My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1044: Chapter 897: Admitting Mistakes Isn’t Hard

Zhang Zhentian now understands, no matter what, he cannot allow his family to misunderstand him repeatedly, so he’s decided to reveal everything.

”Children, I’ve never said this, but admitting fault is a difficult choice. I simply don’t know how to face every mistake I’ve made. You haven’t made so many mistakes; you can’t fathom what it’s like to be burdened by all these errors. That feeling can suffocate you. I don’t want this feeling to oppress me. Do you know? I’ve not had an easy life these years. I’ve given everything, only to reap what? Family betrayal, friends’ hurt, relatives’ repeated doubts and suspicions?

Throughout the years I’ve stepped into society, each time, even when entering the restroom, I ponder how my family views me. You know? That period was incredibly tough for me. Yet, I’ve never shared my hardships with others because I recognize all difficulties stem from my own actions. I cannot blame anyone, nor seek assistance from others. I only hope the woman by my side, during my hardest times, can love me forever and never leave.

I never anticipated that my beloved woman would have an affair. To me, it’s not just a humiliation; it’s also a betrayal. You’ve never experienced such feelings because you don’t have a beloved woman. Do you know how despairing it feels to discover your beloved woman has betrayed you? I’ve never shared these feelings with anyone. Today, however, is different. I can’t endure your misunderstanding over and over. Why should I bear the consequences for mistakes not solely mine, with all the pressures upon me? Is it always my fault when mistakes happen? In your eyes, are those who err always me rather than her? Have you considered my struggles? How difficult it has been for me to reach where I am today?

You never see me; you only see your own interests, family privileges. In your eyes, family ties weigh more than mine. I’m dispensable. Yet, have you considered, that I am still your relative, still your elder, despite everything? I won’t blame you for your words today. But I wish for you to know clearly, I am your elder; respect should reside in your tone irrespective of time or place. I won’t hold grudges against your words, aware they’re without malice; however, you unknowingly hurt my pride with your lack of courtesy. This isn’t the ending I wish for.”

”Grandfather, I know my words today hurt your pride, but do you know how much my father, and your son, have suffered these years? They all are my fathers; but my father is your son. He sees his father before him, within reach but with no means to connect or communicate, even struggling to utter a warm word. He watches as you face such torment, just as you watched his growth; his inner torment equally palpable. You understand better than anyone the pain of having a family before you yet unable to acknowledge them. The pain feels like a focused agony. Can you ever stand in my father’s shoes and consider his feelings then? Why do you consistently live selfishly for yourselves, neglecting your family members?

Family is a sacred term. With family comes you all; without family, what’s the worth of a long life? If the world holds only you, it’s filled with loneliness and helplessness, devoid of hope or future.

I wish all past occurrences were mere memories, never happened; I wish my father had experienced innocent joy from the start. He lost his childhood; buried by your hands, considering how painful his childhood was. While others played, he conducted mad training, pondering ways to prove his strength. When repeatedly mocked, he couldn’t cry; no one to speak to. He swallowed all his pain within.

Have you felt such despair? You claim your hardship, but imagine a child enduring devilish training from the onset till now. People see his current glory, forgetting the struggles he overcame. His success wasn’t accidental, wasn’t luck, it was through perseverance against pain, treatments of ridicule from others. Offering a brilliant façade, yet beneath lies hardship and pain.

Zhang Yichen held onto the belief his son knew nothing, yet today unveiled all that he indeed knows. Like him, Yichen struggles with expression, burying everything deep. When pushed beyond limits, it surfaces eventually. Yet where is his recognition? There’s no one to share his internal pain with, solitary in his hurt, hidden forever with no avenue of rise.

If time could rewind, couldn’t he also want a joyous life? Who wouldn’t wish to savor their childhood blissfully? Why must a childhood be laden with weight?