My Alleged Husband

Chapter 854: Chapter 800: Aren’t You Tired?

”Zhentian, we shouldn’t resent our own fathers. Whatever decisions they make are their right. The mistakes we have committed are not easy for anyone to forgive, just like how disappointing our own decisions must have been. How could one abandon their own child? I now realize what a cruel mentality it takes to do such a thing. How could I have had the heart to abandon my own child? What on earth had consumed my heart? How could I have been so cruel to my own child?

Now back here, it’s already not easy that my son is willing to choose to forgive me. Why should I worry so much? Wanting one’s own child to forgive oneself and wanting one’s father to truly accept oneself—neither is an easy task. Heaven sees what we do. We have found so many errors, and to be able to return to this home is already Heaven cutting us some slack. All we need to do is to earnestly treat our father well and to give our best to accompany our child in this home. To make this home happy, joyful, filled with laughter and cheer—perhaps then Heaven will truly forgive us!”

”Maybe you’re right. As long as our hearts are full of love, filled with love for this home, and we sincerely offer our hearts and souls to everyone in this home, perhaps in the end we really will earn Heaven’s forgiveness. Because it would bring our father’s genuine acceptance. But how long it will take for that day to come, I do not know.

I don’t know if I am truly afraid that I may die before that day comes. All I want now is for my father to forgive me so that I can truly return to this home. It may seem like a simple thing for others, but for me, it’s extremely difficult. My father’s deep-seated bias against us is really heavy because we have made mistakes over and over again. He might reluctantly forgive us and let us return home, but to wish for him to truly cherish and accept us is indeed difficult!

We have done many wrong things and made many mistakes. All we want in life is actually very simple, not so complicated. We just want everyone to appreciate our good intentions and to understand our sincere efforts. But ultimately, our ways are always wrong, and with our kindness, we have done bad things and hurt someone. Even though we keep repeating our actions, we still don’t know where exactly we’re wrong and continue to make the same mistakes.

I do not now aspire to earn my father’s genuine forgiveness, nor do I expect him to sincerely accept us and let us return to this home. What I want now is just for myself to be happy and joyful. I just want everyone in this home not to be so sad, so troubled. I want everyone here to be happy and joyous. I hope to bring them joy, instead of pain, over and over again!”

Old Master Zhang listened to his son and daughter-in-law’s conversation. How could his heart, as a father, be untouched? For years, he knew just how much he missed his own child. Time and again, he almost forgot what kind of life he wanted. He had forgotten why his son left him in the first place. All he remembered was the day his son left, he vowed never to return to this home. That sentence, he could never forget for the rest of his life. For a father, it was an internal wound. His own son was right before his eyes, yet unwilling to even glance back at his father!

”You two repeat the same things every day, cleaning the house, doing the household chores. Aren’t you two tired? Or do you think doing so will gain my sincere forgiveness? In reality, it’s just not possible. I know better than anyone that’s how it will end up!

When you chose to leave this home back then, you abandoned everything in it. Whatever happened here had nothing to do with you. Your actions broke everyone’s heart in this home. Didn’t you know how much of a heavy blow your past actions would bring to this family?

Kinship is not for you to hurt and return as you wish, thinking a single ’sorry’ will solve everything. Sorry is not a cure-all.

If I had turned you away at the door, would you believe a simple sorry from me would be genuine? Would you think I had no intention of shutting the door on you? Would my apology make you drop all your prejudice and bias against me?

Deep inside, you both know the answer. No one can forgive just because of a sorry. That forgiveness is not true forgiveness. Only through genuine actions can we prove we understand our mistakes and seek others’ forgiveness, not expecting everyone to sincerely forgive and accept you with a mere sorry. That’s unrealistic!

These past few years, you both know the mistakes you’ve made. It’s not that anyone can really forgive you. Your son, however, has truly let go of all bias because he’s happy that his parents want to return to his side, proving that his parents genuinely love him. But for me, as a father, I cannot. I watched him grow up and experienced his hardships firsthand. He was in so much pain every day, yet he never complained to anyone.

The person who deserves your apology is not me, but your child. I let you return to this home also for his sake. I couldn’t bear to see him lose his parents time and again. Now that he’s established his own family, he deserves his parents by his side. Moreover, his child hopes for the company of grandparents.

As for your wish to gain my forgiveness, it’s possible you may never receive it in this lifetime. If you’re tired, you don’t need to do these things. If you are doing them in hopes of my forgiveness, then it’s truly unnecessary!”