Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

Deep within the cavern, nestled in the oppressive shadows of hanging stalactites, Selene lowered her voice, a tremor of barely contained excitement running through it.

She poked half her head out from behind their cover, then quickly snapped it back.

“One, two, three…” she whispered, counting on her fingers.

“Sis, there are so many!

At least thirty of them!” Her eyes were wide.

“And that big one with the hammer looks especially tough.” Celeste said nothing.

Her breathing remained as slow and steady as a slumbering beast, but her gaze had long since drifted past her sister.

Her senses extended like invisible tendrils, brushing over every surface and creature in the vast cavern hall.

The light was murky, and the jagged stalagmites and sheer rock walls cast large, heavy shadows across the floor—a natural hunting ground.

More, the wind element perception granted by the Venti trial card allowed her to clearly “hear” the flow of the air itself.

The heavy, rhythmic breathing over there—that was a sentry dozing off at his post.

The sluggish, scattered footsteps near the entrance—a bored patrolman wandering aimlessly.

The subtle eddy in the airflow just around that corner—that was where her next target was hiding.

In moments, the layout of the entire cavern and the precise, real-time positions of every goblin had coalesced into a flawless 3D map inside her mind.

“A direct confrontation would be unwise,” Celeste whispered, her voice a ghost in the dark.

Her fingertips tapped the air, as if selecting pieces on an invisible chessboard.

“So, let’s play a game.” A dangerous curve tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“It’s called ‘Perfect Infiltration’.” “Infiltration?” Selene glanced down at the polished knight’s armor she wore, then at her sister’s simple, oversized cloth robe.

Her expression was troubled.

“Sis, with our gear…

how are we supposed to infiltrate anything?” “Simple,” Celeste said, her smile widening.

“We kill everyone who sees us.” She paused, letting the words hang in the air.

“Wouldn’t that be a perfect infiltration?” Selene stared, stunned for a heartbeat.

Then, a slow grin of dawning realization spread across her face.

She lowered her voice, her tone now brimming with conspiratorial excitement.

“Got it!

Physical stealth!” “Exactly.” A thought flickered in Celeste’s mind.

The hidden blade she’d won from the system lottery materialized silently beneath her wrist, cleverly concealed by the wide cuff of her priest robe.

She detached the mechanism from her left arm and offered it to her sister.

“Know how to use this?

It’s quieter than your sword.” Selene took the delicate killing tool, turning it over in her hands with curiosity.

After a few moments of inspection, she shook her head decisively and handed it back.

With a soft, metallic shing, she drew the knight’s sword from her waist in a smooth backhand grip.

In the dim light of the cavern, the blade shimmered like a pool of autumn water.

“Thanks, Sis, but I’m not used to little gadgets like that.” She spun the longsword in a confident flourish.

The faint whistle of the blade slicing through the air was barely audible, but her eyes were resolute.

“I still trust this more.

Don’t worry,” she added with a grim smile, “I know how to make it ‘quiet’.” Celeste raised an eyebrow but didn’t insist, reattaching the hidden blade to her own wrist.

“You take the left, I’ll take the right.” “Use the shadows and the rocks.

Pick off the stragglers first.” “Move as fast as you can, and don’t let them make a sound.” The next second, two figures melted away from the stalactite, vanishing into the gloom.

They were no longer sisters.

They were two apex predators slipping into a sheep pen.

Despite her armor, Selene moved with deliberate grace.

She softened her footfalls, kept her center of gravity low, and planted each step firmly on the stone, keeping the metallic clanking to an absolute minimum.

Celeste’s movements, however, were downright ghostly.

The blessing of the wind made her landings utterly silent, and her perception of the airflow allowed her to “hear” every movement around the next corner before she even saw it.

She was like a grim reaper walking in the sliver of space between reality and shadow.

The first target appeared.

It was a goblin leaning against a rock wall, clutching a hand axe as it dozed.

Celeste emerged from the darkness directly behind it.

Her left hand shot out, and the hidden blade sprang forth.

Puchi!

The blade slid precisely through the gap in the goblin’s cervical vertebrae, instantly severing its central nervous system.

The creature’s soul returned to the earth before it even had a chance to wake from its dream.

[Ding!

Silently assassinated a slacking goblin with a hidden blade.

Achievement unlocked: “Why Do Slackers Have to Make Things Hard for Other Slackers?” Elation Coins +30!] Next target.

Two goblins were arguing incessantly over a shiny rock, spittle flying from their snarling mouths.

Celeste approached without a sound.

The pink staff in her hand was no longer a magical focus; it was a lethal bludgeon.

The crystal at its tip connected with the left goblin’s temple with a sickeningly precise thump.

The goblin’s body went limp without so much as a grunt.

In that same instant, just as the goblin on the right opened its mouth to scream, Celeste’s hidden blade struck like a viper.

It shot through the creature’s wide-open maw and punched out the back of its skull, choking off all terror in its throat.

[Ding!

Double Kill!

Clean and efficient.

Elation Coins +30!] She moved like an artist of death, every strike a perfect blend of efficiency and brutal beauty.

Using her airflow perception, she could even predict the exact moment a patrolling goblin would turn its head.

She would slide behind a stalagmite an instant beforehand, and as the goblin brushed past, her left arm would clamp around its neck like an iron pincer while the heavy handle of her staff slammed into the small of its back.

With a crisp snap, another soul was quietly reaped.

On the other side of the cavern, Selene was displaying the “violent aesthetics” of a Paladin.

She abandoned all wide, sweeping attacks, relying only on the simplest and most lethal stabs and cuts.

As she closed in on a target, her left hand would clamp hard over the goblin’s mouth and nose, stifling any cry for help.

Simultaneously, the knight’s sword in her right hand would strike without hesitation, piercing its throat through a gap in its crude leather armor.

Or, it would drive straight into the heart, slipping between the ribs.

When the blade was withdrawn, it was slick with hot, viscous fluid.

Though her victims struggled slightly, their muffled gurgles were lost in the cavern’s inherent background noise—a drop of water falling into a vast, dark lake, causing no ripples.

Her method was the absolute, brutal efficiency of a trained knight.

The point counters on their wristbands were climbing at a frantic, silent pace.

The signature “gaga” cackles echoing through the cavern were thinning out at a visible rate.

[Ding!

Assassinated Elite Goblin Guards (Lv.20-23) x3.

Gained Points +120!

Current infiltration rate: 10%!

Host, I’m starting to understand your definition of ‘infiltration’!] [Ding!

Assassinated Elite Goblin Guards (Lv.20-23) x6.

Gained Points +240!

Current infiltration rate: 30%!

The perfect stealth is making all the red dots on the map disappear!] [Ding!

Assassinated Elite Goblin Guards…

Current infiltration rate: 60%!

Victory is in sight!] Just as the two of them silently dispatched the sixteenth goblin, an accident occurred.

The Goblin Chieftain (Lv.25), which had been sitting motionless on its crude throne, seemed to feel that the cavern was a bit too quiet.

Its murky, mung bean-sized eyes blinked once, then twice.

Something was wrong.

Today…

seemed exceptionally quiet.

Why weren’t the brats who usually made its brain ache with their noise “gaga-ing” anymore?

It extended a green, sharp-nailed claw and began to count its subordinates, employing a mathematical ability that may have reached the dizzying heights of “double digits.” “Squad one…

ga…” “Squad two…

wu…” “Squad three…

ji…” It counted and counted, only to suddenly stumble upon a shocking fact.

Its fingers seemed to be enough today.

This wasn’t right.

This was very un-goblin-like.

Usually, after counting three squads, it would have to take off its smelly leather boots and start counting its toes!

“GAAAA—!!!” A roar that could pierce clouds and crack stone exploded from the Goblin Chieftain’s throat.

The remaining dozen or so guards jumped in shock, their wits scared clean out of them.

“Missing!

Missing!

My shiny guards are missing so many!” the Goblin Chieftain bellowed, brandishing its massive war hammer in a fury.

“Bad guys!

There are bad guys stealing goblins!!” The roar was like a giant boulder crashing into a calm pond.

The remaining goblins finally snapped out of their stupor.

They huddled together in a panic, their eyes darting around in terror, only to realize that nearly half of their companions had vanished at some point.

“Ugly big guys!

It must be those ugly big guys!” “Where are they?!” “Find them!

Avenge Stupid Ga, Skinny Ga, and Stinky Ga…!” The goblin reeled off a dozen names in a single, enraged breath.

The goblins fell into a frenzy of panic and rage.

They no longer scattered, but clustered tightly around their chieftain, their fierce, fear-filled gazes frantically scanning every shadow in the cavern hall.

[Elysian’s Note: Having a good time with the story?

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