Naruto : Venom

”So as fun as it is to hear what may or may not have happened in your respective sex lives, how about we do what we came here to do?” Shikamaru practically shouts over the two bickering jonin. ”Frankly I don’t care who fucked who, we’re here for a job.”

...

”See!” Anko points at Shikamaru while looking at Ino. ”It’s not that hard! Say it with me now, fuck.”

”No!” Ino squeaks in embarrassment. ”Shikamaru what’s the plan?”

”We have two main objectives.” Shikamaru starts to explain before Anko can chime in again. ”First: we have to find the client. We’re supposed to meet her here. Second: secure the ship for passage. Supposedly the client has gotten a ship lined up to take us to the Land of Snow but we need to check it over for any malicious intent.”

”Ahem.” Ino’s embarrassment vanishes and it’s replaced with bossiness. She’s crossed her arms and is tapping her foot in agitation. ”There should be getting a hotel in there somewhere. I want a shower.”

”The ship should have that.” Shikamaru waves off Ino’s anger, he’s done it multiple times before. ”Consider it a hotel on water. So since we have to objectives we’ll split the group two ways.”

”I’ll take Naruto to go find the client.” Kakashi offers. ”Actresses can be very… peculiar at times. It’s best an adult deals with her.”

”Hey I’m an adult!” Anko cuts in.

The rest of the shinobi briefly imagine how Anko would handle talking with the client. They all shiver in unison.

”Works for me.” Shikamaru quickly says. ”That means Anko, Ino and I will go secure the boat. Will you be able to meet us there or do you want us to come find you once we’re done?”

”We’ll be fine. I’m sure I can manage one actress.” Kakashi waves off the other three.

”Oi I don’t want to go with him!” Naruto whirls towards Ino. ”Switch with me!”

”Come on Naruto. We’ve got an actress to find.” Kakashi grabs Naruto by the scruff of the neck and drags him off.

”NOOOO! NOT LIKE THIS!” Naruto wails as he’s dragged away.

”I’m starting to think we had the most normal sensei.” Shikamaru comments to Ino as he watches Naruto submit to his fate. ”Asuma-sensei would never do that.”

”You might be right. We did get lucky.” Ino agrees. ”So. Boat?”

”Yeah. Boat.”

The trio make their own exit.

”BOINKED!”

”Dammit Anko! You can’t do that in front of the client!”

...

”So this is the ship going to the Land of Snow.” I do a quick once over on it. ”Good enough for me, she looks like she can take a rough voyage.”

”So what’s your plan?” Shirokumo asks from my head. He hasn’t left yet. ”Going to stowaway on it? Hide in the hold until you reach your destination? Perhaps threaten the Captain to allow you passage?”

”I’m going to ask.” I blandly tell my summon. ”What the hell kind of a person do you think I am? Don’t answer that.”

”You’re a shinobi. That’s kinda your thing, hiding away in places.” Shirokumo mutters to himself. ”It’s not that crazy of an assumption.”

”OI!” I shout at the large ship. ”Anyone there?”

A man leans over the side and glares at me. ”The hell do you want punk?”

”You the Captain? I want to hitch a ride to the Land of Snow.” I call back to the rude man.

”CAPTAIN!” The man shouts and he disappears back into the ship. ”WE GOT A KID WITH A SPIDER ON HIS HEAD ASKING FOR A RIDE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE TO MAKE SURE I’M NOT CRAZY!”

”Well at least he went to get the Captain?” I weakly say to Shirokumo.

”We really should have thought of that.” Shirokumo sighs.

”Who the fuck are you?” A new face leans over the side of the ship to speak to me. ”Scratch that, don’t care. Why should I let you on my ship? Bringing shinobi onboard is bad luck.”

”Uh…” Shit what can I offer him? ”I’ll protect you, the crew and the ship from anyone who tries to start trouble?”

”No shit you’d do that.” The Captain gruffly barks out. ”If trouble happens it’s always shinobi’s fault so you better fix it! Give me something worthwhile. Something good. It’s gotta be worth it for me and my crew.”

”How about added manual labor?” I offer something else. ”I may not look like it but I’m actually quite strong.”

”Must be one of those shinobi tricks.” The Captain mutters. ”Not good enough, I’ve got plenty of hands to handle my cargo. You’d just get in the way even if you can hold five times the usual. You don’t know our system. Last chance. What do you got?”

”You’re hauling cargo?” I ask and he nods affirmative. ”I’m pretty good at fuinjutsu, I can seal away the cargo to make it lighter and more space efficient. It’ll let you carry more too so this one trip could be worth six trips.”

”Works for me!” The Captain eagerly waves me up. With one large leap I join him on the deck. ”Welcome aboard. Now you’re not our only passenger, we’ve got a movie crew coming with us. That going to be a problem?”

”As long as they don’t try to make me an actor we’ll be fine.” I assure him. ”So, where’s the cargo? I’ll get started right away. I’ll seal what you’ve got here first then if you get more I’ll seal that as it comes. I’ll do as much as you want until either I run out of supplies or you can’t get more.”

”I’ll show you to the hold.” The Captain eagerly takes a few steps then stops. ”Laddie, can you put the spider away? I don’t need any spider eggs popping up in my ship. That’s bad for business.”

”That’s a new one.” Shirokumo says to us. ”I bid you farewell.”

”See ya around.” I say goodbye as he poofs away to the Nest. ”So, cargo hold?”

”Right this way.” We both disappear into the ship.

...

”Whew!” I whistle as the Captain shows me just how much cargo the ship has. ”What is all this stuff?”

”Food mainly. Some medical supplies and general goods like clothes and trinkets.” He pats a large box. ”Think you can get all of this?”

”There’s nothing alive in any of these, right?” I question. ”Seals and living beings don’t always mix well.”

”Unless we’ve got a stowaway, no.” The Captain clears up. ”So can you get it all? And how small can you make it?”

”Hmm.” I take in the large room one more time. Then I reach into my coat and pull out a decently sized scroll. I quickly unfurl it and pump chakra in it to release its contents. Out of it pops one of the massive scrolls, like the one Jiraya carries around. ”I can get all of it into this with plenty of room to spare.”

Basically I’m going to make a crap ton of large storage seals on this one scroll. Why waste a lot of little ones when I can use one big one to get the same effect? Even if the large storage seal takes up a meter of paper I’ll just unroll it more to add in another one next to it. These kinds of scrolls are so insanely long it’s ridiculous. Plus I may have always wanted to actually use one of these huge scrolls. They’ve always seemed cool to me.

”Laddie what would it take for me to hire you on full time?” The Captain asks. He’s being one hundred percent serious too. I can’t blame him, I did just say I can stick his entire cargo hold into a bunch of paper. It’s any transporter’s dream.

”Sorry Captain. I’m in another business already.” I deny his job offer.

”If you ever want a change of careers you’ve got a spot on my crew. Just find me.”

”I’ll keep that in mind. Now I’ve got to start working, these seals do take time to create.”

”I’ll leave you to it.” The Captain leaves.

I pull out another scroll that has a bunch brushes and ink sealed away. Hey if I can hold more than one brush at a time you bet I’m going to! It makes things go so much quicker even if it’s only making two seals at a time.

”Let’s get to it. They’re not going to make themselves.”

...

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