Naruto : Venom

”Ah.” I let out a contented sigh. Again. For the who-knows-how-many time today. ”This is what vacation should be.”

The sun has only just set which is a shame. I was looking forward to watching it fully set for the night but Naruto popped up and then that fiasco happened.

Enough said about that.

At least the Konoha shinobi know I won’t be going anywhere tonight. We’re in the middle of an ocean so there’s nowhere for me to go. That also means they have no reason to come check on me.

Since it’s night that means the the movie crew is also not active, the lighting is terrible and I doubt they want to shoot a night scene on ship for the next movie. If for some ungodly reason they do I’ll just have the Jiongu turn off my hearing.

It’s fantastic, I can finally get some true relaxation in.

”Hey Jiongu?” I ask my loyal companion.

~Yes Host?~

”Do you have a name?” I should have asked this way sooner but it never occurred to me to do so. I’d be a massive hypocrite if I didn’t at least ask the Jiongu after the Naruto fiasco.

~I… I’ve never been given one. I’ve only ever been called the Jiongu.~

”Do you want one?” I ask. ”I’ll call you whatever you want me to, even if you decide that just Jiongu is good enough.”

~I don’t actually know. The idea of a name is so… strange to me. I have existed for many decades but none of these things mattered, I wasn’t even aware of something like a name. I’ve only ever existed, similar to a tree. We were both alive but did not have the capacity to think. Just recently have I been made truly aware of these more complex concepts and ideas. Only my time with you has opened my eyes to these… feelings. I don’t know what to call myself.~

”Think about it for as long as you want to.” I stare up at the stars that are just beginning to show up as the sunlight becomes more scarce. ”There’s no rush.”

~I will let you know if... when I come to a decision.~

”Of course, take as much time as you need.” I smile to myself. ”It’s not like I can get rid of you even if I wanted to. We’re stuck together until the end.”

I’m perfectly content with that.

~Yes. Until the end.~

A pleasant shiver courses throughout my body. The Jiongu is happy.

...

The Next Morning

”Huh.” I swing myself out of my hammock and stretch my arms to the sky. ”It’s actually a bit chilly now.”

I quickly fly through some hand signs and touch the ground.

”Summoning Jutsu: Care Package!”

A small plume of smoke puffs into existence right where I touched the ground.

”Sweet. So that did work.” This is something that I kind of came up with myself. I took the idea of being able to summon a Nest Egg - which is basically just summoning a mass of webs and whatever is inside it - and changed it to suit my needs. Basically this is a new way for me to get stuff from the Nest, in this case a new coat.

All I did was Summon Murasakino a while back and asked her to make me a snow white coat and told her to wrap it like a Nest Egg. I wanted to see if it would work, plus this way my Summons don’t have to brave the fierce cold on this mission.

Why do I need a snow white coat you ask? I’m a shinobi, I should at least try to blend in with my surroundings and right now I’m in the Land of Snow. Plus Ino kinda has my other one.

I scoop up the small package.

”A package?” I turn over the small bundle. ”For me? Who would be so kind? Oh, it was me! Thanks me!”

~Host, I know you like to act insane to freak people out but that was just weird. There’s no one but us up here.~

”Be quiet you.” I shush the Jiongu. ”Hold on a moment, are we not moving?”

I look out over the water and sure enough the nearby icebergs are not getting closer nor farther away.

”Why the hell aren’t we moving?” I ask myself. ”Better yet why the hell are we docked next to an iceberg?”

”This! Is! Perfect!” The Director happily shouts from down on the deck. ”Yes yes yes! We’re going to the iceberg to shoot a scene! We even have a glorious sunrise as the background! I couldn’t have timed this better if I tried! Everyone, let’s go!”

”Oh come on we’re not even at Snow yet and we’re already making detours for the stupid movie?” I whine as I flip the new coat onto my shoulders. ”Dammit I have to actually do my job now.”

I walk down the mast while grumbling the entire time.

”Stupid Shikamaru. Stupid debt. Stupid movie. Stupid everything!” I’m not trying to be quiet about my whining, I’ve even attracted the attention of a couple members of the movie crew. ”That’s right I meant you people!”

They quickly look away from me.

”You seem very chipper this morning.” Shikamaru says as he and everyone else walk out of the interior of the ship. ”Already bitching and the day has just started.”

”Fuck you too.” I shoot him a glare for an extra effect.

”Wow, something tells me he’s not a morning person.” Naruto loudly whispers. He meant for everyone to hear that, he’s enjoying my discomfort. Asshole.

”You’ve got it wrong.” I correct Naruto with a hint more irritation bleeding into my words. ”I’m not a doing-things-I-don’t-want-to-do person. The morning has nothing to do with it.”

”You sure?” Anko asks with a playful smile. ”You look like you just woke up.”

”I did just wake up.” I growl out. ”Then the next thing I do is discover the idiot Director decided that filming on an iceberg is a good idea. So now I have to actually go be around… people.” I shudder as I say the last word.

”Oh come on people aren’t that bad!” Naruto cheerfully smacks me on the back as we all move towards the movie crew.

”I have to go keep a self entitled bitchy Princess alive. That means staying close to her and I’m not even supposed to be here!” I stomp my foot on the ground.

”You do know she’s not actually a Princess, right?” Ino asks me with a confused look on her face. ”She just plays one in the movies.”

”Yeah.” I distractedly answer her. ”Sure. And her uncle doesn’t rule the Land of Snow either.”

”Quit whining.” Kakashi chastises me. ”You’ve got the easiest job out of everyone.”

”I shouldn’t even have a job!” I yell to up to the sky.

”You know, I would feel bad about this if you were anyone else.” Shikamaru nonchalantly says. ”But you did this exact same thing to me so I have no remorse at all.”

”Hate you.” I hang my head. ”Hate you all.”

...

Hours Later

”Scene thirty six cut two!” A stage hand snaps that black and white movie thingy together in front of a camera lense. I’ve always wondered what those are called but never had the motivation to find out.

”ACTION!”

The entire crew, actors, lighting people, cameramen, microphone pole holder people, and more that I can’t identify all spring into action to make a very intense confrontation scene between Princess Fuin and Mao come to life.

And I couldn’t give less of a shit.

”This is dumb.” I vocalize to the rest of the shinobi here. We’ve all been shooed into one spot and told - very rudely told might I add - to stay out of the way by the Director.

”It’s a mission.” Ino shrugs. ”They can’t all be exciting like you’re used to.”

”Eventful.” I correct her. ”Don’t worry, now that I’ve been roped into this it’s sure to spiral out of control as soon as possible. And it’s not going to be a controlled spiral either, no that would be too easy. It’s going to be like leaping off of a cliff head first, with your arms spread wide open, a smile on your face and sharp pointy spikes at the bottom that are dipped in acid.”

”I’m not surprised you’re a pessimist.” Shikamaru says out of sheer boredom. The only thing keeping him awake is Naruto who throws snow at him when his eyes start to droop. It’s been the only amusing thing to happen for hours.

”I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist. Just wait, it’ll happen.” I promise him.

”Alvarcus isn’t technically wrong.” Kakashi shrugs while he diverts less than half his attention to our conversation. I bet you can guess where the other half is. ”Most of the missions I’ve been on since he left have been relatively normal. Okay so they’re all still outlandishly difficult but that was in the mission parameters.”

”Yeah, every mission we took together went crazy really quick!” Naruto adds on his own experiences. ”We’re three for three so far, I’m not going to be surprised if it becomes four for four.”

...

A/N:

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