Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

The moment “Overtones” triggered, Celeste’s brain felt like it had been shattered into a billion pale, glittering fragments.

‘It’s over!”This goddamn passive again!”A forced costume change in front of everyone, at a moment like this?

What kind of cursed aesthetic and BGM is it gonna be this time?!’ But the impassioned battle anthem or goofy, comedic melody she braced herself for never arrived.

Instead, a simple and ancient harmony of zither and flute flowed down from the upper reaches of the river of time, pouring into the ears of everyone present.

The melody was solemn, imbued with the unyielding steadiness of solid rock.

Within its deep restraint lay the unspoken sighs of a world that had witnessed ages of change.

The sound alone was enough to make every restless and chaotic mind on the battlefield involuntarily settle.

It was none other than “Vortex of Legends.” The instant the BGM began, a soft yet heavy, brownish-gold light engulfed Celeste.

The simple priest robe she wore, stained with patches of Slime mucus, dissolved and reshaped within the radiant glow.

As the light swirled and coalesced, a magnificent, long coat materialized upon her form—a garment of brown, black, and gold, complex in its details, exuding an aura of ancient charm and deep majesty.

Dark, geometric patterns wound along the hem of the coat like mountain ranges and flowing rivers.

Within them, totems of rock and shimmering dragon scales flickered, manifesting a sense of supreme nobility and power.

It was, unmistakably, the classic attire of the Geo Archon, Rex Lapis.

However, a fatal sense of dissonance immediately crashed the party.

This ancient and formal attire, clearly designed for a tall, dignified, and steady male figure, was now forcibly “tailored” to Celeste’s own tall, athletic, and distinctly curvaceous body.

The coat remained magnificent, and the patterns remained majestic.

But on her, it created a jarring contrast, somewhere between an “Empress ascending the throne” and a “badly-fitted cosplay.” Areas that were meant to be loose and proper were now stretched taut, outlining curves that were far too pronounced and adding a touch of impropriety to the otherwise stately ensemble.

And then there was her face—a bizarre fusion of a mature woman’s features, currently stiffened by shock, and a slacker’s lazy aura, now temporarily masked by a veneer of majesty.

Paired with the Rex Lapis getup, the final result was the spitting image of a “Geo Archon Princess” whose art style had suddenly collapsed and who was being forced to clock in for work.

[ “Overtones” triggered!

BGM: “Vortex of Legends” (Genshin Impact – Zhongli: The Listener).

Transformed Character: Zhongli.

] [ Gained additional buff: Jade Shield · Modified (Duration: 60 seconds).

During this period, shields you apply have 250% of their base absorption.

While a shield is active, all enemies within 20 meters have their elemental and physical resistance reduced by 20%.

] The system’s prompts flashed by.

A sense of power, as vast as bedrock and as steady as a mountain, instantly filled every fiber of Celeste’s being.

She could feel her understanding and control over the concept of “shields” had reached an unmatched, almost instinctual, height.

But what rose in her heart at this moment was not the joy of gaining power, but the overwhelming impulse to perform a “Planet Befall” on the spot and smash herself, along with a sizable chunk of the landscape, deep into the planet’s core.

‘Why is it the Lord of Geo?!

System, how the hell did you adapt the body type?

What kind of ridiculous algorithm forces this into a female version?

Couldn’t you have at least made it a size bigger?

Since when did your Rex Lapis have a chest this stacked?!’ she roared frantically in the depths of her soul.

Just as the tidal wave of shame was about to breach the dikes of her reason, a particular image flashed through her mind: a figure in green tights and a beret, a boyish voice chirping, “Ehe~”.

Celeste’s internal screaming came to an abrupt halt.

She silently assessed the Rex Lapis coat on her body.

It was tight, yes, but at least it was solemn and majestic.

Then, she imagined that poet’s outfit, which looked like a strong gust of wind would be a public decency violation… And that “Ehe~” catchphrase… …Fine.

‘It could always be worse.

Guess I dodged a bullet there.’ Although this was still a public execution, at least this time, the death was a more dignified one.

“Sister… you, you, you again…” Selene, who had just rushed to the gap in the wall and was bracing for the explosion, heard the new BGM and turned her head.

She froze completely at the sight of her sister’s drastic transformation, almost dropping the shield in her hand as her eyes went wide.

“This time… what is this?!

An ancient emperor?!

That outfit… it’s so domineering!

But sister, why does it feel so… weird when you wear it?!” Her vocabulary failed her.

For a moment, she couldn’t find a suitable adjective; she only felt that her sister’s art style had leaped from “bizarre” straight into “completely collapsed.” The Earth Spirits, however, had a completely different reaction.

The moment Celeste’s transformation was complete, every single one of them, including the battle-hardened Shi Xu Earth Spirit, shuddered violently.

Their rock-like bodies began to emit a faint, low hum, like the deep resonance of a mountain range.

It wasn’t fear.

It was an instinctual tremor that originated from their very bloodline, from every speck of dust and stone that composed their forms.

It was the absolute, primordial adoration of the fundamental Earth element for the Creator God who governed all rock and contracts in the world.

“This… this is…” On the Shi Xu Earth Spirit’s stone-hewn face, an expression akin to dumbfounded awe appeared for the first time.

It even felt a subconscious urge to drop to one knee.

“This aura… it’s like the ancient earth itself, the foundation that bears all things!

It is… the pulse of rock!

It is… the majesty of a monarch!” But the battlefield waits for no one.

The large Flame Slimes that had surged into the gap were now glowing with a fiery intensity that had reached its absolute limit.

In the next second, they would magnificently self-destruct.

Celeste suppressed the urge to simply ascend to the heavens and leave this mortal coil behind.

Shame and the will to survive intertwined, twisting into a clear shout that attempted to imitate Zhongli’s steady, commanding tone, but was marred by a tremor of humiliation that made it crack slightly.

“Order guide you!” The moment the words left her mouth, Celeste was the first to get goosebumps.

‘So cringey!

So embarrassing!’ But the effect was obvious.

She instinctively raised a hand, her will locking onto her sister and the few Earth Spirits in the most precarious positions.

It was no longer the familiar platinum halo of a priest’s shield.

Instead, incredibly thick, solid shields shimmering with a glazed amber luster instantly enveloped them.

On the surface of these shields, ancient, geometric rock patterns flowed like liquid stone.

Jade Shield, activated.

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

Almost at the exact moment the shields formed, several large Flame Slimes exploded in a violent chain reaction.

Scorching waves of fire and concussive shockwaves slammed against the amber shields.

Yet, those seemingly brittle, crystalline barriers were like bedrock that had stood since time immemorial.

They didn’t even tremble.

Only a few faint ripples spread across their surfaces as the explosive power, which would have severely damaged the Earth Spirits, was completely neutralized.

“What?!” Selene felt the solid, unyielding sensation from the shield, a feeling of security that far surpassed any her sister had ever cast before.

Her eyes widened in shock.

This sense of safety was so absolute that she felt if a dragon were to charge her right now, she’d dare to meet it head-on and challenge it to an arm-wrestling match.

But the changes that surprised her even more were yet to come.

Within the area of effect, the elemental light shimmering on the surface of all the rushing Slimes visibly dimmed.

Their crawling speed slowed, and even the power they emitted felt significantly weaker.

“Their defenses… they’ve been drastically reduced!” Selene immediately noticed the change.

The Holy Strikes and Hammers of Justice that had previously felt like hitting stone now landed with significant impact.

The holy light energy seemed to have found a weakness, easily tearing through the Slimes’ protective layers and purifying them into pools of viscous liquid in droves.

“Hiss—!” The Earth Spirits discovered that their stone hammers, which had been bouncing off the Rock Shield Slimes, could now knock off large chunks of rubble with every blow.

Attacks that were previously like scraping away sand were now crushing their targets.

“It is the decree of that… ‘Geo Archon Princess’!” The Shi Xu Earth Spirit’s eyes blazed with a fanatical brilliance, its form of address changing without it even realizing.

“Her words hold power!

She has weakened these twisted creations!” “Shamans!

Full-force attack!” the Wall-Claw Troglodyte leader shrieked, seizing the opportunity.

Greatly encouraged, the troglodyte shamans unleashed a volley of stone spikes that, moments ago, had been ineffective.

Now, they easily pierced through the Slimes’ bodies.

The tide of battle had been reversed in an instant.

Celeste endured the agony of her social death, maintaining the Jade Shield—which consumed an absurdly low amount of mana for how sturdy it was—while waving the pink, cutesy staff that created a devastating visual contrast with her solemn Rex Lapis attire, precisely sniping any monsters that slipped through the net.

Under the battlefield-wide resistance reduction aura, her own attack efficiency had also improved dramatically.

Selene was like a tiger let loose among a flock of sheep, purifying the enemy horde with unmatched speed.

She couldn’t help but shout excitedly, “Sister!

This ‘Rex Lapis Engine’ of yours is insane!

How about I just call you the Geo Archon Princess from now on?!” Celeste: “…” ‘Please, for the love of all that is holy, shut up!

Don’t call me that!’ Under the powerful, if socially excruciating, support of the “Geo Archon Princess (Social Death Edition),” the once-precarious defense line not only stabilized but even began to push back.

The wave of Slimes, caught between the impenetrable Jade Shield and the crippling resistance reduction, melted away like snow in the sun and was quickly cleared.

[Elysian’s Note: Having a good time with the story?

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