The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 379: Chapter 379 - You Made Me Get Help

Karen arrived late.

Roxie saw the car first, a dark sedan slowing near the school parking lot before pulling up by the curb. She and Angela had been waiting beside the low wall near the entrance for almost fifteen minutes, pretending they were there for no reason while students passed around them in groups.

Roxie had barely slept. Karen had stayed on the screen half the night, curled under her blanket while Mason kept the video running from her room.

Every few minutes, Roxie had opened her eyes and checked that Karen was still breathing until Zac finally took the phone from her hand and promised again that he would wake her if anything changed.

Nothing had changed.

That should have helped.

It didn’t.

Angela stood beside her with her arms crossed tight over her chest, her ponytail neater than usual and her face pale in the morning light. She had texted Karen three times already. Karen had answered none of them. That was why they were waiting here now, both of them watching the curb like Karen might disappear again if they blinked.

The passenger door opened.

Karen stepped out slowly, wearing sunglasses even though the morning was cloudy. Her hair was tied up, but loose strands had already escaped around her face.

She had a jacket pulled over her uniform, one hand gripping the strap of her bag like it was the only thing keeping her upright. Her aunt leaned across the driver’s seat and said something Roxie couldn’t hear. Karen answered without looking at her, then shut the door harder than needed.

Her aunt stayed there for a moment, watching her.

Karen’s shoulders stiffened under the attention. ”I’m fine,” she said loudly enough for Roxie and Angela to hear.

Her aunt’s window lowered halfway. ”Go straight to class after this. I mean it.”

Karen’s mouth tightened. ”I said I’m fine.”

”You also said you were sleeping last night.”

That made Karen’s face change. Not guilt exactly. More like humiliation sharpened into anger. She looked away, adjusted the strap of her bag and started walking toward the entrance before her aunt could say anything else.

Roxie pushed off the wall.

Angela followed her.

Karen saw them after three steps and stopped. Even behind the sunglasses, Roxie could feel the look she gave them.

”No,” Karen said.

Angela swallowed. ”Karen.”

”No.” Karen lifted one hand like she could physically block the whole conversation. ”Whatever this is, save it.”

Roxie kept walking until she and Angela were close enough that other students had to move around them. ”We were just worried.”

Karen laughed once, dry and ugly.

Angela’s voice stayed soft. ”We just wanted to know if you were okay.”

”I’m standing here, aren’t I?”

”That isn’t an answer.”

Karen pushed her sunglasses up to the top of her head. Her eyes were tired and a little red, but they were focused now. That almost made it worse. Last night, Roxie could blame the pill, the alcohol, the panic, the mess. This morning Karen was awake enough to know what she was doing.

”I’m fine,” Karen said. ”I had a bad night. Everybody can stop acting like I crawled out of a grave.”

Roxie’s stomach tightened. ”You took a random pill from somebody whose name you didn’t even know.”

Karen’s jaw shifted. ”I heard that speech already. It’s getting tiring Roxie.”

”Good. Hear it again.”

Angela stepped closer before Karen could snap back. ”We were scared.”

Karen looked at her then, and something flickered across her face. For half a second, Roxie thought she might soften. Karen had always softened faster for Angela, even when she pretended she didn’t.

But then a group of juniors passed behind them, one of them glancing toward Karen’s sunglasses and messy hair, and the softness vanished.

”You were dramatic,” Karen said.

Angela blinked.

Roxie’s anger sparked immediately. ”Watch your mouth.”

Karen turned to her. ”What are you going to do, Roxie? Call another rescue team?”

Angela’s face tightened. ”We came because you lied.”

”I lied because I knew exactly how you two would act.”

”You were at Logan Pierce’s house,” Angela said. ”You were outside with people we barely know. You couldn’t even stand straight.”

”I got drunk.”

”You took something.”

”One pill.”

”You didn’t know what it was.”

Karen rolled her eyes and looked toward the school building like she was already bored. ”I woke up. I’m here. I’m walking. I’m talking. Crisis over.”

Angela stared at her. Her voice was still gentle, but something in it changed. ”You made me tell my parents.”

Karen looked back.

The parking lot noise seemed to dull around them. Roxie turned slightly toward Angela because even she had not expected that.

Angela’s hands were shaking, but she kept them pressed against her skirt. ”When I didn’t want anyone to know, you made Roxie tell my parents. You sat there and said I needed help even when I begged everyone to stop. You didn’t let me hide it just because I was embarrassed.”

Karen’s mouth opened, then closed.

Angela took a breath. ”So why are you angry at us for doing the same thing?”

”That was different,” Karen said.

Angela nodded slowly, like she had expected that answer. ”How?”

”Because it was.”

”Tell me how this was different?”

Karen’s face hardened. ”Angela.”

”No. Tell me why. Why was mine different?”

Karen looked away first. That was how Roxie knew Angela had cornered her. Karen could handle yelling. She could handle insults. She could handle someone calling her reckless or stupid.

What she couldn’t handle was someone calmly pointing out that she had once done the exact thing she now hated them for doing.

Angela stepped closer. ”You told me I needed help.”

”You did.”

”And you don’t?”

Karen’s head snapped back toward her. ”I got drunk.”

”You took a pill.”

”I said I got drunk.”

”Karen.”

”What?” Karen’s voice rose, and a few students glanced over before hurrying away. ”What do you want from me? Do you want me to cry in the parking lot and thank you for humiliating me? Do you want me to say you saved my life so you can feel better about dragging Mason into my bedroom and watching me sleep like I’m some pathetic charity case?”

Angela flinched, but she stayed where she was. ”That’s not what happened.”

”That’s exactly what happened.”

”We were worried about you.”

”You loved that, didn’t you?” Karen said, and her laugh came out mean. ”For once, I was the problem. For once, everyone got to stand around and look at me like I was the broken one.”

Roxie’s hands curled at her sides. ”Enough.”

Karen ignored her. Her eyes stayed on Angela. ”You think you get it because you had one meltdown over Caleb?”

Angela went still.

Roxie felt the air change before Karen even finished.

Karen saw the effect and kept going anyway. ”You cut yourself because Caleb dumped you. I got drunk. Stop acting like it’s the same thing.”

Angela’s face went white.

For a moment, she didn’t move. She didn’t even blink. The words had landed so hard that Roxie could almost see the exact place they hit. Angela’s mouth parted, but nothing came out.

Roxie stepped between them immediately. ”Karen, shut up.”

Karen’s gaze shifted to her, bright with anger and something uglier underneath. ”Of course you’d jump in.”

Roxie moved closer. ”You don’t get to say that to her.”

”She asked.”

”She asked because she cared.”

Karen scoffed. ”Everybody cares so much today.”

Angela’s eyes had filled, but she wiped at them with the heel of her hand, rough and fast. She didn’t back away. Roxie noticed that even through her own anger. Angela was hurt, badly hurt, but she stayed standing.

Roxie kept her voice low. ”You’re embarrassed. Fine. Be embarrassed. Be angry. But don’t use what happened to Angela because you hate that she’s right.”

Karen’s lips pressed together.

”You know she’s right,” Roxie said. ”That’s why you’re being cruel.”

Karen stared at her for a long second, and the look on her face made Roxie’s stomach turn. Karen knew exactly where to go next. Roxie could see it. She could see the thought forming, the way Karen’s anger searched for the softest place to cut.

”Stop looking at me like I’m your mother,” Karen said.

Roxie went quiet.

Angela looked at her.

Karen’s voice dropped, but that somehow made it worse. ”That’s what this is, right? You looked at me last night and saw Claire.”

Roxie couldn’t answer.

The parking lot kept moving around them. Students walked past. A car honked somewhere near the gate. Someone laughed too loudly near the entrance. None of it felt connected to where Roxie was standing.

Karen took one step closer. ”I’m not Claire.”

Roxie’s throat tightened so quickly it hurt.

Karen waited, like she wanted Roxie to hit back. Like she needed it. Like if Roxie yelled, Karen could yell louder and make the whole thing about anger instead of shame.

Roxie didn’t give her that.

She just stared at Karen.

That seemed to make Karen angrier.

”I’m not some dead woman you failed to save,” Karen said, quieter now, the words almost slipping out before she caught them. Her mouth closed. Her face changed for half a second, like even she knew she had almost gone somewhere worse.

Angela whispered, ”Karen.”

Karen looked at both of them, and for the first time that morning, her anger cracked enough for Roxie to see the exhaustion under it. Then she pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes again.

”I’m going to class.”

Roxie didn’t move.

Karen walked around her.

Angela turned slightly as Karen passed, but she didn’t reach for her. Roxie didn’t either. They both watched Karen cross the parking lot, shoulders stiff, bag swinging against her side, until she disappeared through the school entrance without looking back.

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke.

Then Angela made a small sound, like she had tried to breathe and failed.

Roxie turned to her immediately. ”Ange.”

Angela shook her head and pressed both hands over her face. The tears came then, but she didn’t fold into Roxie the way she might have weeks ago. She stood there crying in the parking lot, angry and shaking, her shoulders rising and falling too fast.

”I hate her right now,” Angela said.

Roxie’s chest hurt.

Angela wiped her face again, harder this time, and looked toward the school doors. ”I love her. I know I love her. But I hate her right now.”

Roxie nodded because she understood too well.

Angela laughed once, broken and furious. ”Caleb didn’t make me cut myself. That’s not what happened. It wasn’t just him. It was everything. The picture. The messages. Everyone seeing me. My parents looking at me like I was going to disappear. She knows that.”

”I know.”

”She was there.”

”I know.”

”She made me get help.”

Roxie reached for her hand, and Angela let her take it.

Angela’s fingers were cold. ”She made me get help, and now she’s mad because we tried to help her.”

”She’s ashamed.”

”I don’t care.”

Roxie looked at her.

Angela’s jaw tightened even while fresh tears slipped down her face. ”I don’t. I know I will later, but right now I don’t care if she’s ashamed. She had no right to say that.”

”She didn’t.”

”And she had no right to say that to you either.”

Roxie looked toward the school entrance.

The words were still sitting inside her.

Stop looking at me like I’m your mother.

I’m not Claire.

She swallowed, but it did almost nothing.

Angela squeezed her hand. ”Rox.”

”I’m okay.”

Angela stared at her.

Roxie sighed. ”Fine. I’m not. But we still have class.”

”I don’t want to go in there.”

”Me neither.”

Angela wiped her face with both hands, smearing a little mascara near the corner of one eye. ”Good. Then we can suffer together.”

Roxie smiled a little, but it barely held.

They stayed by the wall for another minute, letting the parking lot thin out around them. Roxie kept looking at the door Karen had entered through, waiting for something. An apology. A text. A sign that Karen had turned around and realized what she had just done.

Nothing came.

Angela let out a shaky breath and straightened her shoulders. ”I’m mad at her.”

”You should be.”

”I mean really mad.”

”I know.”

Angela nodded once, more to herself than to Roxie. ”Good.”

Roxie looked at her. ”Good?”

”Yeah.” Angela sniffed and wiped her cheek again. ”I’m tired of crying like I did something wrong.”

Roxie’s grip tightened around her hand.

Angela looked toward the school doors. Her eyes were still wet, but her face had changed. The hurt was there. So was the anger. This time, the anger stayed.

”She hurt me,” Angela said. ”That’s on her.”

Roxie nodded slowly. ”Yeah.”

Angela took one more breath, then started walking.

Roxie followed beside her.

When they reached the entrance, Angela stopped long enough to fix her ponytail and wipe under both eyes. Then she looked at Roxie.

”Do I look like I cried?”

”Yes.”

Angela narrowed her eyes.

Roxie shrugged. ”You asked.”

Angela huffed, but the sound almost became a laugh. ”Lie next time.”

”I’m not good at that anymore.”

Angela looked down for a second, then back at the hallway where Karen had disappeared.

”Then don’t,” she said.

They walked inside together.