My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1271: Chapter 1100: An Unregrettable Decision

I finally saw everything I once cared about, gradually moving further away from me, and all the thoughts deep in my heart changed everything. I once believed that my original intentions would never change due to any circumstance, yet at this moment, I finally understand what unattainable truly means when I watch everything I care about slip away before my eyes. When I see everything I once accepted, as those memories are imprinted vividly in my mind, deep down, I question if I truly experienced all of it. If I lived joyfully and happily in my heart, could I disregard everything else? But now, in my eyes and in my heart, is this what I truly wanted? Perhaps it’s really not!

”Mom and Dad, I used to wonder if I would regret every decision I made, but gradually I realized that I have no reason to regret the path I chose. Every step on that path was my decision, resolutely made, transforming into the current situation step by step. Who could have known how painful it was for me to be hurt deeply, to watch everything I cared about drift away while being powerless to make it align with my desires? What should I do?

No matter where or when, no matter how much hardship and blows I endured, I’ve never forgotten what I truly wanted deep in my heart. But in your hearts, how did you perceive me? Where and when did I forgive you time and again? Did I ever truly resent you? Yet, your actions towards me repeatedly broke my heart. I can’t endlessly forgive the pain inflicted by my own family, because I’m not a saint.”

Do you still remember your three-year promise?

In truth, Zhang Zhentian understood deeply in his heart that if he missed this opportunity, he might lose the woman he loves dearly forever, but he couldn’t face everything; he had no reason to turn back.

After all, wasn’t all of this his fault? Ultimately, he hurt the woman he loved the most, and he himself abandoned his beloved with his own hands.

He was very aware that once certain mistakes are made, there’s no chance to amend them. Once they become irreversible, no one will allow it to continue. He knew this, which made his heartache even more. Even though his mistake might not be the primary reason, he had to bear all the responsibility, because he wanted his wife to look at him differently, and to do that, he needed to show the responsibility and courage of a man.

”Since we’ve gotten to this point, let’s not say anything further. Let’s peacefully make our final farewell.”

”In truth, you are a decent man. You just took the wrong path. Everything you’ve done forced me to reflect on whether being with you was right or wrong. You never considered what attitude you should have to handle our life together. You only thought of using your power and desires to control me. You never considered what I wanted or whether you could give it to me.

I hope you remember that love is mutual. It’s not about one person endlessly sacrificing while the other waits for those sacrifices to continue. That isn’t love; it’s just the relationship between a debtor and a creditor. I hope one day you understand my sincere intentions.

I have to admit, during these over ten years with you, my heart has been painful at times. You never grasped what I truly wanted, and what you gave me was always pressure and pain. I’ve consoled myself that if one day you woke up and treated me well, giving me everything I wanted, then I’d stay by your side for life, enduring all grievances. But until now, I realize the day of your awakening came too late; I don’t have the patience to wait. I’m impatient. I can’t wait silently like others do for their family’s awakening. I only want to realize my ideals and everything I desire as soon as possible. Perhaps your heart will ache through this matter; whether you hate me or not, I don’t mind. Ultimately, this is my fault; I’ve hurt you and damaged the true bond between us. I have no way to salvage this relationship, and I hope you won’t use any means to stop me from leaving. Since we’ve been so clear, maybe letting me leave, giving myself some space, would be good. Please don’t use your so-called love to tie me to your side...”

”Since you’ve decided to leave, nothing I say will make you stay. Why should I beg and humiliate myself again, letting you trample on my dignity once more? I want to live joyfully and honestly, with responsibility and courage. Maybe in your eyes, I’ll never have such a day, but I hope you can trust that heaven rewards those who strive. As long as I aim to be a responsible man, no matter what, I can achieve my dreams and earn your respect, not leaving you with any reason to abandon me.

Don’t worry. It’s not just your fault. Why would I choose to hate you? In my heart, you are always my most cherished woman. I’ll only remember you fondly, burying you in my heart to slowly reminisce on every path we’ve taken and the days we shared through thick and thin. Those days will never return. You’ve decided to leave, and no matter what I say, you won’t come back. As such, I want to preserve my last dignity. If a man doesn’t even have that, how could he love the woman he cherishes most?

What I might have done in the past could have made you look down on me, but I hope you understand it was out of genuine love for you that I acted that way, even if it hurt you. Until now, I’ve finally realized that no matter how much I loved you, I ultimately hurt you. That pain won’t be erased with any apology; it’ll always remain buried in your heart. Does my harm to you also instill a fear within you?

I hope we can set a new three-year promise. If three years later, you find me completely different from before, and you feel I’ve become a responsible, courageous man, then I hope you give me another chance to come back to your side, and let’s build our world together, staying together for a lifetime.”

”If by then you truly become completely different, I’m willing to give you another chance, and in return, give myself a chance to relive our happy times together, believing each other sincerely, without doubt, regardless of any circumstance, that every decision we make is for the best for ourselves.”

Zhang Zhentian knew this was the biggest compromise Xia Jing could make.

Given this, what right did he have to continue coercing someone to give him another chance for mistakes he’s made? So, he chose to set this three-year promise, to completely change himself, enabling his beloved woman to willingly return to his side, not because she was forcibly returned, so they could spend a lifetime together.

”Since you’ve agreed, let’s both firmly remember this three-year promise, ensuring nothing destroys it. It’s a promise to ourselves...”

”Maybe you two have already forgotten everything you initially promised each other, but I remember your words. You have no idea how clearly I understand it all. I simply say nothing, watching you play out your own drama, while I merely observe!”