As Aizen in Naruto and Joined a Chat Group

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ??? An unbelievable-level reward?

Doujin Artist: What the heck is with this ”thank you for your support”? What kind of reward is that?

This is an Actor: Haven’t you guys ever bought those prize drinks before? When you don’t win, the label just says ”thank you for your support.” That’s what Gin got this time.

Amegakure Village’s Angel: So you’re saying after Gin opened that red packet, he got nothing at all?

Machete Girl: But if it’s nothing, then why would it be called an ”unbelievable-level” reward?

This is an Actor: Because the chance of getting an empty packet is one in eight thousand of a god-level red packet. Isn’t that unbelievable enough?

Doujin Artist: Hiss, damn! I read the description before. The chance of a god-level packet showing up is about one in five million. But to get an empty one on top of that, it multiplies by eight thousand at night?!

Shark-Faced Guy: That really is unbelievable.

Soul Society’s Villain: So unbelievable it feels unreal.

Pretty Boy from Skull Island: In a way, Gin’s luck has even surpassed Anzen’s.

Lin Fengjiao: I think he probably doesn’t want this kind of luck.

Doujin Artist: Of course not. This is basically the god of bad luck! No, the god of gods of bad luck! The original sin of darkness itself!

Machete Girl: Ahem. Gin-san, are you alright?

Shark-Faced Guy: What’s with him going online and offline nonstop?

Soul Society’s Villain: Probably running away from reality?

Doujin Artist: Understandable. If it were me, I couldn’t accept that kind of gap either. With all the golden glow and red-letter effects of a god-level prize, and then it just says ”thank you for your support.” Who could take that?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft. I know I shouldn’t laugh in this situation, but I can’t help it.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Gin is so pitiful.

Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Truly miserable.

Amegakure Village’s Angel: Don’t give up, Gin! There’s still a chance next time! There should be a chance, right?

Machete Girl: Sister Konan, if you’re trying to comfort him, don’t add question marks! (emoji: facepalm)

Amegakure Village’s Angel: I’m just worried the bigger the hope, the bigger the disappointment.

Doujin Artist: What hope? This is the maximum disappointment already! It’s practically despair!

Wig Guy: Not ”practically.” He’s already in despair. Gin’s banging his head against the wall. [image]

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ? Wig-san… he’s smashing his head into the wall, and you’re standing there doing a peace sign? Why would you do a peace sign now?

Wig Guy: Then how about this? [image]

The picture was still Gin headbutting the wall, but instead of a peace sign, Katsura was giving the middle finger.

Doujin Artist: Pfft, you’re poisonous!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: As expected of you, Wig-san. You and Gin really are a perfect pair of gods.

Even though Katsura was making fun of him and seemed cruel, Gin hadn’t been any better earlier. Just that baguette shoved into Katsura’s butt said it all.

Wig Guy: It’s not wig, it’s Katsura!

Soul Society’s Villain: Everyone, just disperse and let Gin calm down. He’ll realize soon enough that banging his head like that won’t kill him.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: True, slashing your belly open would be quicker.

Doujin Artist: Better to overdose on medicine, at least it would be painless.

Lin Fengjiao: …

Right now Lin Jiu was really confused. Was this group really made up of friends? Would friends say such heartless things?

Curly-haired Guy: You bastards, do none of you have sympathy? Gin-san, me, I’m really going to the other world now! You’ll never see your cute Gin-san again!

This is an Actor: Oh, and then?

Curly-haired Guy: Boss, how can you be so heartless?!

Amegakure Village’s Angel: Anzen-san isn’t heartless. He just doesn’t believe you’d actually end your life. Better to live dirty but beautifully than to die in style—that was your line, wasn’t it?

Doujin Artist: Gin-san said that back then to cheer Katsura up, too.

Curly-haired Guy: Damn it. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut back then and let him commit seppuku on the spot! That way the world would have one less disaster walking around!

Wig Guy: I’ll return those words right back to you. I should never have lent you that magazine ”Golden Hair Paradise”! And now we’ve ended up raising a beast like you!

Lin Fengjiao: What on earth is going on between you two?

Machete Girl: Uncle Nine, don’t mind them. You’re new here so you don’t know—this is just their daily way of bonding.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Might seem strange, but that’s really how it is.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Sometimes I really admire Gin’s mindset, bouncing back this fast.

Curly-haired Guy: Bounce back my ass, inside I’m bleeding right now! Do you even know what being in a bleeding state means?!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Like a woman’s monthly cycle?

Doujin Artist: Pfft—Mochou sis, that was such a weird comparison… I give up!

Soul Society’s Villain: Don’t be sad, Gin. How about I give you this tank?

Amegakure Village’s Angel: Flower sis, aren’t you just trying to get rid of it?

Soul Society’s Villain: Shh, even if you know, don’t say it out loud.

Curly-haired Guy: Are you taking me for an idiot, bastards?! I saw it already! Clear as day! And what the hell would I even do with a tank, shoot fireworks?!

Shark-Faced Guy: Opened red packet, got 1000 points.

Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Opened red packet, got rare item [Human-Human Fruit].

Doujin Artist: Holy crap, Human-Human Fruit?!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: That’s awesome, Rati-san can finally live the dream!

Amegakure Village’s Angel: Congrats, congrats!

Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Hahahaha, Rati is so happy!

And why wouldn’t he be?

The Human-Human Fruit lets him turn into human form—it’s the beginning of his martial arts dream and philosopher’s path!

Full of excitement, King Kong didn’t hesitate to eat it. Even the taste like crap didn’t make him flinch. With a flash of white light—

The hairy black gorilla vanished, replaced by a massive, muscle-packed man.

Truly worthy of the Human-Human Fruit, the effect was incredible.

But there was one big problem.

Sure, Rati did turn into a human, but his height and weight didn’t change one bit. A towering, dozens-of-meters-tall muscle giant now stood on the ground, stark naked.

The distant sunset shone on the scene—it was eye-burning to the extreme.

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