Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

The revelation regarding Terence Higgs changed the texture of the game. Orion no longer viewed the older boy as a rival or a nuisance, but as a canary in a coal mine. As long as Higgs was nervous, sweaty, and failing to catch the Snitch, the timeline was stable. If Higgs suddenly became confident or vanished, the endgame had begun.

Orion spent his mornings eating toast and watching the lower section of the Slytherin table with the detached intensity of a hawk. He spent his evenings huddled in his four-poster bed, the curtains drawn tight against the world, the Marauder’s Map spread across his knees.

”He’s pacing again,” Orion whispered, tapping a dot labeled Terence Higgs. The dot was vibrating back and forth in the Sixth Year boys’ dormitory. ”Third night in a row. He’s building up the nerve.”

”Or he just has insomnia because his dad is possessed by a wraith,” Sparkle pointed out. ”That tends to ruin your sleep schedule.”

”Regardless,” Orion folded the map. ”Taking him out now is tactical suicide. If I neutralize Higgs, Voldemort doesn’t just give up; he finds a new path. A path I might not see until it’s too late. Higgs is a known quantity. He is my lead blocker.”

He leaned back against the headboard.

”The plan is simple, Sparkle. I let Higgs run the gauntlet. He clears the traps, takes the damage, and exhausts the defenses. I follow in his wake, stepping over the debris. I intercept him at the Mirror, incapacitate him, secure the Stone, and vanish before Dumbledore returns from the orchestrated distraction at the Ministry.”

”Sounds clean,” Sparkle noted. ”Except for the part where you have to get through the traps yourself. Higgs might not clear everything perfectly. He’s a Quidditch player, not a curse-breaker.”

”That,” Orion said, swinging his legs out of bed and moving toward his trunk, ”is why we prepare.”

He climbed down into his expanded trunk-study. It was quiet, smelling of old paper and the faint metallic tang of the Vanishing Cabinet in the corner. He moved to his chalkboard, wiping away the failed equations for Avis.

”The Gauntlet,” Orion announced, picking up a piece of chalk. ”Let’s break it down. Engineering style.”

He drew a vertical line, dividing the board into OBSTACLE, SOLUTION, and DEFICIT.

The Beast (Fluffy)

Solution: ”I have the All-Speak. I have fifty pounds of meat, courtesy of Dobby the world savior. I have a rapport with the animal.”

Status:CLEARED.

”I don’t need music,” Orion muttered. ”I can just ask him nicely to move. Or throw a steak at the Left one. He’s the greedy one.”

The Plant (Devil’s Snare)

Solution: ”Solar/Thermal agitation. The plant hates light and heat.”

Current Arsenal: ”Lumos Solem. Highly effective. But if the plant is overgrown or magically reinforced...chances low, since even Granger can clear it.”

Deficit: ”Incendio.”

Orion wrote the spell name on the board. ”I haven’t learned the Fire-Making Charm yet. Lumos Solem creates light, but Incendio creates sustained heat. If I get tangled, I can’t rely on a flashlight. I need a flamethrower.”

The Keys (Flying Charm)

Solution: ”Catch the key with the broken wing.”

Problem: ”I am not Harry Potter. I am not a Seeker. I despise flying on those splintery twigs. Relying on my aerial dexterity is a failure point.”

Alternate Solution: ”Bring the key to me.”

Deficit: ”Accio.”

Orion frowned at the board. ” The Summoning Charm is Fourth Year curriculum. It requires significant willpower and visualization. But if I can master it, I don’t need to chase the key. I just need to demand it.”

”And if the keys have anti-summoning charms?” Sparkle asked.

”Then I have a backup plan involving the Skeleton Key I won from the Cabinet heist,” Orion tapped his pocket. ”But Accio is the primary. It’s cleaner.”

The Chessboard (Transfiguration/Strategy)

Solution: ”Play a game of Wizard’s Chess across the room.”

Problem: ”A game takes time. Time I don’t have. If Dumbledore arrives while I’m trading bishops, I’m done. I need a shortcut.”

Strategy: ”Cheat.”

Orion grinned. ”Why play by the rules of the board? I need to cross the room. If a pawn blocks me, I don’t need to capture it. I need to remove it.”

Deficit: ”Bombarda.”

”The Exploding Charm,” Orion wrote. ”Heavy impact. Good for shattering stone statues. Also Reducio. If I can shrink the opposing King to the size of a pebble, the game ends. I know Reducio, but Bombarda is new territory.”

The Troll (Mountain/River variant)

Solution: ”Higgs.”

”Higgs will have to deal with this,” Orion reasoned. ”Or they might have removed it after Halloween. No, they probably won’t do that.”

Strategy: ”If Higgs is unconscious or dead by the time I get there, I need a way past. I can’t use the stink potion again; the space constraints apply there too.”

Status:PENDING.

”I’ll need to think on this. Maybe Confringo? No, too risky in an enclosed space. I’ll pin this for now.”

The Logic Puzzle (Potions)

Solution: ”Snape’s puzzle. It’s logic, not magic. I can solve it.”

Problem: ”What if Higgs drinks the potion? There is only enough for one person to advance. It is probably regenerative, though we cannot take the chance.”

Deficit: ”Fire Protection Potion.”

Orion circled this heavily. ”I need to brew a batch of Ice-Blood Draught or a standard Flame-Freezing solution. I can’t rely on the bottle on the table being full. I need to bring my own way through the black fire.”

He stepped back, surveying the board.

TO LEARN / ACQUIRE:

Incendio (Fire)

Accio (Summoning)

Bombarda (Explosion)

Fire Protection Potion (Brewing)

”Two months,” Orion whispered. ”February and March. I need to master three spells that are years above my grade level and brew a potion that requires specific ingredients.”

”It’s a training montage,” Sparkle cheered. ”Cue the inspirational music.”

”It’s a grind,” Orion corrected, wiping chalk dust from his hands. ”But it’s necessary. I don’t have the protagonist halo, or in this case, Potter Luck. If I walk into that trapdoor prepared for a First Year adventure without a plan, I die in the most aura degrading way. If I walk in prepared for war... I win.”

He looked at the empty space at the bottom of the board. The final obstacle. The Mirror of Erised.

”And then there’s the Mirror,” Orion murmured. ”The final boss. The lock that has no key.”

He didn’t write anything for that one. The plan for the Mirror was different. It didn’t require a spell. It didn’t require a potion. It required a fundamental shift in psychology.

”We’ll worry about the Mirror in April,” Orion decided. ”First, I need to learn how to blow things up and set them on fire.”

He climbed out of the trunk, extinguishing the lights. The roadmap was set. Now, he just had to execute it without alerting the teachers, his brother, or the growing paranoia of Terence Higgs.

”Easy,” Orion yawned, sliding back into bed. ”Just another term at Hogwarts.”