Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

Orion stood before the large chalkboard in his trunk-study, a piece of white chalk clicking rhythmically against the slate.

He had divided the board into three distinct sections: The Incident, The Variables, and The Unknowns. His handwriting, usually elegant cursive, was jagged and fast, reflecting the rapid-fire processing of his Level 2 Mind Arts trying to dissect a chaotic battlefield.

”Let’s review the facts,” Orion murmured, stepping back to look at the board.

He tapped the chalk against the first section.

”The attack on Hogsmeade was not an accident, and it was certainly not a spontaneous Dementor migration,” Orion stated firmly. ”The sheer number of them, sweeping down in a coordinated formation... it was a staged, tactical assault. A deliberate attack on the students, as it was a scheduled hogsmeade visit day.”

”Dolohov was the bait, or the beneficiary,” Sparkle chimed in from the interface, hovering near the board.

”He was involved, yes,” Orion nodded, drawing a line from ’Dementors’ to the name ’Dolohov’. ”But I highly doubt his original plan involved revealing himself to an entire village filled with Aurors. He is a vicious killer, but he is a trained operative. Whatever his motive might be, he was operating safely, from the Shrieking Shack. Revealing himself just to injure a few trainee aurors, seems illogical.”

He slashed a jagged line through the text.

”He was forced into the open. By this unknown individual. The vigilante.”

Orion began pacing, the chalk turning over in his fingers.

”Their duel is what initially drew the trainee Aurors—Tonks and the others—to the Shack,” Orion reasoned, reconstructing the timeline. ”Dolohov, realizing he was caught between a highly aggressive unknown assailant and incoming Ministry forces, decided to scorch the earth. He caused the explosion to cover his retreat, injuring the Aurors in the process. And before escaping, since his cover was blown anyway... he cast the Dark Mark. A distraction, yes, but also a psychological warning to the Ministry. ’We are back’.”

”And what about the vigilante?” Sparkle asked. ”They attacked Rookwood in a tavern a few weeks ago, and now they corner Dolohov in Hogsmeade. It’s almost as if they are actively tracking the escaped Death Eaters’ movements. Why?”

”Revenge, presumably,” Orion muttered. ”Or attempting to finish the war, before it actually starts.”

He frowned, looking down at the chalk dust on his fingers.

”You know, Madam Bones explicitly warned me about vigilantism before she left the site,” Orion recalled, his eyes narrowing. ”Could it be that she suspects me of being the one hunting them?”

”You were literally standing next to Lupin the whole time during the explosion,” Sparkle pointed out. ”You have an ironclad alibi.”

”True,” Orion conceded. ”But it is absurd that she even brought it up. Though... she works closely with Mad-Eye Moody. Paranoia is the default setting in that department. Assuming the suspiciously competent thirteen-year-old, who is always strangely involved in major incidents, is also secretly blowing up buildings in his spare time is not entirely out of the box for an Auror.”

”Could it be you?” Sparkle asked suddenly, the digital waveform turning a curious shade of purple.

Orion stopped pacing. ”Excuse me?”

”Time travel is a very real, very functional mechanic in this world,” Sparkle reasoned. ”And if memory serves from the canon lore... the Malfoys eventually get their hands on a true, unrestricted Time-Turner, don’t they? One that can take anyone back for as long as they want, years into the past, unlike the Ministry-regulated ones.”

Orion stared at the board, processing the theory. ”Yes,” he admitted slowly. ”Nott’s father creates it. It was used in that ridiculous play script to try and save Voldemort, though they completely botched it.”

He looked at the empty space on the chalkboard. Could a future version of himself, armed with an unrestricted Time-Turner, be jumping back to hunt down the Death Eaters before they could cause the Second Wizarding War?

”No,” Orion said finally, shaking his head with absolute certainty. ”It’s not me. I am at least ninety percent sure it’s not me.”

”Why not? It sounds exactly like something you would do to clean up the timeline.”

”The intent fits, yes,” Orion agreed, walking back to the desk. ”But the execution does not.”

He leaned against the wood, crossing his arms.

”I do not suffer from false modesty, Sparkle. I do not consider myself to be the absolute best of the best, nor do I believe I can simply take on any wizard and win purely on raw power, even with the Protagonist Halo acting as my ’golden finger’.”

He gestured toward the board.

”Yet, I am confident enough in my strategic capabilities to say this: if I did end up undertaking the massive, reality-breaking effort of utilizing a true Time-Turner to go on a crusade against the Death Eaters... I do not think I would make such a spectacular, messy failure of the situations.”

”If I wanted Rookwood dead, he would be dead quietly, with a planned execution. If I cornered Dolohov in a shack, I would not engage in a loud, destructive duel that drew Aurors and allowed him to escape. It is sloppy. It is highly emotional.”

He tapped his temple.

”The only ten percent of doubt I have is that a future-me might be deliberately attacking them and letting them escape just to maintain certain timeline events... but that sounds far too convoluted and risky. I would not risk using a Time-Turner just to choreograph a messy fight. I would simply neutralize the threat before it ever reached that point. It does not fit my style. I am meticulous. This vigilante is a brawler.”

”So, someone else,” Sparkle concluded.

”Yes. But for the love of Merlin, I have zero clue who this could be,” Orion sighed, rubbing his forehead. ”Someone with the skill to fight inner-circle Death Eaters, the stealth to remain undetected, and the motivation to hunt them down. A rogue Ex-Auror? A surviving Order member? I don’t know.”

He picked up the chalk and drew a circle around ’Vigilante’, adding a large question mark.

”Since that is a dead end,” Orion decided, ”we bench it for now. Regardless of their identity, they don’t seem hostile toward anyone but the escaped Death Eaters. They haven’t attacked innocents. So, we need not worry about them for now.”

He turned his attention back to the primary threat.

”So, coming back to Dolohov and the Dementors,” Orion said, his voice dropping into a harsh, analytical register. ”The main, absolutely terrifying question that we must answer is this...”

He underlined the word ’Dementors’ twice, the chalk snapping under the pressure.

”How in the hell did an escaped convict get his hands on a controlled swarm of Dementors?”