give me a slap, did the world flip? Yama himself on stage can’t pull off anything from the Mortal World.”

”Can someone explain, do scripts nowadays go this far, using deep-rooted fathers who have sprouted in the soil?”

”These aren’t Xiaolong and Xiaohu, they’re Wo Long and a Phoenix Chick! They’re wasting their talents in Dragon Country, should be sent to Florida.”

”Never thought I’d live to see a real-life ’Where’s Daddy?’ episode, my stomach hurts from laughing.”

The comments burned like a wildfire, leaving Brother Lao Tuo stunned:

”What he said... is it true? Is it real...”

”What’s real?”

The young man finally looked at the stream as he saw his brother’s shock.

Once he grasped the situation through the comments, the young man snorted coldly and glared at Ning An through the livestream camera.

”You conniving Daoist, you planned all this today, right.”

”Your dad’s dead.”

Ning An took two strong sips, glaring at this young man like he was an idiot.

”Just wait, Changchun Temple, right? See how I’ll get you offline...”

Facing the fierce young man, Ning An remained unmoved, sipping tea calmly before simply saying:

”Your dad’s dead.”

”I...”

”Stop embarrassing yourself here, get out!”

Brother Lao Tuo, large and imposing, acted decisively.

Though his own brother, moments ago snarling at the stream, was now swiftly slapped twice.

”Why’d you hit me, it was clearly his doing, I was helping you...”

Stealing a glance at the smirking Ning An, a chill spread through Brother Lao Tuo’s mind before he suddenly let out a flurry of blustering slaps:

”I applied for the joint stream myself!”

”He could have rigged it in advance? Hah, the absurdity of your thinking!”