The Dark Rebirth of Pandora: Revenge of the Abyss

Chapter 526: Responses of the Primordial Goddess

”Well Oriane, thanks for telling me about the goddesses, but since you’re my grandma, I want to brag a little! What do you think of the element I created? I based it on the manipulation of certain universal laws!”

”Since the universe always needs an action to generate a reaction, and the generated reaction requires an equivalent weight, I managed to create something that, in exchange for a sacrifice, can produce an effect to annihilate something!” I believe I’ve created something impressive.

”Hmm...” Oriane seems to think over what I said for a moment.

”It is an impressive element indeed, though something similar already existed. Yours is more efficient in terms of cost, since you can sacrifice things you can recover later, or sacrifice environmental things that have nothing to do with you.”

”However, it’s a very destructive element, and the prices might someday be too high for you, so you must use it responsibly.” Her praise sends a pleasant shiver down my spine. Being complimented by the creator of the universe is strangely gratifying and makes me give a silly smile.

”Impressive then... Wait, can you use this element now because I created it?”

”Actually, I could use it even before you created it, because this element isn’t bound by the concept of time. If something exists at any given point in time, then I can use it.”

”For me to be unable to use it until it began to exist, it would need to be something that doesn’t exist in the timeline until the exact moment you create it.”

”I see, I see. It’s quite complex... By the way, Oriane, what exactly are you? You’re very... unique in appearance, but I’m curious about what exactly you’re supposed to be and how you came to be?”

”...” She seems to think hard about whether or not to say it, or perhaps instead of thinking, she’s seeing what awaits me in the future with the answers she’s giving.

”I have no race, gender, appearance, or any metric of comparison that mortals use. My current body, as I said, is an avatar, and avatars can change all the time.”

”Though I usually always use this avatar here, so you could say this current appearance is ’my appearance’ since I’m always seen in it.”

”As for this choice of appearance, it was more a matter of me hoping for something good to come from the avatar.”

”...What do you mean?”

”Imagine you close your eyes and grab whatever clothing you can reach in a closet and then put it on. Essentially, I used my powers and let the avatar take on an appearance based on a choice spun from infinite possibilities.”

”...”

”I hope you understand I couldn’t choose personally. When I choose something, it always causes problems. If I were to handpick an appearance, then beings with a similar appearance might say certain things and use that as justification to cause trouble.”

When she says that, I think of Elysia and her arrogant claim that she’s one of the most similar to the primordial goddess, and indeed, physically they share certain similarities.

”I understand. But what about the other question?”

”....How I came to be... Unfortunately, not even I can give an answer. Not because I don’t know, but because there truly is no answer. I simply exist. I was at the beginning of everything, knowing everything.”

”There isn’t a real answer to give. The most one can say is that I had to exist, I have to exist, and I always will exist. Conceptually, mortals have no answer for this.”

”Wow, so you’re really old.”

”Well, I can’t exactly say if I’m old. After all, this universe is still quite young, and although I am considerably older than this universe, it’s not an exaggeratedly distant gap... I think. There was no time to measure it before.” She doesn’t get angry at me calling her old.

”Okay, okay. Now I have a question that will really change how I see you and...”

”No, I don’t eat food. No, I don’t have sex. No, I really don’t partake in ’life’s pleasures’ as you’re thinking.”

”...”

”My life is much more still and monotonous. Most of the time I’m literally static at a point, waiting for something to happen. Moments when I appear to my daughters are the best because I can actually do something instead of just observe.” She answers my questions perfectly.

”Do you get bored?”

”Technically, I don’t feel anything. My true body doesn’t have feelings like mortal bodies do, so I truly don’t feel pain, sadness, love, boredom, or amusement. But if it’s in an avatar, yes, I am capable of having, understanding, and feeling boredom.”

”But if you have no feelings, how can you love your daughters and even cry?”

”Hmm... I’ll try to explain it in a way a mortal can understand. If you have a golem, and that golem cries from sadness, but it has no feelings, is it sad or not?”

”...”

’What a difficult question... The act of ’crying from sadness’ technically would make that a feeling, but golems generally have no feelings so technically it’s not sad...’

”Alright, I give up. The question seems simple, but it’s too complex. There’s really no right answer. I guess it depends entirely on the observer’s interpretation in the moment.”

”Good answer. And indeed, it is complex. You just need to know that I don’t feel anything, but I am also capable of feeling.”

”Amazing. Being a primordial goddess must let you experience very interesting things.” Essentially, she’s always in multiple states. The easiest way to summarize it is that she’s like water, which could be solid, gaseous, and liquid all at the same time in the same place, except with her it’s an infinitely greater number of simultaneous states.

”Yes, I’m capable of feeling, experiencing, and having infinite experiences simultaneously, though physically being part of an experience is more pleasant.”

I like this conversation. It’s simple, and in a way it adds nothing of ’value’ to my life because it won’t help me when I return to the abyss, but I enjoy knowing these things.

”How did you start creating life? Like, is there any motivation beyond loneliness?” I ask this question with great interest. What is her reason for creating life?

”I’ll be honest. I can access any universe, dimension, or place I want. I’ve seen other universes, noticed that ’gods’ in those universes create lives and enjoy caring for them, so I tried to do it.”

”...”

”My true body has omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence. So I truly have a great need for an avatar to physically experience a sensation I might enjoy.”

”That’s why, when I created the goddesses, I also created this avatar to appear to my daughters so I could have those experiences.”

”So, you kind of just saw other beings doing it and decided to do it too?” I ask incredulously. The reason is so simple and dull.

”Yes. Because the life of a being like me is simply infinite, so we have to find some way to keep everything as it should be.”

”I know it seems counterintuitive. If you already know everything, have seen everything, and control everything, experiencing something technically wouldn’t make sense. But that’s wrong.”

”I know what a hug is like. I can feel the sensation of a hug whenever I want, and I can receive the feelings from that hug, but it doesn’t compare to physically hugging someone for real.”

”Knowing something and experiencing that something are different, even for an omnipotent being. That’s why I like using avatars to see, feel, and experience different things all the time.” What she says is quite amusing.

”I was kind of expecting a grand reason for why you created life, but you kind of just created it for the sake of it. That really lowered my expectations about what the universe itself is.” I say, slightly disappointed.

”I’m sorry you feel that way.” She says with her same gentle smile. I nod to her, indicating she shouldn’t be sorry, since it really doesn’t matter.

”You know, Oriane, I really have many questions for you. Many indeed. But I’m sure you know... I should leave now...”

”...” She stares at me for a few seconds.

”You’re quite responsible. Know that I truly would stay here eternally answering your questions if you wanted.”

”Yes, I know. I know I could stay here and you would answer all my doubts, but... I want to earn my answers. Thank you for this meeting. It was fun, and I understand now what you meant about helping with the emptiness I was feeling.”

”...” I stand up, and she stands up as well. I take a deep breath. It’s kind of a waste not to ask more, and I know it, but we both know that if I keep asking, I won’t stop, and we’ll be here so long it will hinder me.

”Thank you for giving me your time... Can I give you a hug? Besides, I really want to give you an experience no one ever has...” She looks at me, her cheeks flush, but her expression doesn’t change, showing that only her avatar reacted, not her mind—as if the feeling of embarrassment itself didn’t exist.

”Alright.” When she accepts, I approach her, giving her a tight hug. I slowly lower my hands and grab her butt, squeezing firmly. Not out of lust or lewdness, but because I want to give her a new experience as ’payment’ for the answers she gave me.

”What do you think about feeling that for real? Is it different from knowing through omniscience?”

”Actually, it’s quite different from what I expected. It’s not bad, but it’s not good either. It’s as ordinary as the act of hugging itself.” I release her, taking a step back after her answer. On her face, she’s back to her gentle smile without any variation.

”I see... I’m sorry I didn’t impress you, even though I think it’s impossible to impress someone who knows everything.” I say with a smile, rubbing the back of my head.

”Nothing really impresses me, Pandora, so don’t worry too much about it. Thank you for giving me this new experience. None of my daughters would have the audacity to squeeze my butt. It seems I have a very brave little granddaughter.”

”Hehehehe, yes, courage is necessary on the path I follow... Truly, thank you for this enlightening conversation. Now, you can send me back.”

”Because I, the current goddess of the apocalypse, still have much to do! I will climb even higher to the top!!”

”...Then I’ll see you at the top, Pandora. And may your effort reward you as you wish.” Again, she says something neutral that doesn’t tell me if I’ll reach the top or not, but that’s fine. I’ll achieve it through my own effort!