Pregnant During An Apocalypse [BL]

Chapter 240: Chapter 240 - Please... I can’t

”We can’t stay here,” Shao said quietly, his voice firm but low.

His hand tightened around Jai’s wrist, tugging him forward as they jogged down a cracked and broken path. The wind carried faint echoes of distant explosions and collapsing structures, and both of them knew—this moment of quiet was temporary.

Jai struggled to keep up, his breathing still uneven, his legs sore.

But Shao didn’t stop. His eyes constantly flicked behind them, scanning rooftops, alleyways, shadows—everything. His mind was working fast, calculating paths, memorizing landmarks. They had managed to get far from the school, but they weren’t out of danger. Not yet.

Finally, Shao stopped in front of an old house half-hidden behind a collapsed fence and overgrown trees. Its windows were shattered, and the wooden frame leaned slightly to one side, like a tired man on his last leg.

He tested the door—locked. With a sharp grunt, he kicked it hard, splintering it open with a loud crack.

”Inside,” he ordered, gesturing quickly.

Jai stood at the entrance, hesitating. He glanced back the way they came, his brows furrowed.

”What about Yunfeng... and the others?” His voice was small. ”How will we find them?”

Shao looked at him for a moment. ”Wait for a few minutes. We’ll find them.” His tone was steady, certain—even if his eyes were shadowed with concern.

Something about those words, said with quiet assurance, calmed the frantic beating in Jai’s chest. He gave a small nod and stepped inside the house.

Dust hit his nose immediately. The air was stale, tinged with mold and rot. The hallway was narrow and dark, but the roof overhead remained intact. For now, that was all they could ask for.

As soon as they were inside, Shao walked past him without a word. He started moving around checking the corners of each room, testing the floorboards, securing windows with whatever debris he could find. Not once did he glance back at Jai.

Jai stood there, frozen near the doorway, watching him.

A strange ache bloomed in his chest.

He had thought—maybe after everything—they could talk. Maybe now Shao would look at him properly.

But Shao didn’t even glance his way.

Jai walked slowly to a couch that had long since lost its cushions, the frame sagging under the weight of time. He sat down and hugged his arms around his knees.

I don’t understand you, he thought miserably. You saved me. You held me. So why do you act like I’m not even here now?

He watched as Shao secured a window with an old chair, his expression blank.

And still... Jai felt his heart clench.

Jai sat huddled on the creaky couch, legs drawn up to his chest, the cold silence between him and Shao growing heavier with each second.

Finally, Shao stopped moving. He turned and walked off into the kitchen.

He strained to hear, his fists clenching unconsciously. The sound of a cupboard creaking open, the clink of a bottle. A moment later, Shao returned, holding a half-full bottle of water.

”Here,” he said curtly, not meeting Jai’s gaze.

Jai stared up at him.

Then something inside him cracked.

With a sudden snap, he slapped the bottle out of Shao’s hand, sending it skidding across the dusty floor. He jumped to his feet, fury blazing in his eyes, and grabbed the front of Shao’s collar with both fists.

”What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Jai snarled, shaking him. Shao’s eyes widened—just a flicker—but even that was enough to show he hadn’t expected it. And then, as if caught, he looked away, his gaze shifting to the cracked wall beside them.

”This isn’t the time to play around,” Shao muttered, voice tight. ”We’ll gather some supplies and—”

”Fuck you!”

Jai slammed him back against the wall with all his strength. A cloud of dust trembled from the ceiling.

His voice cracked as he shouted in Shao’s face, ”What the fuck is wrong with you, Shao?! Why the hell won’t you look at me?! What—is there something on my face?! Am I that disgusting to you?!”

Shao flinched, but stayed silent, his jaw tight, his hands clenched at his sides.

Jai’s breath came fast and ragged, his throat tight with emotion. ”Now you can’t even breathe the same air as me, is that it?! You stand there like you don’t feel anything! Like I’m not even here!”

He pressed harder, fists tightening in Shao’s shirt. His voice dropped into a strained, trembling whisper. ”Fuck this, Shao... If you’re gonna treat me like I’m filth just because I smell a bit, then just say it! Say it to my face!”

That scent—it hit Jai then, stronger than before. That soft, rich agarwood that always clung to Shao, grounding and warm. It made his knees feel weak, his anger tremble at the edges, turning into something far more vulnerable.

Jai’s hands trembled as he clutched Shao’s shirt tighter. ”You smell like a fucking monk half the time, and you don’t see me treating you like shit!”

Shao exhaled, trembling. His lips parted, but no words came at first.

Then finally, he murmured—barely audible—”You don’t know what you’re talking about...”

”What don’t I know?!” Jai’s voice cracked again as he struck his fist weakly against Shao’s chest. ”What the hell is it!”

There was silence again.

Shao’s eyes slowly dropped to meet Jai’s—dark, glassy with something unreadable.

He opened his mouth, but no excuses came.

Only a truth he was struggling to cage.

”...If I look at you,” he said quietly, ”I...I might loose control.”

Jai stood there frozen, Shao’s words echoing in his head like a thunderclap in the silence.

If I look at you the way I might—loose control?

His breath hitched, his grip on Shao’s shirt weakening entirely.

For a second, neither of them moved.

Then Shao suddenly pushed him back and turned away, retreating to the other side of the dusty room.

”W-What...” Jai whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of confusion. ”What does that even mean...”

Shao said nothing. His back was turned, one hand braced against the wall, the other curled into a fist so tightly his knuckles had gone white. His whole body was tense.

Jai stood there, heart pounding so hard it hurt. He had no idea what he’d stumbled into—but it felt like he’d just cracked open something deeply buried inside Shao. Some part of the man he’d never been meant to see.

He took a step forward, eyes wide with concern. ”Shao. Please... talk to me. What is wrong with you? What are you—”

”Stay back!”

Shao’s voice rang out, hoarse and panicked. He whipped around, eyes wide and glassy, his breath hitching violently. ”Just... stay back!”

He was shaking now. Shaking so hard he had to grab the wall with both hands to steady himself.

”Please...” he choked out. ”Please... I can’t...”