The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 387: Chapter 387 - Cover

Karen’s head snapped toward her. ”What the fuck?”

”I’m asking.”

”You’re fucking kidding me.”

”I’m serious.”

”I drink sometimes and now I’m an alcoholic?”

”You’ve been bringing alcohol into school for months and hiding the smell.”

”I’m not fucking hiding it.”

”You just said you use gum and perfume so teachers won’t smell it.”

”Because I don’t want to get caught!”

Silence.

Karen stopped.

Roxie stared at her, and for a few seconds nobody seemed to know what to say.

When Roxie finally spoke, her voice had dropped. ”Listen to yourself.”

Karen’s face twisted. ”I know what I’m doing. I don’t have to prove anything to you. This is my fucking life. I’ll do what I want with it.”

”Even destroy your own body?”

Karen laughed. ”I’m not a fucking alcoholic.”

”Karen, you are drinking at fucking school.”

”I know!”

Roxie stared at her. ”You know.”

”Yes, I know. I’m not stupid.”

”I never called you stupid.”

”You keep treating me like I have no fucking control.”

Roxie’s voice cracked. ”Because I don’t know if you do anymore!”

Karen’s hands dropped from her face.

She stared at Roxie for several seconds.

”You really think that.”

”I don’t know what to think.”

”Bullshit.”

”I’m telling you I don’t know!”

”You think I’m some fucking drunk now.”

”I think something is wrong!”

”Nothing is wrong with me!”

Angela made a small broken sound. ”Karen, please.”

Karen spun toward her. ”Stop fucking crying!”

Angela recoiled.

Roxie felt anger tear through her again. ”Don’t talk to her like that.”

”I said I can’t take the crying right now!”

”She’s crying because she’s scared!”

”Well, I didn’t ask her to be!”

Angela stared at Karen like the words had hit her.

Roxie stepped closer before Angela could even answer. ”You keep saying that. You didn’t ask us to worry, you didn’t ask us to look for you, you didn’t ask Mason to care. Fine. You didn’t ask. We still fucking do.”

Karen shook her head. ”Then stop.”

Roxie went quiet.

Karen’s voice rose as she continued. ”Stop checking on me. Stop watching me. Stop asking where I am every five minutes. Stop calling my aunt. Stop trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. Just fucking stop.”

Angela was crying openly now. ”How can you ask us to do that?”

”Because I can’t breathe with everybody watching me!”

Angela wiped her face with shaking hands, and when she spoke again her voice was broken enough that she had to stop halfway through. ”You were there when everything happened with Caleb. You were there when I was... when I was bad and everybody was scared to leave me alone. You know what that felt like. So why are you making me feel like that about you now?”

Karen’s face changed.

For once she had nothing ready.

Angela swallowed and tried again. ”I look at you now and I’m scared, Karen. I keep thinking maybe I’m going to miss something and then... fuck, I don’t know. I don’t know what happens after that.”

Karen looked away.

Roxie’s anger started collapsing under the fear again. Her chest hurt, and breathing suddenly felt like work.

”I’m scared too.”

Karen looked at her.

Roxie wiped at her face. ”I’m fucking scared. Every time you don’t answer now, I think about Friday. I think about that pill, and then my head goes somewhere I don’t want it to go.”

Karen knew.

Roxie saw it immediately.

”I know you’re not my mom. I know you’re not her.” Roxie tried to keep talking, but her throat kept closing around the words. ”But I can’t keep wondering if the next call I get is going to be somebody telling me you’re in a hospital or...”

She couldn’t finish.

She didn’t have to.

Karen looked down.

Roxie stood there waiting for something.

Anything.

When Karen finally looked up, her face had hardened again.

”Stop the drama.”

Roxie froze.

Karen laughed bitterly. ”You both keep making this about how scared you are, how upset you are. News flash, nobody asked. You can stop the drama.”

For a second Roxie wasn’t standing in a school parking lot anymore.

She remembered nights begging Claire to look at her.

Begging her to stop.

Begging for attention, love, anything.

That same tired expression. Like Roxie was asking for too much simply because she wanted her mother to care.

Her body went cold.

Angela looked momentarily lost. ”We care about you.”

”Then stop.”

Roxie opened her mouth.

Nothing came out.

Karen looked straight at her. ”If caring about me is fucking you up this much, stop.”

”That’s not what we’re saying,” Angela whispered.

”I’m telling you both to leave me alone.”

Roxie finally found her voice. ”Angela and I are worried about you. Why are you attacking us for that?”

Karen laughed. ”Of course. It’s my fault. Sorry. Perfect Roxie and Angela never do anything wrong. Everything is Karen’s fault.”

”I never said that.”

”You don’t need to.”

Roxie bit the inside of her lip so hard it hurt. Part of her wanted to scream that yes, this part was Karen’s fucking fault. She wanted to shake her until something in her brain started working again.

Then Roxie looked at Angela.

Angela looked wrecked.

Karen had always fought with Roxie. They had yelled at each other before, thrown words they regretted, gotten angry enough to walk away.

Angela was different.

Karen rarely went after Angela like this.

Angela’s eyes watered again as she pressed her lips together, clearly trying to keep herself from crying harder.

Roxie looked back at Karen.

Her eyes were red around the corners. Her face was pale. Her fingers trembled when she adjusted the strap of her bag.

For one horrible second Roxie wondered whether there was something else in her system too.

How the fuck had she missed all of this?

She wanted to shout at Karen until her voice disappeared. She wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her. More than anything, she wanted the Karen from an hour ago back. The one laughing over their ugly senior picture and insulting Angela’s face while they helped the juniors.

But Roxie could feel the conversation getting uglier with every word.

They were all saying things they wouldn’t be able to take back.

She breathed hard and forced herself to look at Karen’s car instead.

”Give me your keys.”

Karen frowned. ”What?”

”We’ll take an Uber. You’re not driving.”

Karen’s entire face changed again. ”Fuck off. I can go home by myself.”

”Karen, please.”

”What? You think I can’t fucking drive now either?”

”I think you’ve been drinking.”

”I told you I’m not drunk.”

”I don’t care.”

Karen pulled her keys from her bag. ”Watch me.”

She headed for the driver’s door.

Roxie moved before she even thought about it.

Karen reached for the handle, but Roxie slammed the door shut again.

Karen whipped around. ”What the fuck, Jones?”

Roxie was breathing so hard she could barely get the words out. ”You’re not driving.”

”Move.”

”No.”

”I said move.”

”And I said you’re not driving after drinking.”

Karen tried to open the door again, but Roxie shoved it closed with her hip and reached for the keys.

Karen jerked her hand away. ”Fucking stop.”

”You stop!”

”Get off me!”

”Give me the keys!”

Karen grabbed Roxie’s wrist when Roxie reached again, and suddenly they were actually fighting over them, both pulling, Roxie trying to get Karen’s fingers open while Karen shoved her away from the car.

Angela gasped. ”Guys, stop. Stop!”

Neither of them listened.

”Give me the fucking keys!”

”No!”

”Karen!”

”Get off me!”

”Hey!”

The voice cut through them.

All three froze.

Roxie’s hand was still around Karen’s wrist.

Karen was gripping the keys so tightly between her fingers that her knuckles had gone white.

Coach Miller stood several feet away, staring at them.

His eyebrows lifted. ”Well. This is new.”

Roxie slowly let go of Karen.

Karen stepped back.

Coach Miller looked between them. ”I’ve seen both of you fight other kids. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you fighting each other in the parking lot.”

Nobody answered.

His eyes moved to Angela.

She immediately wiped at her face.

Coach Miller’s expression changed.

The joking disappeared.

”What happened?”

Roxie’s heart started pounding for a completely different reason.

She looked at Karen.

Karen was staring at Coach Miller.

Then she looked at Roxie.

For the first time since the argument started, there was no anger in Karen’s face.

Only panic.

Please.

She didn’t say it.

She didn’t have to.

Roxie looked at her bag.

The tumbler was inside it.

If Coach Miller found out Karen had been drinking during practice, Roxie had no idea what would happen. They were weeks away from graduation. Karen could get suspended. Removed from cheer. Her aunt would be called. Her parents might get involved.

Maybe that was exactly what needed to happen.

Roxie’s mouth opened.

Nothing came out.

Coach Miller looked at her. ”Roxie?”

This was it.

She could tell him.

She could just say it.

Karen was drinking.

Karen needed help.

An adult was standing right fucking there.

Roxie looked at Karen again.

Karen’s eyes were wet.

Pleading.

Roxie’s stomach twisted.

She forced a smile onto her face even though she knew it probably looked terrible. ”Nothing, Coach. Just a misunderstanding.”

Karen closed her eyes for half a second.

Coach Miller looked at Roxie.

Then at Karen.

Then at Angela, who was standing off to the side with red eyes and her arms wrapped around herself.

He clearly didn’t believe her.

”So who was winning?”

Nobody answered.

Coach Miller waited.

Still nothing.

He rubbed the back of his neck. ”Tough crowd.”

Usually Roxie probably would have laughed.

Nobody did.

His expression became serious again.

”Practice ended. All three of you need to go home.”

Before Roxie could react, Karen opened the car door.

Roxie turned. ”Karen.”

Karen didn’t look at her.

She got inside.

Roxie took one step toward the car, but Coach Miller was still standing there and her body wouldn’t decide what to do fast enough.

The engine started.

Karen backed out.

Too fast.

Coach Miller’s face tightened as he watched the car pull away.

”Karen!”

She kept going.

Roxie stood completely still while Karen’s car disappeared toward the road.

Coach Miller looked at her. ”Is she okay?”

Roxie’s throat closed.

She had another chance.

She could still say it.

Angela looked at her.

Roxie looked toward the road where Karen had disappeared. She wanted to say but her voice barely came out. ”She’s just upset.”

Coach Miller stared at her for a few seconds.

Roxie knew he didn’t believe that either.

Finally he nodded slowly. ”Make sure she gets home.”

Roxie swallowed. ”Yes, Coach.”

He looked between her and Angela once more before walking toward the faculty side of the parking lot.

Roxie waited until he was far enough away before turning toward Angela.

Angela looked back at her but neither of them spoke.

Roxie could still see Karen’s face when Coach Miller asked what happened.

Please.

And Roxie had covered for her.

She could have told him.

Roxie looked toward the empty road again as something sick settled in her stomach.

Angela wiped at her face. ”Should we call her?”

Roxie pulled out her phone immediately.

Her hands were still shaking.

”I don’t know.”