I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Half a month ago.

When Lu Yibei opened her eyes, she saw a canopy of purple gauze, embroidered all over with silver peonies. Beyond the veil, lanterns flickered in the night.

A strange scent of Chinese medicine hung in the air, accompanied by the soft, rustling sound of an hourglass counting down.

She shifted her body slightly, and a wave of pain as if being torn apart surged through her from head to toe.

It was as if dozens of steamrollers had been thrown onto her body.

“Ugh~!”

The intense pain forced a muffled groan out of her.

“Creak-!”

As if hearing her sound, someone pushed open the door and entered, coming to the bedside and lifting the veil.

Hydrangea poked half her head through the gauze, smiling meaningfully, “You’re awake? Now you’re already one of our…”“You were about to say I’m now the top girl at your Customs Shop, right?”

Hydrangea: “……”

“Can you at least come up with some new material?”

Lu Yibei habitually tossed out some trash talk, cutting off Hydrangea’s speech.

However, as soon as she finished speaking, a numbness like an electric shock crept up from her right arm, spreading all the way to her mouth. The numbness faded, only to turn into a sharp, intense pain.

For a moment, she felt as if her mouth was about to explode.

Damn it! Didn’t the PL girl say the world’s malice in me was all cleared up?

Why does it feel like I’ve been duped?

If you can’t even trash talk while alive, what’s the point of living?

Lu Yibei grumbled inwardly, her eyes looking at Hydrangea in confusion, only to see her standing with arms crossed, an unmistakably gleeful smile on her face.

“You want to ask me why you’re here?”

Enduring the pain, Lu Yibei nodded.

“Of course, it’s because my mistress was merciful and saved your little life!” Hydrangea pouted. “Speaking of which, that Big Boss really hates your guts!”

“Do you know, when I found you, you were so twisted and deformed, you wouldn’t have passed any censorship even if I plastered on layers of mosaic!”

Lu Yibei: “……”

I just took a hit, how come she makes it sound so miserable?

Like I was smashed into a meat paste or something?

“Don’t you doubt it!”

Hydrangea curled her lip and continued, “Even after being heavily damaged by the world’s malice, the Big Boss still poured a massive amount of psychic energy into the body of that Giant, almost restoring five or six-tenths of the Hundred-Armed Giant’s miraculous power.”

“My mistress even called in the best witch doctor from Cinnabar Pharmacy. After checking your condition, they just shook their head. If you weren’t a special case, we’d be preparing for the funeral feast by now.”

“Special case?” Lu Yibei pressed, only for another wave of searing pain to shoot across her face.

Seeing her eyebrows twitching in agony, Hydrangea rolled her eyes. “I don’t really get the details, but in my words, it’s probably because your core entity as a witch type haunting has pretty strong regenerative ability.”

“Oh right, the witch doctor who treated you said your core entity as a mythical type haunting is going to be out of commission for a while…”

Lu Yibei froze, then blurted out, “For a while? So I have to-ah-!”

In fact, Lu Yibei had always been reluctant to use the power of the witch type. Compared to the overwhelmingly destructive, grand strength of the mythical type, the witch type’s power felt cold, sinister, and reeked of bloodshed-she could never find it likable.

The PL girl had also warned her not to keep switching back and forth, or something big would happen.

Most importantly, it was The Witch’s Egg that turned her into this mess. How could she not hold a grudge?

Seeing Lu Yibei’s sudden agitation and her writhing in pain on the bed, Hydrangea tilted her head, exasperated. “How long until you can use it again?”

Lu Yibei caught her breath and nodded at Hydrangea.

“No way to tell.” Hydrangea shrugged. “My mistress said she can’t help you purge the power of the Hundred-Armed Giant, which means that power will keep ravaging your body and your core entity until the energy runs out, or…”

She paused, raising an eyebrow at Lu Yibei. “Or, you suppress it, tame it, make it yours, and finally release it as if you’re casting a spell formation.”

“But as for how to suppress that power, we have no idea here. You’ll have to try for yourself.”

At that, Lu Yibei recalled the terrifying, pure destructive force in the arm of that golden-armored Giant, and her gaze sharpened.

If she could use that kind of power, even with limits, it’d be a formidable weapon!

As for how to suppress it, she could experiment in the Dream, just like she’d practiced swordsmanship with Qing Ji before.

After all, you couldn’t really die in the Dream. At worst, just try a few more times.

Is there any challenge in this world that a respawning, shameless adventurer can’t conquer? Lu Yibei thought with excitement.

Seeing her eyes quiver with excitement, Hydrangea stood up and stretched.

“Well, that’s all I had to say. I guess most of your questions are answered. Now I need to report back to my mistress.”

“By the way, my mistress said, once you’ve recovered enough to move freely, you can leave here anytime.”

With that, Hydrangea turned and walked out of the room.

Seeing her about to leave, Lu Yibei propped herself up slightly and called out, “Wait!”

Hearing her, Hydrangea stopped and looked back at Lu Yibei. “Something else?”

“You want to know where my mistress went? She’s busy reinforcing the Big Boss’s seal, building the mint, taking over the Entertainment City, and negotiating profit shares with the Celestian. She’s got no time for you.”

Lu Yibei shook her head.

This wasn’t what she wanted to ask, but the movement of sitting up had pulled at her injuries, leaving her in so much pain that she couldn’t speak for a moment.

“…” Hydrangea bit her lip, hesitated for a moment, and tentatively asked, “Then what you want to ask is why my master decided to save you?”

“Well, my master said you owe her a life. You’ll have to repay it someday.”

As an Eldritch Destroyer, Black Peony naturally understood that if the world-ending factor succeeded in destroying the world, her own fate would be sealed. Even if it failed, it would cause massive upheaval.

In the face of impending chaos, planning ahead and making Lu Yibei owe her a life wasn’t a bad choice.

Moreover, she was quite wary of that powerful entity who had forcibly altered Lu Yibei’s destiny using the red thread of fate.

If Lu Yibei were to die, that ghostly genius might just come knocking on her door.

Owe her a life? Lu Yibei shook her head again.

After resting for a moment, she regained enough strength to speak. Her eyes burned as she looked at Hydrangea and said seriously, “Then what about my [The Flower of Chaotic Parallel Timelines] figurine? It’s still here, right? It has to be here, doesn’t it? It absolutely must be here!”

That misprinted Bai Xiaohua figurine had been pawned by a gambler at the Entertainment City, not conjured by the Big Boss using his power. It hadn’t turned to dust with the collapse of the Entertainment City.

During her escape, Lu Yibei had carefully protected it until the moment she completely lost consciousness.

Hydrangea: “…”

That’s it?

Out of all those items-a legendary weapon, a statue containing catastrophe-class haunting remains, a pile of precious alchemical materials-you don’t care about any of them? You’re only concerned about a plastic figurine?

Sure, it’s normal for world-ending factors to be a bit eccentric, but… what’s going on in your head?

Grumbling inwardly, Hydrangea rolled her eyes and said flatly, “It’s gone.”

As her words fell, Lu Yibei’s eyes reddened, her body trembled violently, and with a “thud,” she collapsed onto the bed. The intense pain in both her body and soul overwhelmed her, and she instantly lost consciousness.

And so…

After seven or eight days of bed rest at the Lanruo Inn Customs Shop, Lu Yibei finally regained enough mobility to embark on her journey home.

Under the night sky, a taxi sped through the empty streets of Hua City.

Zhang Shan listened to Lu Yibei’s abridged story, stripped of unnecessary details, and widened his eyes.

“You’re saying there’s a place like that in this world?”

A gambling city that could fulfill all wishes and a Customs Shop catering to every fetish-these were utterly fascinating to Zhang Shan. Coupled with Lu Yibei’s vivid storytelling, he felt as if he had personally experienced a wondrous journey.

But…

She’s finished her story, so what’s left for me to tell?

As Zhang Shan pondered, his peripheral vision caught the comments scrolling on his phone screen, and his lips twitched uncontrollably.

Daoist Priest Mi beneath Qingcheng Mountain: “The content is overly explicit and corrupting my children. Reported.”

Online Old Pervert 8005: “Male viewers, step aside! Let the female streamer narrate!”

I Come from the Mausoleum sent five rockets.

I Come from the Mausoleum: “A Customs Shop surrounded by beauties, a casino where fortunes are spent, and a wasteland with giant humanoid machines… I’d love to experience it firsthand!”

Online Old Pervert 8005: “The rich guy’s got a point!”

Boiled Mermaid: “Agreed!”

I Come from the Mausoleum: “How about we plan a trip together someday? I really want to touch one of those giant humanoid machines! If I could bring one home to collect, that’d be even better.”

And so, the screen filled with question marks.

When Lu Yibei returned home and opened the door, she immediately sensed something was off.

Slowly stepping inside, she turned on the lights and scanned the room. Her brows furrowed.

Though she could sense something amiss, the arrangement of items was as usual, and the doors and windows were securely shut. Yet, she couldn’t pinpoint what exactly felt wrong.

“…”

Silently, she drew the Pure Lotus Sword from the metal box on her back, gripping it in her right hand. At the same time, she silently recited an incantation, condensing a red flame flash at her left fingertips. Pressing herself against the wall, she cautiously moved through the house, step by step.

Three minutes later.

After thoroughly searching the entire house, Lu Yibei stood in the center of the living room, deep in thought.

Though she hadn’t found any hidden threats, she still felt something was off!

It was as if someone had touched her belongings-even if they had been returned to their original places, her intuition told her something had changed…

Grumbling inwardly, Lu Yibei called out softly, “Hairball? Are you here? Come out!”

Her voice echoed through the house, but there was no response. The little haunting that lived with her had gone off somewhere again.

Lingering in the living room for a moment, Lu Yibei sighed silently, set down the metal box on her back, opened it, and took out her jacket. Then, she headed upstairs.

She had more important matters to attend to.

During her week-long stay at the Lanruo Inn Customs Shop, whether due to the influence of The Flesh Tunnel or the severity of her injuries, she hadn’t dreamed at all while sleeping.

Now that she was finally home, she couldn’t wait to see if she could enter the dream realm and begin conquering the Hundred-Armed Giant’s power.

However, lying on her familiar bed with her eyes closed tightly, her brows furrowed.

As time ticked by, Lu Yibei found herself unable to fall asleep.

After over an hour of tossing and turning, she suddenly seemed to realize something. Her eyes snapped open, staring at the ceiling, and she let out a low growl.

“No! Someone slept in my bed!”

As she spoke, she endured the faint pain radiating from her bandaged body, quickly got out of bed and turned on the light. Sticking her butt out, she knelt on the carpet, searching every inch around the bed. Soon, she discovered a nail-sized mark at the corner of her pillow, dampened by some liquid.

Staring at that small mark, Lu Yibei squinted and muttered, “Damn it! Which bastard was it? Not only did they sleep in my bed, but they drooled too? If I catch you, you’re dead meat!”

Cursing under her breath, she got up and headed to the storage room. She opened a wardrobe door and, upon seeing what was inside, froze on the spot.

Inside the wardrobe, there were originally supposed to be two sets of official flagship “Love and Magic Girls” four-piece bedding sets. But now, there was no sign of the Bai Xiaohua bedding at all-just two sets of plain light gray cotton sheets, so bland it was almost insulting.

“Bastard! Inhuman! Killing the body isn’t enough, you had to crush my heart too-who did this?!”

Ignoring the pain, Lu Yibei let out a wail of utter despair.

2:30 a.m., Tang City, Taohua Road.

“Ding-ling-ding-ling-!”

Accompanied by the soft ringing of wind chimes, someone quietly exited Chunfeng Residence, carefully locked the door, and turned to walk down the alley.

Under the night sky, fine snowflakes drifted gently down from above.

A young woman in a Qipao held a blue-and-white porcelain hand warmer inlaid with silver and decorated with peacock and cloud patterns in one hand, and a slender smoking pipe in the other. She strolled through the snow, making her way through the dimly lit lanes toward the main street.

Amid the wind and snow, her slender figure moved with an unhurried, alluring sway-elegant and natural, like a radiant peach blossom blooming in early spring, inviting pity and affection.

Reaching the main street, she paused by the roadside for a moment, then lightly waved her hand, flagging down a passing taxi. She opened the door and settled into the back seat.

“To Taoyuan tourist attraction… the back gate.”

“Alright,” the taxi driver replied and started the car, heading toward the distant, suburban tourist attraction.

The taxi driver seemed like a reserved man, remaining silent the entire ride.

The young woman didn’t speak much either. After getting in, she rolled down the window, lazily puffed her smoking pipe, and gazed out at the ancient city scenery shifting in the snow outside. Her silk-dark green hair swayed gently in the wind, and her eyes were as hazy as if she’d just drunk half a bottle of vintage wine.

When the taxi finally arrived at the secluded, deserted back gate of the Taoyuan tourist attraction and came to a stop, the driver still remained silent, neither urging her to get out nor asking for payment.

In the silence, the young woman drew back her gaze, lazily raised her hand, and pointed her slender fingertip at the back of the driver’s head. A cruel smile flickered on her cherry-pink lips.

“Biang-!”

With a sound mimicking a gunshot, a bright, slender emerald beam burst from her fingertip. Like the sharpest blade in existence, it pierced straight through the driver’s skull, leaving a spiderweb of cracks on the windshield before vanishing into the valley beyond.

Throughout the process, apart from the woman’s soft hum, there wasn’t a sound-like a spring breeze passing by.

It was as if nothing had ever happened. The young woman stepped out of the car at her own pace. In the driver’s seat, the driver slumped back against the chair as tender green branches rapidly grew out from beneath his skin. Within a few breaths, they formed a massive tree, its roots twisting around and engulfing the entire vehicle.

Making her way along the path toward the tourist attraction, the sound of footsteps soon approached from behind. Two plainly dressed men caught up to her, giving her a peculiar salute-arms spread like birds in flight.

Glancing sideways at the two men, the young woman raised her brow slightly. “Oh? So it’s the two boys from the Zhuge Family? You’re just in time. Take care of the trash over there.”

The two men exchanged a look, then bowed respectfully to the young woman. “At your command, Lady Gou Meng.”

She waved her hand, impatience in her tone. “How many times have I told you? Stop with all these useless formalities-you make me feel like some local tyrant or rural despot. It’s annoying.”

The two men bowed even lower. “Lady Gou Meng’s lesson is taken to heart. We’ll obey.”

“…” Gou Meng glanced at them, hesitating to speak several times before finally sighing quietly. She said flatly, “Alright, whatever. Just be careful when you deal with that trash later-watch out for what’s inside his belly!”

Guizi, also known as Parasitic, after parasitizing a human host, barely produces any psychic energy fluctuation, yet can achieve effects similar to familiars’ marks. When necessary, it can even leave the host and transfer to a new target.

It’s a hidden, efficient, and sinister spell formation.

But…

“What scene haven’t I seen before? You really think you can follow me with this garbage? Their brains must be full of crap!”

“Damn it, why are the rabble always out to get me?”

Cursing, Gou Meng pursed her lips and swaggered deeper into the forest, heading straight for that massive cavern that had lain untouched for centuries.

Someone had their eye on her tomb, and she felt uneasy about it. After pestering Grandpa Turtle for a sum of money, she bought some materials, planning to reinforce the barrier a bit.

But then…

What kind of haunting was Gou Meng? She was the King of Hauntings in this land!

When she went to buy materials from those psychics and hauntings, she could at least get a 32% discount off the sticker price.

And the money she saved… eh hey~! Of course it was for splurging!