My Alleged Husband

Chapter 882: Chapter 826 Reflection

After thinking about it, Zhang Yichen realized that the person he owed the most was not someone else but his own father. He had forcibly taken away the love his father should have received over the years. All of it had been due to his own actions, as he never considered how much loss they had brought to his father. The love that originally did not belong to him was all given to him by his grandfather, simply because he had forced this father not to return home, because he disagreed with his return, and the grandfather, in stern refusal, shut him out of the house. Everything that led the family to what it is now was because of himself. Given this, what right or reason does he have to once again forcibly drive them out of the home? Is this really the result he should have achieved as a son? Having done all this, does he really have no trace of recollection in the depths of his heart? What he desires will never be found, yet he hurts those who love him the most time and again.

Zhang Zhentian doesn’t understand what reason could have preoccupied his son’s mind for so long. His son had led a tough life and never complained about what he truly wanted. He felt that to survive was the greatest happiness in life, and he believed he had to have everything he wanted at all costs, and if he couldn’t have it, he’d rather destroy it than let others have it. However, the current state of his son deeply disturbed the father in him.

”Child, no matter what you’ve done, I am your father and I will forgive you. Just don’t misunderstand me over and over again. You should believe that I am also a son. I couldn’t possibly be cruel enough to hurt my own father. Even though I haven’t been by his side all these years, and our emotions have grown apart, he is always my father, which isn’t something I can change on a whim. I can’t keep abandoning you. So, I will never hurt him, and when necessary, you should also show a bit of trust in your own father. Even just a little trust could’ve prevented our home from becoming what it is now.”

Child, deep down you know we never intended to harm you over the years. You merely suffer from paranoia, always believing that we live in this house with ulterior motives, looking to harm you. But we are family members of this home, your relatives. How could we bear to hurt you? What good does it do us to do so? We have never considered the loss and harm all of this could bring to us. You should also think about our feelings as parents. We are your parents, no matter what you say about us, we can let it go, but that doesn’t mean everything has no impact on me. I’m not a Saint. I have flesh and blood, I have a soul. When I face suspicions from my relatives, time after time, it also breaks my heart.”

Zhang Yichen knows that what his father said makes sense, but he simply can’t trust his parents fully. After all, everything they’ve done over the years is etched in his memory and he can’t forget. If one day he could truly forget all the mistakes, then he might truly accept them. Allowing them to return and stay in the home already is a step forward; why must they once again greedily seek more of him and continue to seek his acceptance? Isn’t that asking too much? Everything needs time to be accepted. If you don’t even allow for the basic time to adapt, how can he accept them and discern right from the wrong and know if they are truly remorseful?

”Dad, I know that no matter what we do wrong, in your eyes we are still your children and you will not question us. But does it mean that those things you did, those things that happened can be as if they never occurred? Some things cause a pain that to this day is unforgettable. Did you ever consider the hurt you have brought us? How can I possibly forget it so easily? It’s true that the grandfather cried because of what you said, and that’s why I, in a moment of anger, rushed over here to confront you. It’s not intentional, if you see how sad grandfather is right now, can you really bear it in your heart?

Everyone’s experiences are indeed different and the outcomes they lead to are indeed different too. But why does every time have to end this way? I know that the person who has let you down the most over the years isn’t grandfather, it’s me. Because of me, grandfather focused all his love for you onto me. He felt he owed you, so by being good to me, it was as if he was being good to you. He thought I am your son, that I should take on all his love for you. He saw me as you, but deep down, the person they need the most is still you, not me. No matter how much he praises me in front of others, how great he thinks I am, the person they truly need and love the most will always be you. No one can change that.

The emotions between father and son cannot be replaced by anyone.

If deep down you really feel a little sorry for grandfather, then please go and sincerely apologize to him. As time goes by, we will forget all the unhappiness from before, but it doesn’t mean grandfather can do the same. He has suffered more than anyone else and has wanted less than anyone else. But what have we provided him with over the years? He has silently endured all the blows delivered to him, taking on all the pain by himself, because he knows only by being strong can he protect those he wants to protect.

I have stolen so many years of love that should have been yours, and it’s my fault. I sincerely apologize to you. Everything I did was never intended to harm any of you. I just hoped that my grandfather could be happy and be smiling all the time, for that to me is the greatest happiness because he gave me a second life. You should also understand that feeling of gratitude. No matter when or where, no one else’s place can surpass his in the depths of my heart. Because he is my grandfather, the master of my second life!”