Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

The alleyway was silent, the crunch of their boots on the icy cobblestones the only sound as Orion and Lupin ventured deeper into the village. The oppressive, freezing aura of the Dementors had largely dissipated, but the psychological chill lingered.

”This does not look like a random, rogue Dementor attack, Professor,” Orion observed, keeping his eyes moving, scanning the rooftops and dark corners. ”The numbers involved. The coordinated attacks in isolated areas.”

”Yes,” Lupin agreed grimly, his wand held at the ready. ”It is too synchronized. It speaks of a deliberate setup. But the question remains: who orchestrated it, and why? Dementors do not possess the strategic intellect to coordinate an ambush on a village filled with Aurors. Someone pointed them here.”

Someone who wants to cause chaos, Orion thought, his mind racing through the list of escaped Death Eaters. Or someone who wants to test the Ministry’s response times.

They reached a small intersection near the edge of the village. Two young Auror trainees—a tall wizard with a square jaw and a shorter witch with bright, observant eyes—were standing near a doorway, speaking urgently to an elderly woman holding a shawl tightly around her shoulders.

”...and please, keep the doors securely locked until the Ministry sounds the all-clear,” the male Auror instructed.

The woman nodded nervously. ”Thank you, dears. Thank you.” She ducked back inside her house, the heavy wooden door clicking shut behind her.

The two Aurors turned as Lupin and Orion approached.

”Have all the students in this immediate area been safely evacuated?” Lupin inquired, his tone carrying the natural authority of a Hogwarts professor.

The two trainees offered respectful nods.

”We have checked all the lanes in this quadrant, Professor,” the male Auror reported crisply. ”We will be joining the rest of the detachment at the carriages now, to ensure the Dementors don’t attempt to interfere with the final boarding process.”

Lupin nodded, satisfied. ”Excellent work.”

The female Auror, however, seemed slightly distracted. Her gaze shifted from Lupin to the thirteen-year-old boy standing quietly beside him. Her eyes widened slightly, and a sudden, rather uncharacteristic flush of shyness crept over her face.

”Excuse me,” she asked hesitantly, stepping a fraction closer. ”Are you... are you Orion Malfoy?”

Orion raised an eyebrow, offering a polite, inquiring nod. ”I am.”

The trainee’s face brightened considerably. ”Oh, wow. I mean... my little sister is a huge fan of yours. She is a first-year Hufflepuff. I have been asking her to try and talk to you for weeks, but she was being too shy to do it. So... could you possibly give me an autograph for her? I am absolutely sure she would love it.”

The male Auror beside her cocked his head, looking incredibly confused. ”Wait, but you don’t have a—”

Before he could finish the sentence, the female Auror’s hand shot out with blinding speed, clamping firmly over her partner’s mouth. She shot him a vicious, silencing glare.

”Yes, of course,” she laughed nervously, turning back to Orion with a slightly manic smile. ”I don’t have a need to get that autograph right now, obviously! We are in the middle of a crisis! After we return to Hogwarts will be perfectly fine.”

She removed her hand from the male Auror’s mouth, glaring at him until he visibly gulped and nodded mutely.

Orion stared at the interaction. He engaged his Level 2 Mind Arts just enough to process the bizarre social dynamics at play.

She doesn’t have a sister, Orion deduced instantly. She is using a non-existent sibling as a socially acceptable excuse to ask for the autograph of a thirteen-year-old boy because she is too embarrassed to admit she wants it for herself. How peculiar.

He decided not to shatter the illusion. It was flattering, in a weird, bureaucratic way.

”Well,” Orion said smoothly, offering a charming, accommodating smile. ”An autograph would not be that big of a problem. But as you just so astutely put it, perhaps we can put it off until after we sort out this current mess?”

The female Auror beamed, her relief palpable. ”Deal! Thank you!”

She grabbed her bewildered partner by the sleeve and practically hauled him down the street. ”We will see you all later! Stay safe!”

Orion and Lupin watched them hurry away into the snow.

Lupin shook his head, a slow, highly amused grin spreading across his scarred face. ”Merlin,” Lupin chuckled. ”Sirius would have been absolutely, inconsolably jealous if he had seen that. A Ministry Auror tripping over herself for your autograph.”

”Fame is quite strange, Professor,” Orion replied dryly.

Lupin turned to face him, the amusement fading into a look of professional focus. ”Now. You said you wanted to ask me something privately, Orion?”

”I did,” Orion confirmed, his tone turning serious and analytical.

He gestured vaguely back toward the alley where the Dementors had attacked.

”Normally, Professor, I would simply go to the library and research any magical problem I encounter,” Orion explained carefully. ”I trust texts and notes a lot. But I feel like this is a specific, nuanced matter which requires personal, experienced guidance. Theory alone is failing me.”

Lupin gave him his full attention. ”Go on.”

”As you must have noticed during our encounter on the train, and again just now in the alley,” Orion began, choosing his words with precision. ”My Patronus charm is quite powerful. The shield I generate is incredibly dense, and I am capable of holding it under significant, direct pressure from multiple Dementors.”

He paused, a flicker of genuine frustration breaking through his calm facade.

”However,” Orion admitted, his voice dropping slightly. ”No matter what I do, no matter which memory I utilize or how much magical force I apply to the casting... I cannot seem to generate a corporeal Patronus at all.”

He looked directly at the Defense Professor, seeking the practical knowledge the books lacked.

”I just don’t know where I am going wrong with the spell.”