The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 385: Chapter 385 - The Burn Underneath

A few days later, Roxie was sitting on the gym floor with Karen and Angela while three juniors argued over which one of them looked worst in the senior pictures.

Practice had technically ended ten minutes ago, but none of the seniors had left yet. With graduation getting closer, most of their practices had stopped being about perfecting their own routines and started becoming more about helping the juniors take over.

Roxie still hadn’t decided how she felt about that. She had spent years getting yelled at for bad landings, fixing formations, learning routines until her legs hurt, and now people were asking her where the spare pom poms were like she was already gone.

Karen held up her phone between them. ”No. Look at this shit.”

Roxie leaned closer and immediately started laughing. ”Oh my God.”

Angela grabbed Karen’s wrist and pulled the phone closer. ”Why do I look like that?”

”That’s what I’ve been saying. They made us look forty.” Karen zoomed in while Roxie laughed harder.

The picture itself wasn’t terrible. Everyone was lined up in uniform with the football field behind them, smiling like they had been instructed to smile after standing under the sun forever.

Unfortunately, whoever had taken it had caught almost everybody at the worst possible moment. Angela looked like she had one eye slightly smaller than the other, Karen looked furious, and Roxie somehow looked like she had forgotten where the camera was.

Karen zoomed in on her face.

Roxie slapped the phone away. ”Stop. I’ve seen it.”

”You look confused.”

”The photographer kept moving.”

Angela leaned over Karen’s shoulder and started laughing again. ”Why are you looking beside the camera?”

”Because somebody called my name. I don’t even remember who.”

”Probably Zac,” Karen said.

Roxie rolled her eyes. ”Why would Zac be standing beside the photographer?”

”Because that boy appears everywhere you are.”

Angela nodded. ”That is true.”

Roxie looked at her. ”Whose side are you on?”

”The picture’s.”

Karen laughed and went back to scrolling while Roxie stretched her legs out in front of her and watched the juniors on the other side of the gym try the sequence again. They were doing better than they had at the beginning of the year, although one of them still kept turning half a count too early.

Roxie pointed toward her. ”Again. You’re rushing the turn.”

The girl groaned. ”Ma’am.”

”Don’t ma’am me. Again.”

Karen looked over and laughed. ”She’s becoming Coach Miller.”

”Shut up.”

”You even sounded like him.”

Roxie threw a pom pom at her, and Karen caught it against her chest with another laugh.

It felt good.

That was what Roxie kept thinking lately. It felt good to have Karen back.

After everything that happened, she had expected things to stay awkward much longer. Instead, Karen seemed to have decided that if nobody brought up Mason or Friday night, she could go back to being herself.

For the most part, she had. She came to school, ate with them, complained about teachers and made fun of Roxie every time Zac showed up between classes. She hadn’t disappeared again, and Roxie had finally stopped checking her phone every hour just to make sure Karen was answering.

Even Angela had relaxed.

There were still moments Roxie noticed because she was looking even when she tried not to.

Karen sometimes went quiet when Mason was nearby. He had kept his distance after the kiss, but he wasn’t dramatic about it. He still spoke to Roxie and Angela, still hung around Zac, Dylan and Kyle, and if Karen was with them he didn’t suddenly turn around and leave. He had simply stopped seeking her out.

Karen noticed.

Roxie knew because Karen always seemed to know where Mason was, even when she pretended she hadn’t looked.

But Roxie kept her mouth shut.

That was between them now.

One of the juniors landed badly and nearly knocked into another girl, and Roxie immediately got up. ”Stop. You’re too close together.”

The girls reset while she walked toward them.

”You have enough space, so use it. If she comes down and your shoulder is there, both of you are going down.”

Karen joined her while Angela stayed near the speaker, and for the next half hour they helped the juniors clean up the routine. Roxie fixed timing while Karen handled formations, and Angela kept restarting the music whenever somebody messed up badly enough that continuing was pointless.

It reminded Roxie of when they were younger, only now they were the ones standing at the front while somebody else complained about being tired.

Graduation was close enough that everybody had started counting things now. Last few practices. Last games. Last school events. Last time wearing certain uniforms.

Roxie hated when people said it out loud because it made everything feel closer than she wanted.

One of the juniors dropped onto the floor after they finally finished another full run. ”Are you seriously leaving us?”

Karen wiped sweat from her forehead. ”Yes. I’ve been waiting four years.”

The girl looked offended. ”That was fast.”

Roxie laughed. ”Ignore her.”

”I’m going to miss you guys.”

Karen immediately made a face. ”Don’t start crying. I’m sweaty.”

Angela walked over carrying the speaker. ”She’ll cry at graduation.”

”I absolutely will not.”

”You cried at Regionals.”

”That was different.”

The juniors started laughing while Karen shook her head and grabbed her tumbler from beside the bleachers. ”This is why I’m happy to graduate. I’m surrounded by disrespect.”

”You’re going to miss us,” Roxie said.

”I’ll miss Angela.”

Angela smiled. ”Thank you.”

Karen looked at Roxie. ”You, I’ll block.”

”You call me every time you’re bored.”

”That can change.”

”It won’t.”

Karen took a drink and smiled.

Roxie watched her for a second and felt that same sense of relief settle again.

This was what she had wanted Monday morning.

Karen laughing with them. Karen arguing over stupid things. Karen planning graduation like she expected to be there for all of it.

Maybe Roxie had been waiting for another disaster because the last one scared her. Maybe she had gotten so used to watching for signs that she was starting to find them where there weren’t any.

The thought made her feel guilty.

Karen deserved room to have one terrible night without everybody treating it like proof that something was permanently wrong with her. Roxie knew what it felt like when people started seeing your worst moment before they saw you.

She didn’t want to become that person for Karen.

The juniors finally started gathering their things, and Roxie went back toward the bleachers to grab her bag. Angela dropped beside her with a groan and stretched her legs out.

”My legs are dead.”

”You barely did anything.”

”I operated the music for almost an hour.”

”You pressed a button.”

Karen sat beside her. ”Very demanding work.”

Angela leaned against Karen’s shoulder. ”Thank you for respecting me.”

”I wasn’t.”

Roxie smiled while digging through her bag for her phone.

There were three messages from Zac. The first said training was running late, the second complained about Dylan, and the third was a picture of Kyle lying flat on the field.

Roxie laughed.

Karen looked over. ”What?”

She showed them the picture.

Angela immediately started laughing while Karen took the phone and zoomed in. ”Is he dead?”

”Probably.”

”What did Zac say?”

”That training is running late again.”

Karen handed the phone back. ”You basically have a long-distance relationship now.”

”He sleeps at my house.”

”Sometimes.”

Roxie gave her a look. ”Every night.”

”Still. His friends see him more.”

They hadn’t really bonded these last several days. Zac came home every night exhausted.

Even their nightly fiery sex have been mellowed down. Not that she’s counting.

Zac had been tired. Training had been brutal lately, and half his conversations seemed to involve Tennessee paperwork, reporting schedules or something else Roxie had stopped trying to understand.

Angela stood and stretched. ”Are we leaving?”

”In a minute.”

Roxie shoved her phone back into her bag and realized how thirsty she was. Her own bottle was empty, and Karen’s tumbler was sitting right beside her.

Without thinking much about it, Roxie grabbed it.

Karen was looking at Angela and didn’t notice until Roxie already had the straw between her lips.

The first swallow hit her tongue.

Roxie froze.

The taste was faint underneath whatever juice Karen had mixed into it, but there was no mistaking the burn underneath.

She pulled the tumbler away and stared at it. ”What the fuck?”

Karen turned.

Angela looked between them. ”What?”

Roxie swallowed, but the taste stayed at the back of her throat. She looked toward the juniors still packing their things only a few feet away before turning back to Karen.

”There’s alcohol in this.”

Karen said nothing.

The smile disappeared from her face.

Roxie looked down at the tumbler again.

They were at school.

Karen had been drinking during practice.

And just like that, all the little things Roxie had spent the last few days explaining away didn’t feel small anymore.