My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1280: Chapter 1109: Constant Departures

Having experienced too many separations, too much heartache, no one knows the thoughts in my heart.

They each returned to their rooms. Zhang Zhentian was already in his study waiting for his wife to return. When he saw his wife enter the door, I was not in a good mood. Did he know what his father had actually said to his wife? They didn’t understand what kind of conversation their son had with his wife.

He couldn’t say anything now, he could only wait for his wife to tell him voluntarily.

At this moment, Xia Jing was also very conflicted. She knew that if she didn’t tell the truth, maybe her husband would live in confusion for a lifetime. She didn’t want her husband to live with so much grievance for a lifetime. If she revealed the truth, she might have to face divorce. But was that really what she wanted? All she wanted was for her loved ones to remain by her side forever, but her actions would eventually lose everything. Should she really tell her husband everything?

”It’s getting late, let’s go to bed early. I won’t ask you what you guys talked about today because I trust you. I believe that every word you say is true. I won’t delve into things you don’t want to talk about, nor will I ask you about them. I just give you the greatest trust because I believe you won’t lie to me. You treat me sincerely, and that’s enough for us to be together. In this lifetime, I ask for nothing more. Having you by my side is already the greatest comfort!”

Xia Jing was touched when she heard Zhang Zhentian say such words to her, but she also understood that some things really needed to be said. Why let things become increasingly complicated until they are out of control? Maybe confessing earlier has some benefits. Even if confessing ends in such a conclusion, she would have no regrets, at least she wouldn’t let down the person she loves the most.

”Zhentian, there is something I want to tell you, but you must promise not to get angry when you hear it, and regardless of your reaction afterward, I will accept any decision you make!”

”Go ahead, no matter what you tell me, I will understand you.”

”I want to say, in fact, my heart does not love you. Even though we have been married for so many years, you have never been in my heart. My heart has always been thinking about my first love boyfriend before I got together with you. For him, I once gave up a lot, and he gave all his love for me, but in the end, he and I ended up on a dead-end. Only out of desperation did I choose to be with you. In fact, I considered you a backup, but I hope you let me finish what I have to say!”

When Zhang Zhentian heard his wife say that she considered him a backup, his expression was already flustered. He was more shocked. He didn’t expect that his wife didn’t give her heart to him all these years, she had always lived in a lie. He was a little intolerable, he was starting to get angry, but he also thought to wait for his wife to tell the whole truth, then he would consider what response he should give.

”For so many years, I have never put you in my heart. Everything you did for me really moved me. For me, you gave up your entire family, disregarding your family’s century-old foundation, I have seen all of this. I am really grateful. Some things I really have no way to explain to you. Every mistake I made, I need to bear the consequences. Back then, because I took a wrong step, leading to a complete breakup with my first love boyfriend, until now my heart is still in great pain. You should know how afraid I am when I wake up from nightmares again and again, because I dream about the day he broke up with me in the nightmares, my pain is unbearable. Although I’ve been with you for so many years, looking bright and smiling happily, no one knows when I am truly laughing from my heart. I have never truly been happy over these years. Being with you all, I have always been forcing a smile because I know people must learn to disguise themselves. If you don’t learn to disguise yourself, then you will become a failure in front of anyone in your whole life. I don’t know how to explain to you before, I loved him so deeply until he left me, did I realize how much I loved him, but I had no way to bring him back!”

”Perhaps you feel that it was really unfair to you these years. You gave everything for me, even forsaking your family, but there’s still no place for you in my heart. It’s filled with others, thinking about others. These years, I have always been living in the depths of pain, day and night being restless. I had no way to forget the mistakes I made that hurt the man I loved the most. I have been reflecting on myself over and over, thinking about how I should make everything return to the beginning, how I should act as if nothing had ever happened. I don’t know what choice I should make because I took a wrong step back then and lost the man who loved me the most. Do you know how much he loved me? He devoted all his love for me, gave everything for me, and in the end, I gave him an iron hearted treatment.”

”After he left, I realized that my heart could ache. My heartache wasn’t because of anything else, but because I lost him because his actions made me fall deeply in love with him in my heart. I am trapped too deeply to extricate myself, regardless of time and place, and whatever decision you make, I will gladly accept it. I just want to fondly remember our life together. Even if you choose to divorce me, I won’t give up on him, no matter what choice you make, I will always remember him deeply in my heart because the love he gave me was something no one else could give. He was by my side in my hardest times, held out a helping hand when I was in utter despair, gave me, love, that no one else could give, this time I want to do everything I can, at all costs and by any means to love him, even if in the end I can only return him an iron heart, receive his indifference, I will accept it gladly, I don’t care about any result anymore, I only care whether I let go to love him or not, I only care if I have given my entire heart to him completely, I’m sorry for hurting you!”

Zhang Zhentian was stunned, not understanding what was happening here?

I don’t even know what I want, I have forgotten everything I have experienced, but even the pain I have suffered is already losing everything!