I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Lu Yibei eventually still went to the Taohua Road police station.

The police officers weren’t so easy to fool; they wouldn’t really believe he had nothing to do with Professor Ma just because of a few lines of trash talk.

However, he was willing to risk a ruined reputation and being labeled as an “alchemist’s” apprentice to bail someone out, mainly because Professor Ma had also put aside his dignity many times before to get him out of the police station.

One must know how to be grateful!

“Officer, I really didn’t know Professor Ma had such a hobby. If I’d known earlier, I’d have been the first to turn him in. For this kind of behavior, I usually recommend severe punishment.”

The police officer in charge of registration looked at Lu Yibei in a daze for a moment, frowned, and said, “Fill out this form, and you can go over there to pick him up.”

“Officer, you’re really just letting him go so easily?” Lu Yibei pressed, “What if he gets out and doesn’t repent, and then sets his claws on the flowers of our nation again?”

Lu Yibei didn’t really want the already elderly Professor Ma to suffer prison time. It was just that after seeing the student who died in the haunting incident at Tang City University this morning, he suddenly realized that Tang City was now in turmoil and absolutely not a safe place for ordinary people.

He couldn’t guarantee the safety of every ordinary person in this situation, but at least he could try to ensure Professor Ma’s safety.

However, with Professor Ma’s stubborn temper, getting him to obediently leave Tang City was no easy task. Having him stay by his side, before dealing with that assassin who could appear at any time, would probably be even more dangerous. The only way was to find a way to force him to leave.“The matter has been clarified. It was all a misunderstanding. The girl’s family has already forgiven him,” the police officer explained.

“You’re not going to investigate further? As far as I know, he’s been doing this kind of thing for years.”

“….”

What’s with this guy? Would he only be happy if a not-guilty release turned into a three-year sentence?

The police officer fell silent, took the form Lu Yibei handed over, and immediately got up to walk toward the office inside.

….

Lu Yibei waited at the entrance of the police station for about ten minutes before Professor Ma finally walked out slowly.

As soon as Lu Yibei went up to him, he saw Professor Ma say to him with a serious expression, “Lu Yibei, you have to keep this matter a secret for me. Don’t let anyone in the project team find out.”

“If the project team finds out, there’s no way that old Hou Jun won’t hear about it. If Hou Jun hears about it, your shiniang will definitely know. If your shiniang knows, I’m finished.”

“Also, come with me to the toy store later.”

Lu Yibei was taken aback and asked, “What are you going there for?”

Professor Ma said solemnly, “Of course to buy some toys and give them to the little girl!”

“What the-! Seriously, Professor?!” Lu Yibei exclaimed. “If force doesn’t work, you want to bribe her? Are you really planning not to let that little girl off?”

“How about you just let her go? At night, you can just look at me instead.”

To save the little girl, I’m willing to make a sacrifice…

As he spoke, he couldn’t help but imagine Professor Ma holding a brand-new toy and saying to the little girl, “Come here, Grandpa will show you a treasure!”

This kind of behavior couldn’t help but remind him of a very morally questionable “famous saying”-I’d trade three years in prison for a lifetime of your shadow.

Too despicable. To be associated with this, I feel nothing but shame!

“Forget it, don’t even look at me anymore,” Lu Yibei said angrily. “You’re not worthy!”

“You brat! Don’t you know what kind of person I am?” Professor Ma slapped the back of Lu Yibei’s head. “This was obviously a misunderstanding.”

“Although the little girl’s parents generously forgave me, I did scare her after all. I can’t just pretend nothing happened, right? Besides, we’re all acquaintances.”

“Acquaintances?” Lu Yibei tilted his head.

Got it, understood. Isn’t it usually acquaintances who do this kind of thing?

“The little girl’s grandfather is the gentleman who read my fortune at the airport before! You’ve met him before,” Professor Ma explained.

Liu Seer’s granddaughter? Lu Yibei was stunned, then asked in confusion, “Since you already knew each other, how did you end up being taken to the police station? You didn’t really do anything out of line, did you?”

“Well…” An awkward smile appeared on Professor Ma’s old face. “He heard his granddaughter was being bullied, rushed out, and hit me with a few broomsticks until I was dazed. It wasn’t until we got to the police station that I realized what was going on.”

Lu Yibei, “….” The world has changed. It’s actually not Liu Seer hitting people, but his turn to be hit by someone else.

“That’s how it went. I think it’s still necessary for me to apologize in person,” Professor Ma said.

Lu Yibei pondered for a few seconds, then nodded, reluctantly accepting Professor Ma’s explanation.

He might complain, but he knew very well that Professor Ma couldn’t possibly do anything bad to the little girl.

However…

After understanding the ins and outs, it was easy to deduce that it was probably that bratty kid causing trouble.

And that brat still wants toys? Dream on!

“Professor, I don’t think going to the toy store is a good idea.”

“Oh?” Professor Ma frowned, thought for a moment, and said seriously, “I get it. Kids these days don’t seem to like toys anymore? But I don’t really understand electronics and such. Why don’t you help me pick something out?”

“….”

Professor, you’re just too kind. She just got you thrown into the police station, and you turn around and want to give her electronics?

Lu Yibei complained inwardly, then said seriously, “Professor, can’t you give her something more fitting for your status? You’re an educator-how can you give her things that only distract from her studies?”

“I’ll handle this!”

With the New Year almost here, making her spend even the day before the holiday drowning in a sea of knowledge, unable to extricate herself-I guarantee she’ll be smiling with joy! Lu Yibei thought.

“That’s great!” Professor Ma nodded. “You’re right, things like this are best left to you young people.”

So, an hour later, Lu Yibei and Professor Ma appeared on Taohua Road’s antique street, carrying a bundle of elementary school exercise books and two receipts for extracurricular interest classes.

….

As they walked toward Chunfeng Residence, Lu Yibei reminded Professor Ma, “Professor, once we’re inside, just keep praising their child for being smart, having strong learning abilities, and say she’ll definitely get into a top university in the future.”

“As for that stupid and naughty little brat, just leave him to me.”

Who doesn’t like hearing others praise their own child? Especially when the speaker is an old professor-he has to pour this flattery on thick.

Why does it feel like he’s not going to apologize, but to bully that little girl? Professor Ma was a bit puzzled and looked at Lu Yibei in confusion. “Learning is a good thing, why do you have to use tricks?”

These days, if you don’t use some tricks, who’s willing to study obediently… Lu Yibei grumbled inwardly, then explained, “You don’t understand, nowadays parents spoil their kids too much. You have to make them realize the importance of studying first, then the kids will behave and learn.”

Professor Ma nodded and said no more.

As an educator, over the years he had indeed seen many children waste their talents because their parents indulged them.

Every time he thought of it, it pained him deeply.

Meanwhile, at the antique street, Chunfeng Residence.

Gou Meng was chewing on a candied hawthorn, legs crossed, leaning back in a chair, eyes glued to her handheld game console.

Beside her, Liu Seer sat cross-legged on a meditation cushion, following Gou Meng’s instructions, using psychic energy to repeatedly impact the “fetal energy” in his abdomen, speeding up its digestion.

Just then, a knock sounded at the door.

“Knock knock knock-knock knock knock-!”

“Hello, I’m Ma Zhen. I offended you earlier, so I’ve come to visit and apologize.”

The two looked at each other almost simultaneously, exchanging a glance.

“That guy’s back again? He spent over an hour at the police station and still hasn’t suffered enough?” Gou Meng muttered under her breath. “Are you sure you’ve checked him out, that he’s just an ordinary person and has nothing to do with last night’s attack?”

“I’m certain.” Liu Seer nodded confidently. “I’ve been in this business for years and have some connections. He and Lan Sheng are just old acquaintances, and their conversations only involved antiques, nothing related to psychic energy.”

“Besides, I had an encounter with him at the airport and did a reading for him. I didn’t find anything unusual.”

Except for being extremely unlucky, always on the brink of death yet somehow never dying… Liu Seer added silently in his heart.

“….” Gou Meng pondered for a few seconds, then nodded. “Then go let him in. I’ll hide in the secret room first-I want to see what he’s really up to!”

“This place is a great hiding spot, but with so many people coming and going, it’s not a long-term solution. It’d be best to settle things once and for all this time, to avoid further trouble.”

“As you command.”

Liu Seer replied, and the two split up. He went to open the door for Professor Ma, while Gou Meng quickly headed toward the secret room hidden behind the main hall.

However…

“Ouch!”

She had just taken a few steps when she heard a cry of pain behind her. Turning around, she saw Liu Seer leaning against the wall, his face contorted in pain.

“What’s wrong with you now?” Gou Meng said impatiently.

Liu Seer glanced down at his bulging belly and said bitterly, “I have no experience with this sort of thing. When I got up, I accidentally twisted my back. But it’s nothing, my lady, you needn’t worry.”

“….” Gou Meng facepalmed. “Didn’t I tell you? You have to hold your belly like this with one hand, and like this with the other… to protect it so you don’t disturb the fetal energy.”

As she spoke, she demonstrated, one hand supporting her lower back, the other cradling her belly.

She’ll definitely be a good mother in the future… Watching Gou Meng’s serious demonstration, Liu Seer suddenly had this blasphemous thought about a deity.

After knocking, Professor Ma and Lu Yibei stood waiting at the door of Chunfeng Residence.

While waiting, Lu Yibei couldn’t help but ask, “Professor, is that little girl really that cute?”

“Of course. As the poem goes: ‘Her hair covers her broad forehead, her ears like paired jade. Tomorrow at the dressing table, her brows will be swept like traces. Crimson lips outlined in thick rouge, her yellow mouth bright and red. Her sweet words like pearls, her anger quick and clear…’”

Professor Ma recited the poem with a look of rapture. The more Lu Yibei listened, the more something felt off, and he quickly interrupted, “Wait, Professor!”

“Isn’t that a poem someone wrote about his own daughter? Isn’t it inappropriate for you to recite it?”

Although Lu Yibei knew Professor Ma was just expressing his admiration, others wouldn’t know that!

Too much is as bad as too little-that’s why the old man ended up being dragged off to the police station. Lu Yibei thought.

At that moment, the door of Chunfeng Residence creaked open, and when Lu Yibei saw Liu Seer step out, he was stunned, eyes wide.

That belly…

Good grief, it must be seven or eight months along, right?

While Lu Yibei was silently roasting him, Professor Ma stepped forward, cupped his hands to Liu Seer, and said, “Old friend, I’m back again. Sorry for earlier, I startled your granddaughter, so I’ve come to apologize.”

Liu Seer held his belly, paused for a few seconds, then nodded calmly. “Come in and have a seat, I’ll make tea for you both.”

On the other side, Gou Meng was hiding in a secret room separated from the main hall by just one wall.

When she heard footsteps coming from the main hall, she pressed pause, put away her game console, perked up her ears, and pressed herself flat against the wall to listen carefully.

Liu Seer and Professor Ma-one a seasoned trickster of the jianghu1, the other a veteran of the education world-were both shrewd old hands, smooth and polite in their dealings, pushing and yielding in conversation.

Aside from praising her for being cute and beautiful, clever as ice and snow, witty and brave, and saying that if she studied hard she would surely achieve great things in the future, Gou Meng didn’t hear anything useful.

Did you two old geezers really need to say that?

I knew that five thousand years ago!

Gou Meng thought loftily, puffing out her flat chest. Just then, a familiar voice drifted into her ears.

“This… uncle? That’s not how it is. To be blunt, kids these days are deep thinkers! You really can’t slack off on their education.”

Lu Yibei? How did he end up here? Gou Meng’s eyes lit up. She quickly extended her psychic sense outward, and after confirming that the person in the main hall was indeed Lu Yibei, she felt a surge of joy.

She immediately waved her hand to dispel the barrier and trotted toward the main hall.

In the main hall.

Lu Yibei was still oblivious to the big trouble quietly approaching, and was chattering on, brainwashing Liu Seer.

“…She just won first prize in some piano competition, and the mayor himself presented the award! Why don’t you send your granddaughter to learn piano too?” Lu Yibei said.

“I’ve heard piano cultivates the mind and character, helps energetic kids calm down. Let her give it a try-maybe she’ll cause you less trouble in the future!”

“That’s not necessary, is it? She might not be interested.” Liu Seer replied perfunctorily.

“It doesn’t matter if she’s not interested! A child’s wishes don’t really count-what do they know?” Lu Yibei said.

“Look, our professor helped sign your granddaughter up for the best children’s piano class in all of Tang City. It wouldn’t hurt to give it a try!”

“Well…” Liu Seer hesitated.

If it were his own kid, he’d have already accepted the offer.

But the one inside wasn’t really a child-she was a deity!

Who could possibly sway her will?

“Black hair doesn’t know to study early, white hair regrets reading late. Kids, you shouldn’t spoil them-let them learn more, it’s always a good thing, right?”

“Yes, yes, you’re right. I’ll accept it then.” Liu Seer agreed, just wanting to get Lu Yibei off his back and send them away before they kept pestering.

“Wait, don’t be in such a hurry!” Lu Yibei interrupted. “Kids are people too-we should respect their wishes, right? What if she really doesn’t like piano?”

Liu Seer looked at Lu Yibei in confusion, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we should give her more choices, right?” Lu Yibei said, spreading out a thick stack of enrollment brochures on the table. “Look, this is for guzheng, this is for painting, this is for children’s programming, this is for math olympiad, this is Latin dance, this is ballet…”

“We’ve contacted all of them. Within a month, you can take your granddaughter to try every class. If she likes one, or is good at one, just tell the art center staff and we’ll pay the tuition. Oh, and this…”

“Bang-!”

Lu Yibei slammed a dozen thick stacks of elementary school workbooks onto the table. “These were all carefully chosen by Professor Ma. If she finishes them all, I guarantee she’ll be top of her class next semester. When you go to parent-teacher meetings, you’ll have something to brag about, right?”

“And also…”

Watching Lu Yibei’s inhuman behavior, Liu Seer was stunned. Just as Lu Yibei was about to say more, a flurry of light footsteps sounded from behind the partition.

“Tap tap tap-!”

Then came a childish, milky voice calling out.

“Lu Yibei, give me a hug!”

Professor Ma, “???”

While he was still in a daze, he saw a little girl dash in from outside, tiny as a wisp of cloud, floating lightly as she darted past, making a face at him before running straight for Lu Yibei.

Professor Ma turned to look at Lu Yibei, his expression instantly turning odd.

What’s going on? Why does that little cutie know Lu Yibei?

Hearing the call, Lu Yibei turned around in astonishment. Seeing the little girl, he froze, wondering when he’d ever met her, when suddenly she leapt at him.

What’s this? Trying to scam me? If you want to scam me, you’ll have to study up until New Year’s!

With a thought, Lu Yibei tried to dodge the little girl’s hug using his movement technique, but in that instant he was shocked to find her movements were incredibly fast, even leaving a faint afterimage.

He couldn’t dodge in time. By the time he realized, the little girl had already jumped up and latched onto his head like a face-hugging bug.

“Where is it! Where is it! Take it out and let me play with it-you must have those fun things on you like before, right?”

As she spoke, Gou Meng’s hands roamed all over Lu Yibei, unabashedly searching him up and down, even unzipping his jacket and belt.

“….”

Watching a porcelain-doll little loli straddling Lu Yibei, looking unsatisfied, Liu Seer and Professor Ma fell silent, then cursed in unison in their hearts.

Ugh! Shameless! Inhuman!

Lu Yibei, “….” Damn, I actually lost to a kid? No way, I can’t beat her!

Footnote:

Jianghu(江湖): In Chinese culture, “Jianghu” refers to a world full of adventure and freedom, often inhabited by knights-errant and hermits from martial arts novels.