My Perfect Isekai: Pragmatic Protagonist, Progression Fantasy and Strategy

The door of the Adventurers Guild in Oakhaven yielded under my boot. The interior hit my face with the stench of sour beer and rusted steel. I rubbed my tired eyes with the back of my hand. I yawned shortly. The main hall was bursting with mercenaries. The crowd of amateurs shouted, pushed with elbows, and waved clay mugs. They bragged about killing some trash rats in the city sewers. The noise drilled into my skull. I scratched my neck. I completely ignored this pathetic theater.

I walked straight to the main counter. Shnee marched right behind my left shoulder. Her dark silk dress rustled quietly with every step. She ignored the whistles of drunken idiots at the side tables. The receptionist was drowning in stacks of paper. I leaned my elbows against the worn wood. I pulled a bright silver coin from my coat pocket and placed the metal on the documents with a metallic clink.

The girl looked up instantly, and the coin vanished into her apron with lightning speed. ”Registration form for my partner,” I threw calmly. ”For yesterday”. The magic of the bribe worked flawlessly. A clean parchment slid out of the drawer. The formalities took exactly one minute. Shnee officially entered the adventurer system. The base gained a legal Pillar.

Before I could turn away from the counter, a disgusting laugh reached me from the side. I smelled digested alcohol. A massively built thug approached our station. He had a dented breastplate. An axe hung at his belt. He staggered slightly, hitting his shoulder against a wooden post. ”Oh, please. And who is this doll?” the mercenary wheezed, stopping his dull gaze on Shnee’s hips. ”Are you lost, pointy-ears? Maybe you would prefer a real man in armor instead of this fop in a coat?”.

Silence fell at the neighboring tables. I didn’t even take my hands out of my pockets. I sighed heavily. I adjusted my collar, feeling growing irritation. The same boring scheme again. I shifted my gaze to the elf. My sapphire eyes transmitted one silent, direct message to her.

You have authorization.

Shnee did not cast spells. She did not draw her rapier. She moved with the speed of a striking snake. She caught the extended, dirty paw of the mercenary. With a fluid motion, she twisted his wrist at a reverse angle. Crack. The sound of breaking bones sounded like a snapping dry branch in the middle of winter. The thug howled with unimaginable pain. He fell to his knees, choking on his own saliva. Shnee let him go with complete disgust. The hall instantly fell silent. The mercenaries backed away against the walls, seeing the pale, icy face of the elf.

I looked at the guy writhing in the mud on the floor. ”You misjudged the stats, blockhead,” I muttered. I approached the notice board. I grabbed the first red parchment. A Rock Troll in a gorge outside the city. The reward was ridiculously low, but the monster guaranteed valuable, untaxed loot for Silas. I rolled up the paper and slipped it under my coat. ”We are leaving,” I threw to Shnee.

We passed the gates of Oakhaven. The forest trail was drowning in dense fog. The ground was muddy after the night rains. I had absolutely no intention of marching on foot for miles in stinking mud. My pure logic suggested time optimization.

I stopped. ”Hold on tight,” I said. I did not wait for her reaction. I simply picked her up in my arms with gentlemanly precision. Shnee squeaked with surprise and instinctively wrapped her arms around my neck. I focused raw intent straight into my legs. I crushed the space under my boots to the density of solid concrete. I built an artificial foundation out of pure kinetic energy.

I bent my knees. I launched upward. A deafening roar resounded. The sound barrier broke. We sped over the crowns of oaks like an artillery shell. The wind tore at my coat. Shnee pressed her face into my shoulder. She was shocked by the absolute dominance over the laws of gravity. I bounced off the compressed air, breaking the distance in fractions of a second.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

We landed five minutes later. The impact crushed the rocks in the stinking gorge. A cloud of dust rose. I set the elf on her feet. She fixed her hair with trembling fingers. ”That was... insane,” she whispered, catching her breath heavily. ”Pure physics of momentum,” I replied. I waved away a fly buzzing near my ear. ”Focus. It smells of old meat here”.

We moved along the bottom of the damp ravine. The mud squelched under our boots. My radar instantly caught the target. A massive silhouette emerged from behind a sharp turn. The Rock Troll.

The troll sensed our scent. It opened its small eyes. It roared dully. It grabbed a massive log lying in the mud. It took a murderous swing. It wanted to crush us with one blow of the wood.

I stepped forward. I did not draw my weapon. I opened a valve in my weaves. Sapphire Slime shot from my pores. The blue mercury instantly coated my forearm. It hardened to diamond density.

I took the blow on my guard.

The log hit my arm with the force of a falling boulder. The wood exploded with a dry crack. Splinters showered the ground. My slime block did not even flinch.

The troll blinked blankly. It was disoriented by the lack of my death. I used its hesitation. I forced the slime on my hand to mutate quickly. The blue coating elongated. It formed long, murderous claws. I jumped to its snout. I struck with an open hand from the bottom.

The claws went smoothly through the soft palate of the open maw. I broke straight into the brain. I ignored the crunch of the skull breaking from the inside. I clenched my fingers. I simply scrambled its nervous system into mush.

The troll stiffened. Its eyes rolled back. The huge body collapsed into the mud with a massive thud.

I pulled my hand out. The slime hissed. It absorbed back into my veins. The rock armor of the beast remained absolutely intact. We secured the perfect loot.

Suddenly a low growl reached us from the bushes. The smell of fresh blood drew scavengers. Five mutated direwolves emerged from the dark. The animals had festering wounds. Their overgrown jaws dripped with saliva.

I crossed my arms on my chest. I yawned.

”Your test, Shnee,” I threw loosely.

The elf drew her rapier. The silver blade flashed in the sun. The wolves jumped simultaneously from different sides. Shnee danced. Her movements were economic. She stepped off the attack line of the first wolf. She cut its pastern lightly. Frost mana entered the wound. The joint froze with a crack. She brought the predator to the ground.

The second direwolf lunged at her throat. She blocked the blow with her crossguard. She smoothly drove the blade straight into its heart. She pulled out the weapon. She jumped back before the puddle of blood. She cut off the heads of the third and fourth with one spin. The last one started to flee. She caught up to it. The rapier pierced the back of the beast’s head.

I looked at the corpses. Precise slaughter. Zero wasted effort.

”Perfect optimization of movements,” I evaluated coldly. ”Pack the troll”.

We threw the gigantic carcass into the spatial pouch. We returned to Oakhaven on foot. The mud dried on my boots. We headed to the lower city. I completely ignored the guild headquarters.

The door of Silas’s office yielded under the pressure of my boot. It smelled of cheap tobacco inside. The fence was scratching his pen on parchment. I did not even say hello. I opened the pouch. I dumped the intact body of the Rock Troll straight onto his expensive carpet. The crash shook the shelves.

Silas dropped his pen. He froze completely. His brain calculated the market value of the rock plates. He swallowed loudly. He rose from the armchair.

”Dave... you psychopath,” he gasped. He touched the smooth armor of the troll. ”This is perfect. No traces of magic. Craftsmen will kill for this”.

”Prepare the gold, Silas,” I murmured. ”Ordinary silver no longer interests me”.

The fence pulled a heavy pouch from his safe. Gold coins shone inside. Real capital. I grabbed the payment. I nodded to him and left. The economy of this arrangement started to work on my terms.

The evening in the Golden Griffin was quiet. The fire crackled in the fireplace. Elena served us double portions of hot goulash. I ate in peace. I felt a pleasant fatigue in my muscles.

We went upstairs. The room was chilled. I locked the door with the bolt. I threw off my boots. I stayed in my pants and shirt. Shnee lay down next to me. Trust was built slowly in this world.

The elf moved closer. Her cool hand rested on my chest. She buried her face in my shoulder. I felt her steady breath. The base gave her an absolute sense of security. We built the first foundation of the relationship without throwing big words.

I closed my eyes. I listened to the silence of Oakhaven. I was beginning to take control of the market and this city.