Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

The side street leading to the Hog’s Head was narrow, slippery with packed snow, and largely devoid of the cheerful holiday decorations that adorned the rest of the village.

Tonks pushed open the heavy, battered wooden door. The tavern smelled strongly of damp earth, stale ale, and something that suspiciously resembled goat. The windows were caked with grime, letting in very little light, leaving the interior shadowed and slightly claustrophobic.

Orion swept his gaze across the room. There were a few scattered, unsavory-looking patrons huddled over tables in the corners, keeping their faces hidden beneath heavy hoods. A handful of older Hogwarts students sat near the back, looking as though they were doing something illicit just by being there.

”There they are,” Tonks whispered, pointing toward a secluded booth near the far wall.

Sitting around a sticky, scarred wooden table were Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Harry Potter.

Orion noted with mild surprise that Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were conspicuously absent. A novel thing, Orion mused. Potter separated from his usual flock. I suppose dealing with the reality of an exonerated godfather doesn’t leave much room for Weasley’s constant complaining.

Tonks bounded forward, leading the way. ”Wotcher, Sirius! Remus!”

Sirius looked up, a massive, genuine grin breaking across his gaunt but recovering face. He looked significantly healthier than he had in the hospital; his hair was tied back neatly, and he was wearing a heavy, warm traveling cloak over a clean set of robes.

”Nymphadora!” Sirius greeted her warmly, shifting on the bench to make room.

”Don’t call me Nymphadora,” Tonks grumbled automatically, though she smiled as she slid into the booth next to Lupin, who offered her a quiet, incredibly fond greeting.

Sirius’s grey eyes moved past his cousin, landing on Orion. His grin widened, carrying a spark of mischievous respect. ”Orion! Good to see you, kid.”

His gaze then flicked to the blonde girl standing stiffly beside the Slytherin prodigy. Sirius raised a single, suggestive eyebrow, looking from Orion to Daphne. ”And who is this? A girlfriend? Starting young, are we?”

Daphne’s pale cheeks flushed a sudden, delicate pink, her icy composure fracturing for a split second.

”She is a girl, who happens to be a close friend of mine,” Orion corrected smoothly, pulling out a chair for Daphne before taking a seat himself, entirely unbothered by the teasing. ”I find romantic entanglements at this age to be a severe distraction from academic pursuits.”

Lupin chuckled, shaking his head. ”Pull your head out of the gutter, Sirius. Not everyone spent their Hogwarts years prioritizing romance over reality like you and James did.”

”Their loss,” Sirius winked.

”This is Daphne Greengrass,” Lupin introduced her politely, offering a kind nod.

Sirius’s expression sobered slightly, shifting into a more formal, aristocratic mold as he recalled his pureblood upbringing. ”Ah. Greengrass. I remember your father. A quiet man. Kept his head down during the war. Smart.”

”Thank you, Mr. Black,” Daphne replied, maintaining a stiff, polite posture.

Lupin stood up. ”I’ll go fetch some drinks from Aberforth for the new arrivals. Butterbeers?”

”Please, Professor,” Orion agreed.

Lupin returned a moment later with three dusty, chipped mugs of foaming Butterbeer, setting them down before taking his seat back beside Tonks.

”Ah, by the way, Orion,” Sirius said, leaning his elbows on the sticky table, his tone turning apologetic. ”I know you must be waiting for the books from the Grimmauld library. I haven’t forgotten the deal.”

”I did not assume you had, Sirius,” Orion replied, taking a sip from the mug.

”The thing is,” Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly irritated. ”Albus explicitly told me to go through that library and check the books before handing you unrestricted access to them. Apparently, he thinks some of the old family tomes are too ’volatile’ for a thirteen-year-old.”

Sirius let out a frustrated huff. ”I only managed to convince the Healers to let me escape that wretched hospital ward a few days ago. I am still getting myself sorted out, dealing with Ministry reparations and finding my footing. I haven’t even had the stomach to step foot inside that miserable house yet, let alone sort through a library of dark curses.”

”It is perfectly fine,” Orion assured him, waving a hand dismissively. ”I am in no rush. You should focus entirely on getting your health and your affairs in order first. The books can wait.”

Orion offered a faint smirk. ”Besides, I have Kreacher. And I believe he is genuinely enjoying his time working at the Manor under my mother’s direct orders. She has him polishing the silver, and he seems thrilled to be back in an environment that appreciates his... specific standards of service.”

Sirius stared at the Slytherin boy, a look of profound, bewildered amusement crossing his face.

”Merlin,” Sirius muttered, shaking his head slowly. ”I still find it incredibly weird. A Malfoy who is actually understanding, patient, and not overtly rude. It feels like a trap.”

”I get that a lot,” Orion deadpanned.

”Yeah, he’s understanding,” Tonks scoffed loudly, slamming her mug onto the table. ”Just ignore the minor fact that his ’understanding’ nature got me thrown into a Saturday detention grading second-year Transfiguration essays! Me! A graduated student and a Ministry official, to boot!”

Sirius threw his head back and let out a loud, barking laugh that echoed across the dingy tavern, drawing a few annoyed looks from the hooded patrons.

”Oh, Remus told me all about the prank,” Sirius grinned, his eyes gleaming with fierce, Marauder pride. ”It sounded absolutely spectacular! A water balloon war in the Great Hall, orchestrated right under Snape’s greasy nose. It was brilliant.”

Sirius reached across the table, clapping a hand proudly on Harry’s shoulder. Harry, who had been sitting quietly listening to the adults, looked up, a small, genuine smile finally breaking through his usual tension.

”And Harry,” Sirius beamed, his voice thick with affection. ”I am incredibly proud of you for your part in it. Sniping Snivellus right between the eyes! Masterful aim!”

Harry flushed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. ”I’m in a lot of trouble, Sirius. McGonagall still looks as if she is willing to assign more detentions to me. Not to mention, Snape being even more vicious in Potions lectures.”

”I am not even slightly upset about the detention,” Sirius dismissed the punishment with a wave of his hand. ”Detentions are temporary; legendary pranks are forever. James would have laughed his absolute ass off.”

Sirius’s smile softened slightly, a hint of old sorrow touching the edges of his eyes. ”Lily... she would have fumed, of course. She would have scolded you for breaking the rules and being reckless.”

He winked at Harry. ”But I guarantee you, the moment she was out of Snape’s earshot, she wouldn’t have been angry for long. She would have been laughing right along with us.”