My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1045: Chapter 898 The Wrong Decision

”Child, no matter how you try to persuade me, I never think that any decision I make is wrong. I believe that every decision I make is perfectly correct.

Although I don’t understand the reason why you initially made a wrong judgment about me, do you know that these years after I left you, I have indeed been in great pain deep inside, never truly happy.

In the depths of your heart, the mistakes I’ve made will never have a chance to be corrected because you never believe in me. Regardless, the mistakes I made may have caused you immense harm, casting a great shadow over your heart, making it impossible for you to ever trust me as your father. But do you know? Over the years, I’ve genuinely regretted abandoning you. I’m not someone with a heart of stone, indifferent to it all. I have absolutely no way to comprehend the harm my errors brought upon you. I also hope you can forget the past, look towards the future, and live happily. But you know, when I hear every word you say to me, I know it’s impossible. You will never let go of the past, and deep in your heart, there will always be sorrow; you will only see the pain.”

”You’re right; I do have great resentment towards you deep inside. But do you know? All of that resentment is something you’ve given me with your own hands. Isn’t being abandoned by you time and time again enough? How far do you intend to hurt me? You are my father, and that is a fact I can never escape. We share the same blood, but do you understand that half of the blood in my body is from my mother, not entirely yours?

Do you truly think that every word you say and everything you do can be easily forgotten? You imagine yourself a Saint, but I cannot. I have no way to forget all the pain you caused me in the past. You might not care about those things, but I do. Do you understand how suffocating it is when all the pressure is upon you, forcing you to vent your emotions through avoidance while hiding your feelings from your family? You can’t let them worry about you. Do you know that every time you cause me distress, all I want is a secure embrace to comfort me, yet you’ve never given me that.

Time and again, when I needed you the most, you chose to abandon and leave me. When I no longer needed you, when I had become the focus of the world, you chose to come back. I don’t know how long this outcome can last; I don’t know how long I should maintain this mindset. I’m not a Saint. I can’t forgive myself again and again. I can’t forgive you without reservation for a lifetime. I have my own family; I have my own thoughts and judgments. I cannot abandon my principles for you repeatedly.”

At one point, I thought about abandoning my principles to forgive you and live well together. But what did I gain in return? Deception. During that time, I nearly collapsed, unable to understand what kind of reason could make you treat me so cruelly.

Everyone believed my parents did no wrong and that I should forgive them. But who considered things from my perspective? Who knows just how difficult my life has been? Time and again, I’ve been living the life I least wanted. All I want is to make my life a bit easier, but what did I get in return? Betrayal by my family, betrayal by my friends, sold out time and again, the hurt brought to me. Even when I traded my sincerity for others’ sincerity, I never received genuine treatment but only lies time and again. Is it really my fate?

I don’t believe that all my efforts are just fleeting memories in your eyes. I can’t believe that everything I’ve worked for is so insignificant. I’m not a Saint; I can’t live a life without being hurt by anyone while being endlessly happy. But when I’m hurt, I foolishly smile, thinking everything done by others is right and for my good.

Maybe you think I’m naive and easy to deceive, but after being exposed time and again, I won’t be foolishly used by everyone anymore. I did all this just to live happier and lighter, not wanting anyone to help or pity me, or give me sympathy. What I hate most in life is having suffered through someone’s company and then being urged to forgive them when they apologize.

Do you understand how many things you did to me when you came close in Shanghai? I couldn’t believe each decision I made. I can’t believe those decisions were mine. I gave you all my sincerity, yet what did I get in return? Time and again, harm from you. Even if you gave me the best harm, I chose to forgive you because you are my parents. But you continued without remorse, taking another inch and hurting me again and again. You treated hurting me as a joy. Do you know your harm might be unforgettable for me, leaving a deep mark on my life? Sometimes I feel my actions are truly excessive; I shouldn’t forgive people as easily as I imagine. Being kind to others might be cruel to myself. But, despite being hurt by you again and again, I still forgave you wholeheartedly. That moment proved I was no longer fit to be the strongest person in the world!”