My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1048: Chapter 901: Admitting Mistakes

”Don’t worry, I know that every bit of the money of mine you’ve held against me is because of everything I’ve done to your grandfather. But rest assured, I will sincerely apologize to him. I will make sure he forgives me and lets go of all his grievances and hatred towards me. By that time, I hope you will also manage to forgive me as your father. I’ve done nothing wrong my whole life and I don’t want my life to become so complicated and painful. Could you consider things from my perspective, right?”

”I understand that you actually don’t believe a word I say because the harm I’ve caused you is too immense. Have you ever thought about why I’ve done all these things? Why have I become the person I am today? I never imagined that my actions would lead to such an end. Step by step, I laid my plans just to ensure happiness for my family. Everyone has the same initial intention, yet I ultimately became the very thing I despised.”

”I thought, step by step, that I could live the life I most envied, but eventually realized that this is not what I wanted at all. No matter what I do or think, I will never achieve everything I want.”

”This life of mine hasn’t been the happiest. In everything I’ve done, I never considered what I might become.”

”You might even think I’m unworthy of being your father, and I understand that the pain I’ve caused is irreparable. But do you know? As a father, I’ve always hoped my children would live happily. Even if I’ve betrayed everything, I never intended to betray you. Have you considered that? No matter what, I never wanted it to come to that. We became this way, enduring the pain time and again.”

”Child, I truly beg you to try and see things from my perspective as a father, to think about our difficulties. Were our actions truly out of desperation and without choice? Don’t rush to conclusions about everyone’s actions with your resolute judgments. I don’t want that to be our final ending, do you understand? Yet as I get hurt time and again, in my moments of deepest pain, only your mother is by my side. I long for my family to be there with me, but you’re not. Shouldn’t you think from my perspective? My heart was equally in despair at those moments. Don’t you think I feel lonely, worried, and sad without my family’s company?”

Zhang Yichen listened to her father’s words, and she could only cry and smile. She found everything her father did today incredibly ironic, especially when those words entered her ears. She wanted to plug her ears with cotton to block out his voice. She couldn’t understand why hearing these words from her father stirred such deep aversion. Could it be that her father was lying again? Hadn’t there been enough lies already?

”Don’t you find it utterly pointless to tell me these things now? When you did everything over and over, did you think about that moment when my heart was in utter despair, my deep sorrow? I never planned out my life but knew that the people I loved most in this life were my family.”

”Perhaps in your heart, as a father, you don’t love me as your son. But do you understand that no matter where or when, in our hearts, you are our deepest concern? We wouldn’t abandon you for no reason. We gave our all to bring you into this world, how could we not love you? Even though we chose to leave, it was out of absolute desperation. There are things that I find hard to say clearly to you, but I hope you can try to compromise a little, to understand the feeling of having unutterable hardships, can you?”

”Now you’re telling me you have untold grievances, have you really forgotten every mistake you’ve ever made? Do you really need me to repeatedly rip open the wounds harshly, making everyone relive the pain that comes from those scars? How can you be so heartless? I don’t want that now. I just wish for us to be happy. If you can admit your mistakes, that would be best. If you’re unwilling to acknowledge them, there’s nothing I can do. I can’t force you to do what you don’t want, I can’t put a knife to your throat and make you do things against your conscience.”

”Dad, Grandpa, aren’t you both too old to be arguing like this in a hospital public area? I don’t want you fighting here. If you must argue, please find a quiet place where you can do so. As father and son, you can go home and have a good talk about what kind of life you really want. Right now, my mom is hospitalized, and I have no mind to deal with your issues. Could you please try to understand my feelings as the younger generation and realize how distressed and painful this moment is for me? Can everyone be understanding and respectful of each other, put themselves in each other’s shoes, and then perhaps we can achieve the outcome we all want? If you try repeatedly to force others to make choices your way, to walk the same path as you, do you think that’s possible?

No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes; I’ve known this saying for a long time. I never imagined that you would still argue over these issues to this day. I’m really tired. When I suffered pain and torture again and again, neither of you was by my side. And now, you choose to argue like this, using such topics as an excuse. Do you think it’s right? Have I been accompanied by others my whole life; have I enjoyed my parents’ company and care? I was alone enduring all the training and became the strongest. I’ve never regretted, and I hope you won’t use these matters to talk!”