My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1159: Chapter 1019 Mental Torture

Old Master Zhang now most unwillingly faces an outcome that is often the undeniable reality before him. He feels that if he could truly turn back time even just a little, even just for a fleeting moment, maybe his life wouldn’t be the way it is now, witnessing his loved ones suffer, watching his beloved family crumble step by step, seeing the person he once wished to run alongside get hurt deeply, again and again. Are these the consequences of his actions? Is this what he had once hoped for? Why does he never attain what he wants, deep down he’s really not resigned. He once poured all his efforts into his enterprise, then gave everything for his grandson, and now must he once more sacrifice everything for the entire family? He’s truly exhausted, believing no one else in the world lives with such weariness as he does.

Even if many people don’t know what he experienced, some can clearly see how tremendous his changes have been over the years. He transformed from a once decisive chairman into an elderly man worrying for his family’s well-being. Yet he never gave up, always believing in his hope for miracles. He vested all of his hope in this, but ultimately, what kind of outcome did he end up with? He received nothing—a fate always so sorrowful, so agonizing. All he desires is just the simplest of things, which seem never within his grasp.

”Don’t say now you lament time flies, don’t say you wish for a life of freedom and ease. Even I now lament why time flies so quickly, leaving me overwhelmed, with no mental response to face everything. When I see everything coming my way, that moment is so painful inside, do you understand? Watching my beloved family turn into subjects of suffering repeatedly, it’s beyond my ability to handle it all, maybe I should have viewed everything indifferently back then, avoiding such a conclusion today. What each of us should do is protect our family so they never get hurt, yet now I can’t do it. I don’t understand for what I’ve turned into this terrifying state, nor do I know why I came to this point today. Everything I once wished for now deviates entirely from my imaginings. How much do I truly want? In reality, I don’t want anything but a simple, bland life.”

”Child, remember clearly, if one day everything turns into what I once least wanted to see, then I should live a life of acceptance. His life might not be your utmost desire, but believe that it’s the happiest thing for someone in a lifetime. You never really considered how difficult it was for me, nor understood what kind of torment and pain you’ve endured this life. What you see is always so simple, unaware of the heartbreaking experiences brought by family. You can’t grasp all this, but I can, seeing clearly the pain each thing endured by me brought.”

”Grandfather, I know what all this once was. I understand clearly, yet I never thought about what kind of life or path I should follow. Maybe everyone once hoped the same way, but do you realize? Living in dreams repeatedly, it’s terrifying, no one wants to live that way continually. Such a life can crumble a person.

I’ve been harmed by my family, yet never thought about what I should truly want.”

Perhaps the path I chose once caused great harm and pain, yet I never intended to hurt those around me. What I wanted was just to make those around me happy, but I ended up hurting my family. I realize my past mistakes—do you understand? What we wish for isn’t easy at all, we wish everything could live simply and peacefully as before, without any suffering and torment.”

All of us traverse our own lives, with our pain and sadness. What we can do is perhaps only just make ourselves a bit happier, but everything done in the end—why? I never pondered what I might become, nor does anyone know how to achieve what they most desire. Everything obtained thus far is filled with sadness and pain. Who understands what I face at this moment?”

”Child, you know you’ve been harmed much, but some matters can’t become excuses for wrongs. Regardless of what you did or became, never forget your original intentions. Maybe you don’t yet understand what you truly want. Step by step, reaching the end, you’ll discover everything isn’t what you truly want. What you want is so simple, yet the simplest desires forever elude you—what would you feel in that instant, how would you face yourself, when once you wished for all this?”

We should live our own lives, never pondering what we ought to possess. Think thoroughly about what to do to return everything to its original state, avoiding the unwelcome scenarios repeatedly appearing like this. It’s a mental harm and torment!”