My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1154: Chapter 1014: Never Forgotten

”Do you really think you now embody what a father should be? Have you forgotten everything you did back then? Every mistake you made, every harm you caused to everyone, can you really pretend none of it ever happened? Even if you can, I can’t accept it. If it were my kin whom I raised with my own hands, I would have the right to tell him what to do. I would have the right to guide him through life. You didn’t strongly intervene in his life choices. You’re not a perfect father, and even less a competent one. You have neither the right nor the qualification.”

”Perhaps you think you now have the qualification to be his father, but have you ever thought about how you haven’t been part of his growth all these years? You’ve never been there for any decision he made, nor for any of his critical moments. When he needed you the most, you chose to escape. When he was most capable, you chose to re-enter his life. Is this what a father should be like? You’re cowardly and timid; everything you’ve done has only been from your own standpoint. When have you ever considered even a fraction of him? Do you think his life has been easy? He’s struggled every day on his own. Watching his journey, one day you’ll realize it’s shocking; you’ve never stood by his side to consider all the pain he’s endured!”

”You think I don’t have the right to educate your child. Then, as a father, do you have the right to discipline him? If you had been by his side, watching his growth, seeing how he’s become today, if you had been there every step of the way through everything he should go through, no matter what decision you made, I would respect it. But do your current decisions deserve my respect? You haven’t given anything, so you don’t know what love is, nor what it’s like to truly love someone.”

”You never knew what heartache feels like, even if you momentarily understood your own heartache, it wasn’t because of your child. You felt heartache because of the consequences brought by your own selfish outcome. Every regret you feel over what you did stems from this.”

”Sometimes, I even hope that the moment I saw you choose me and yourself, then you’d live selfishly, never looking back. Maybe then, what he would have gotten could have been different, and the depth of harm he’d feel inside might have been different too. But now, what’s left for him? He’s been hurt all over by you, his whole being already scarred by your injuries, yet you’re still there cruelly exposing his wounds, pouring salt on them. Is that what you as parents should do?”

Zhang Zhentian faced his father’s questioning of him, yet he found himself truly speechless at this moment. Indeed, what right did he have to teach, what right did he have to partake in any of his matters? All he’d ever wanted was a most ordinary relationship, a peaceful home, a life full of happiness, which he never provided.

But all that he rightfully should have had, he never possessed, always disturbed by his own hands. What was he, after all? Time after time, he turned everything into this, but for what? Why did he harm those closest to him, whom he most wanted to protect, with such methods over and over again? Could it really be because of jealousy? Absolutely not, he didn’t truly want it, nor would he achieve anything no one else could. No, he was afraid he didn’t have the heart to try.

Yet, Zhang Zhentian would never know the great harm and pain his innocent curiosity and efforts brought to his loved ones. Seeing them end up like this, he rather believes that it was all his doings, his self-caused ends, that gave rise to his deepest sorrow and agony deep inside. Why didn’t he stay by their side to accompany them back then? Now, he has no right even to make the most just statement.

”Dad, why didn’t you choose to treat me this way? Do you know that every time I discover something you’ve done, every time I see my child injured, do you really think, as an elder, I feel nothing inside? I’m helpless, and you know that. You know what led me here was my own so-called freedom and sky. Had I not selfishly come this far, would I now be suffering all this pain and harm? Would I want that? Honestly, I’m the last person who wants to see all this. I’m painfully aware of how difficult my own life has been, and I don’t want my child to endure the same disappointment and injury. I’ve been hurt once already, so why would I let my descendants experience the pain I’ve been through?”

”Everything I’ve done in my life could possibly be right or wrong, but every decision I’ve made has been without error. Maybe my life path has deviated greatly, but I believe I’ve never regretted, lamented my past deeds like now.”

”You all think I’ve forgotten every word I’ve ever said. But I’ve never forgotten, because I know everything remains like a thorn in your hearts, an unerasable harm in mine. But even so, don’t we all have to live happily? Even if we’re here with furrowed brows living our lives, what impact does that have on others? What I’ve wanted to achieve is for everyone in the family to obtain the life they’ve always imagined, to live joyfully with me as envisioned. Are you really willing to see this outcome, where everyone desperately doubts each other and never gives the most basic trust?”